Fullmetal Wizardry
by Deception Alchemist
Summary: Dumbledore invites an old friend of his to Hogwarts. And apparently, he's not who he seems to be...Ed and Al try to find a way home, while battling Voldemort's new ally. Looks like Harry's not very happy...in edit
1. Chapter 1

**Edited! Hope this one is better...This is going to be anime and manga. Actually, now that I think about it, the only difference is that Hohenheim's the Philosopher's Stone. So it's mostly anime. By the way, let's say that Ed didn't meet Hohenheim in either time he went past the Gate, k? I just like him beating Hohenheim up...it's just funny...XD**

"Is brother going to be all right?" Al asked worriedly. He didn't want to lose his brother...again!

"He's going to be quite all right. Now if you don't mind me asking, where do you come from? We just found you two in the Forbidden Forest," an old man with long white hair and beard with half-moon glasses said stroking his beard lightly.

"We're from...uh...Germany. Hey, what are you doing!" Al yelled, leaping back in alarm. There was a loud clatter as the chair he was sitting in fell to the floor. He felt something poking around his brain and it didn't take a genius to figure out who was doing it. However, it _did_ take a genius to feel the poking and prodding.

"Amazing, you could tell? Not many people can tell if I use Legilimency on them. I recognized that Flamel(1) cross on the back of your jacket. Have you heard of a place called Amestris?" the man asked leaning forward, eyes twinkling mischieviously.

"How did you know?" Al gasped. Dumbledore opened his mouth, but was interrupted before he uttered a sound.

"AL!" Ed gasped.

Al turned around to find his brother with his eyes wide open, lying on the bed gripping the bed sheets tightly.

"Brother! Don't hurt yourself. You never take care of yourself and you slept with your stomach out again," Al sighed, fitting back in to the older brother role. It was an odd role, considering he was the younger Elric brother.

"Yeah, yeah, besides, there are more things to worry about. One being, where the hell we are. Last thing I remember was being knocked out by some creepy looking monster," Ed asked, looking around, "Eh? Hey who's the old geezer?"

"Brother, be polite to him, he was the one who helped you, and he knows about Amestris, besides, be happy that he didn't use any needles on you!" Al said.

"N-n-need-dles?" Ed stuttered, turning pasty.

"I just said he _didn't_use them," Al quickly said, fully aware of Ed's fear of needles. Needlephobia or something like that. Or perhaps Sharp-Things-phobia. Either way, he was more scared of them then of the homunculi.

Dumbledore took this opputunity to say, "Of course I know about Amestris, I have an old friend from there, do you know him? He said his name is Nicholas Flamel, but then again, he was quite well at Occulemency-"

He was cut off by (oh there's a shocker) Ed.

"Occuleminwhat?" Ed interrupted rudely.

"Occulemency, to stop someone from reading their mind, Al does it quite well too. But like I was saying, he might have been lying, I'm sure he has his reasons. Now on a slightly related issue, what are your names?" the man asked.

"My name is Edward Elric, my brother's Alphonse Elric but just call us Ed and Al. And tell us your name, equivalent trade, after all," Ed said pointedly.

"I am Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. But just call me Albus. And did you just say that you were the Elric brothers? As in the youngest State Alchemist of Amestris Edward Elric? The Alchemist of the People?"

"Yeah...Why?" Ed asked suspiciously. Of course he liked being adored, as he fully should be, but there was something weird about that man. Perhaps it was the fact that he could've passed off as...as...General Grummans grandfather! Or maybe it was the beard that was long enough to be wrapped around his waist twice, as an odd belt. Or maybe because his nose was broken at least twice, maybe three, and could still keep his half-moon glasses on. Buuut it was probably because of the way he dressed. A dress. A man...in a dress. Thankfully, not a flowery one like Winry liked to wear, but a still...a dress...

"Well it's not everyday someone crosses the gate to our world and is a State Alchemist," Dumbledore said, his eyes glittering.

"Al, how much did you tell him?" Ed said hesitantly.

"Nothing, brother, he knew all of it already," Al defended as he felt Ed's glare boring into him.

"Hey, you still didn't tell us where we are," Ed said suddenly, trying to change the subject off of him.

"Oh, of course, we are at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," Dumbledore chuckled at his own negligence.

"Witch craft? Wizardry? That's impossible! There is no such thing as magic though! Only science!" Ed said skeptically, shifting so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He winced as he felt a shart pain in his midriff.

"Be careful! You're going to get yourself killed one day like that," Al exclaimed, noticing the wince.

"Well, then, I'll show you," Dumbledore said, as he drew out his wand and muttered something as he pointed his wand away from the boys. Suddenly, a great big gust of fire spurt out of the end of it.

"Looks just like Mustang's flame doesn't it?" Al grinned.

"Damn, that's impossible though. There's no circle..." Ed said staring at the strange stick in Dumbledore's hand in awe and confusion.

"Unlike in alchemy, when you use magic, you don't need any circles, and the Law of Equivalent Exchange doesn't matter," Dumbledore explained.

"But that's impossible!" Ed yelped. "Where does all the extra matter come from?! Or where does it go?"

"I'm not sure of it myself, I only know that you can bypass the laws of equivalency," Dumbledore said, shrugging slightly.

"Brother, haven't you realized from our travels that anything is possible? We always thought that successful chimeras and homunculi weren't possible. And that human transmutation was impossible to succeed at," Al said.

"Hmmm, I guess you're right, but equivalent exchange should always be in play! Where's the equivalency? That thing is just a stick!"

"As I've just demonstrated, equivalent exchange is not always there, if you'd like to see more of it, you could stay for the year, as you figure out a way to return home. I never figured out how Flamel was able to cross the Gate so many times. I should ask him to visit sometime," Dumbledore said.

"We'll be able to be with Winry and Hawkeye and Mustang and everyone else back at home soon!" Al gushed excitedly.

"Would you like to teach alchemy to some of our students? It would benefit them greatly. You see, magic can't be done without a wand, and if a wizard or witch doesn't have a wand with him, he can't do magic. Since you believe in equivalent exchange so much, you can stay here and research and you can teach my students alchemy," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling.

"Okay...but how can I teach them if this world doesn't allow alchemy?" Ed asked.

"Most places in this world doesn't allow alchemy, but Hogwarts is one of the few places it does. Try it," Dumbledore insisted.

"Okay..." Ed said unsure about this. He clapped his hands and placed it on the wood table next to his bed. There was a flash of blue lightening and the table turned into an exact statue of Al's old armor, plus some personal...details.

"Brother, you always put too much extra lines," Al said running a finger on down the armor.

"If you will excuse me, I need to talk to my staff about the changes," Dumbledore said as he stood up.

"Can you believe it, we finally get a way home after all our time in this world. Do you think that Mustang became Fuhrur?" Ed asked, dreaming of Amestris.

"I don't know, before you got back, Mustang wasn't as...confident and he's an enlisted man now, remember, there's no way he could just fly up the ranks, that fast," Al said.

"You never know with Mustang," Ed said wisely. "Do you seriously believe this magic thing is real?"

"Well he just did magic didn't he?" Al asked, pouring a cup of water for himself.

"But this goes against everything we learned, everything that Izumi pounded into us," Ed said, lying back down.

"We'll just have to see," Al agreed.

"Wait a minute," Ed said, suddenly, sitting bolt straight up. There was alarm in his eyes and panic etched into his face.

"What?" Al asked, alarmed.

"Is it just me, or did I just agree...to TEACH?" Ed asked, worry lining his face.

Al giggled a bit before chirping a "Yep!"

Ed groaned as he slapped a pillow on his face. It just wasn't his day was it?

* * *

"Minerva, I'm sure of it, they are Flamel's sons. The three of them have the same eyes," Dumbledore said to the two other members of staff that were in the Order of the Phoenix. They were in the corridor outside of the Hospital Wing where Dumbledore had just came out of.

"It's just their eye color, what does that prove?" McGonagall argued. It wasn't like Dumbledore to be this...this lenient. And that's saying something, considering Dumbledore accepted and hired a werewold, a half-giant, and more, knowing _exactly_ what he was getting into.

"As much as I have to say it, I agree with Minerva in this. You said they don't believe in magic at all, and everything they do that remotely connects to magic has to follow this equivalent exchange, so doesn't that mean they are just filthy muggles," Snape sneered. "I say we should just _Obliviate_ them and send them back to this Amestris place."

"It's not just their eye color, which I doubt any other person has, but they have the same determination in their eyes. They're not just muggles, they've been through a lot, they know what it's like to be at war, if I do say so myself, they've been through more than Harry has," Dumbledore replied. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go bring them to the Order of the Phoenix Headquarters."

McGonagall gaped, "Are you sure that's a good idea? You've only just met them."

"Of course, I looked through the boys' minds while I was talking, the younger one let me in, as soon as he realized that I was just checking their trustworthiness. And the older one, I'm sure did not sense me," Dumbledore replied.

McGonagall and Snape understood that the conversation was over, even if they did not like it.

* * *

"Hey, who are they?" Harry asked as Dumbledore led a pair of boys in to Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

"I don't know. Maybe- that's the Flamel symbol!" Hermione said excitedly.

"Flamel? Why does that sound familiar?" Ron asked, racking his brain.

"Remember in our first year there was the Philosopher's Stone? Nicholas Flamel?" Hermione asked, rolling her eyes.

"Oh yeah! He was Dumbledore's friend and they created the Philosopher's Stone, right? So then...what are they doing here?" Ron asked.

"I'm not sure, but they must have at least learned a little of alchemy to be able to wear the symbol," Hermione said, staring intently at the two boys.

"But he's looks like he's only 12! That's 3 years younger than us, and Dumbledore's taking him into the meeting room!" Harry spat. So now some twelve year old brat could go in, but not Harry Potter? And here he thought that the Order wanted to kill Voldemort. And isn't it best to send Harry Potter, the boy who defied Voldemort

"Well he must have a good reason to do that, right? Dumbledore knows not to just trust random people off the street and invite them in," Ron asked. It was one of those rare moments where he was reasonable.

"Yes, but they must be very important, if he's letting them hear the meeting," Hermione said, gazing at the closed door where two _very_ handsome boys just walked through.

* * *

"Hello Molly," Dumbledore said, as two teenagers uncertainly followed him into the Order of the Phoenix meeting room.

"Hello, if I may ask, who are they?" Mr. Weasleysaid as he stood up and shook hands with the boys.

"They are our new Alchemy teachers, Professors Ed and Al Elric," Dumbledore said. "I just wanted them to come visit the Order of the Phoenix, in case they ever need to come. They are from the other side of the Gate, which I'll explain some other time."

"Professor? But aren't they a bit...young?" Mr. Weasley asked.

"Not to worry, Arthur, age doesn't matter when it comes to talent!" Dumbledore laughed.

"Can I say something please? We believe Envy will team up with Voldemort. Envy is a homunculus, which means that he is immortal and he has can shape-shift. They both want the Philosopher's Stone but for completely different reasons. Envy wants to turn back into a human and Voldemort wants to become immortal," Ed said as he stepped forward.

"Why would anyone want to become mortal?" Snape asked scornfully.

"You wouldn't understand why, but a woman named Dante convinced them that being a human was a lot better than being a homunculus. She's dead right now, but she managed to convince them quite well," Ed said turning to Snape. Looking at all the others in the room, he noticed one man that looked familiar. Apparently Al was thinking the same thing.

"Brother, do you think that's the double for Zolf J. Kimblee?" Al glaring slightly at Sirius intently, remembering how he nearly died because of Kimblee.

"I think that he is, they look the same, but they could be polar opposites like the two Lusts and the Scars. Or they could be like Rose and Noa," Ed warned.

"Excuse me, but do I know you?" Sirius asked blankly as he noticed the boys staring at him.

Ed blushed, "Sorry, but my brother and I have noticed there is a double for everyone from Amestris. Like we had a friend, Rose, and her counterpart was a gypsy named Noa. You look like someone called Zolf J. Kimblee, but we haven't really been on the best terms with him since he was convicted for killing his comrades. And especially for the time he tried to kill Al."

Sirius looked a little disturbed at this. The other Order members was also fidgeting.

"But we also know some other guy who tried to kill us in Amestris, but in this world he was really nice and helped Ed get back to Amestris. But we were forced to come back," Al said trying to comfort Sirius, feeling the tension in the room.

"Dinner is ready," Mrs. Weasley said as she poked her head in the room.

Dumbledore said suddenly, "May have a few words with the Elrics before dinner?"

"Of course," Ed said.

Dumbledore waited until everybody had filed out of the room and started talking.

"You should know that Sirius was accused of killing his best friend fifteen years ago. And a couple days later, he was also accused of killing people by blowing them up all at once. His former friend framed him by cutting off his finger and then blowing up the street.You should know that when you said that about this Kimblee, it hit home. I'm just telling you this because I don't want you going around saying that Sirius is here, his name was never officially cleared," Dumbledore said, after he led them into a separate room.

"Of course," Al said.

"Now, I'll leave you two to Molly, you might want to get to dinner before she goes on about how thin you two look, after that, we'll leave, I just wanted you to meet the Order of the Phoenix in case Envy really has teamed up with Voldemort," Dumbledore said. He led the two of them out to the dining room where everyone else was already eating.

"Hello. I'd like to introduce you six to your new Alchemy teachers Professors Edward and Alphonse Elric," Dumbledore said.

"He's our alchemy teacher? Don't you think-" Fred said.

"he's a wee bit too short?" George continued.

Al saw vein marks in Ed's forehead and sensed danger.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A GRAIN OF RICE THAT AN ANT WOULD OVERLOOK!" Ed yelled, kicking and clawing as Al held him back.

"Heh heh, Brother's a bit sensitive about his height. Brother, if you drink some milk sometime, people won't ask about your height," Al scolded.

"Are you saying I'm SHORT! Besides, I'll never drink any liquid secreted from a cow," Ed said, turning red.

"Well, if you-"

"Say it like that-"

"I don't feel like drinking milk anymore," Fred finished as he gingerly put his glass of milk back on the table.

"No, no, but you could be taller, and that way when we see him again, Mustang won't say that you're short," Al said. Ed ground his teeth knowing this brother was right, but didn't say anything.

After the dinner, Ed decided to take a chance.

"Do any of you know about a Philosopher's Stone?" he said taking a deep breath.

"Why do you want to know?" Harry asked suspiciously.

"Because we think that's the only way to get to back home, to the other side of the Gate," Al said.

"The Gate?" Hermione asked, Ron and Harry snickered at the thought that there was stuff that Hermione didn't know. But this also unnerved them. They couldn't go to Hermione for answers to any question. Relating to alchemy that is. For anything else, Hermione was still the amazing human answer-er...er.

"The Gate of Alchemy is in everyone and you open it when you attempt human transmutation--"

"Human transmutation?" Hermione interrupted. She didn't like it when she was in the dark.

"Attempting to bring back the dead. I say attempting because there have only been two known successful transmutations in the entire history of alchemy," Ed said, deciding it was best not to mention it was the two of them who did it.

"Bringing back the dead?" Harry asked sharply. It was the only part that registered.

"How about we get back to that. I'd like to finish up the explanation on the Gate first. So it opens if you attempt human transmutation, activate the right transmutation circle on an infant, or when you sacrifice someone with the correct transmutation circle. The person that guards the Gate calls himself God, Truth, One, All, all of the names for God. Anyway, if you see the Truth, which is all the secrets of alchemy, he usually takes a limb, organs, any body parts, sometimes the entire body as equivalent exchange for the knowledge you gained, " Al said shivering as he remembered his years in a suit of armor.

"Now about the human transmutation. Most people die if they attempt it. When the alchemist actually made something, it was usually a homunculus which is like a soulless living being, but they each have their own power, are immortal, and are named after the seven sins. By the way, there are seven. Their looks, personality, or power reflect on their name, for example, Envy was our brother before he became a homunculus. He was envious that our father left his mom for our mom, and he can shape-shift, " Ed said explaining how Envy got his name. He also felt that it was best not to mention that their bastard of a father left 400 years ago.

"Most of the homunculus are dead, the only one, Envy, that is still alive, unless while we were gone someone else created another one, but anyway Envy is the only one alive, and he's out to kill our dad and us. And we believe that he teamed up with Voldemort to get the Stone, in exchange for killing us," Al said.

"Didn't you help make a stone with Flamel, Dumbledore? You hid it in Hogwarts," Harry said, remembering their first year.

"There was a Philosopher's Stone in Hogwarts?" Ed said quickly.

"Yes, but it was destroyed shortly after Voldemort attempted to steal it," Dumbledore said.

"Oh..."

"Cheer up brother, I'm sure we'll figure out a way to do make one!" Al said.

"The magical way is purely magic, it only allows the user to become immortal and turn lead into gold, which I doubt is the one you're looking for. But I'm sure you two will be able find another way to make the stone, after all, you two are called geniuses back in Amestris," Dumbledore said.

"Yeah, we are," Ed grinned sheepishly.

"Before Brother gets a swelled head, anymore question?" Al asked.

"Well he doesn't-"

"need a swelled head."

"It's already swelled-"

"up enough."

The twins knew the risk and paid for it dearly. Ed was held off by Al struggling to keep him away from the twins. As much as he tried, Ed still got a minor scratch on the twins.

"I've got one, how'd you get here from Amestris? Isn't it a supposedly legendary world?" Sirius asked.

"We went through the Gate. You see, on one side is this world, and on the other side is Amestris. In between, is the Gate. I suppose if one of you guys passed through the Gate you would learn all the secrets to magic," Ed said.

"One more question. How _do _you make a Philosopher's Stone?" Mr. Weasley asked.

Ed and Al tensed as the question was asked.

"That's not for you to know."

With that, the conversation ended quite abruptly.

* * *

"Ron, wake up," Harry whispered in the middle of the night.

"Wuzzgoinon?" Ron mumbled. It took Harry a second to translate that as "What's going on?"

"Nothing really, but I wanted to ask what you thought about the Alchemy teachers," Harry whispered.

"They're ok I guess, but the short one looked like he was going to kill Fred and George when they said how short he was," Ron said yawning.

"But don't you think that look a little young to be teachers?" Harry pressed.

"Where are you going with this." Ron asked blankly, eyes finally wide open...sorta.

"I think they work for Voldemort," Harry said.

"What do you mean?" Ron said sitting up.

"Well they looked interested in the Philosopher's Stone, weren't they?" Harry said.

"So?"

"Well remember in the first year, how Voldemort was so interested in the stone? Maybe the Elric's are his subordinates."

"You're off your rocker Harry, loads of people are interested in it," Ron said, staring.

"Come on, you don't believe in this 'Gate' thing do you? 'God' that takes away limbs and a gate that has all the knowledge of alchemy. Isn't God supposed to be good and like peace or something?"

"Dunno, now can I get some sleep? You need some too, tomorrow's your hearing, " Ron asked, not paying attention. He flopped back into bed as he snuggled up against his pillow. "If you want to get off, you better sl-sll..."

"Huh? oh yeah," Harry said as he turned out the lights. He smiled a strained smile to himself as he heard Ron snore. He fell into a restless slumber.

* * *

(1)-Aaaaactually, in this book I read called "Peeps" by Scott Westerfeld (which is BRRRRILLIANT) it said that the symbol was Hermes's, the god of alchemists... Maybe the Hermes's version, which excludes the wings (think the symbols you seen on your doctor's diploma, that's the thing), is Hermes and the ones with the wings and crown are Flamel's...?


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry that this one is so much shorter than the previous one, but I figured that I could put classes and stuff on the next one. I can't wait to write about the classes that Ed and Al has to teach.**

_"Alchemy Through the Years..._this book is just a load of crap..." Ed muttered. Al kicked Ed lightly...kind of...under the desk Ed grumbled some more. "I can't help it if all of the alchemy books in this place are just a load of crap."

The door to the library slammed open. It was followed by a screech: "I DEMAND TO SPEAK WITH YOU TWO!"

"Uhhh...who are you," Al asked hesitantly as he started stacking the piles of paper that Ed just accidentally kicked over. The unwelcome visitor was tall...well horizontally, anyway. And vertically...? Well let's just say she's shorter than Ed. And that's saying something.

"I am Dolores Umbridge, the Senior Undersecretary of the Minister of Magic," Umbridge said furiously and proudly...somehow at the same time...

"So...Who are you?" Ed asked nonchalantly, flipping a page in _Alchemy Through the Years_ before tossing it on to the table.

"Arrgh! I'm here to say that I do not approve of you teaching alchemy to the students, a shrimp like you can't teach--" Umbridge growled. A vein pulsed in Ed's head and he ground his teeth, trying to control himself..

"May I ask what are you doing here?" Dumbledore asked and he opened the previously abused door gingerly.

"As you know, Corn--, I mean the Minister, asked me to oversee the running of Hogwarts and to teach here but I don't believe this this pipsqueak is up to-" Umbridge was cut off.

"Aaaah! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SPECK OF DUST AN ELECTRON MICROSCOPE WON'T SPOT!! I'm not short! I'm taller than you!" Ed yelled, accidentally thrashing the recently stacked papers of notes. Umbridge flinched at the loudness of Ed's voice.

"Now really, this is a library!" Madam Pince said glaring at Ed before going to back to whatever it was she was doing.

"Now, now, don't kill her, that would mean more work for me," Dumbledore chuckled.

"I'm even stronger than you, I got into the State Military when I was 12!" Ed said, still shouting wildly.

"Well, _I_ am of higher ranking than you, I rank as a general if you convert our system into your military ranks," Umbridge said smugly.

"Well that doesn't matter does it, if you ask Mustang, he'll say I never listen to him, and your starting to sound like him, Dumbledore, he'd always tell me not to die, because it'll mean more paperwork for him," Ed grumbled out the last part.

"It's true, all brother ever does is show up at the annual recertification exam. And once, he just 'made up crap on a train' as he put it," Al sighed, shaking his head as he repiled the notes.

"If you're that inept, perhaps you shouldn't be teaching here," Umbridge said tartly.

"You wanna find inept, look for Mustang," Ed said under his breath.

"Who is this Mustang?" Umbridge asked despite herself.

"The bastard colonel of mine. He took naps when he was supposed to work, and flirted with girls on the phone, and called me sh-shr-shr- _it_ all the time," Ed cursed himself silently.

"And this man was a colonel? This shows how inept you're government is," Umbridge said smugly.

"Actually, Amestris is a military dicatorship, so mostly it depends on how well you can fight and keep a cool head," Ed countered. _Damn, am I defending Colonel Bastard?_ he thought.

"Even if it is military dictatorship, this colonel of yours still doesn't do a good job."

"Then explain how he was able to defeat the Furher, our president, when we realized that he was on the other side. Furher, King Bradley, was an accomplished fighter, specializing in swords. Or explain how he was able to fly up the ranks so fast."

"It must have been luck, he must have had luck to defeat such a person. He must have connections to the higher-ups to fly up the ranks so fast."

"Hmph, as if. All the higher-ups hated him for getting promotions so fast and being the youngest colonel in the history of Amestris," Ed smirked.

Umbridge, unable to find a response, just stuck her nose in the air and turned her heel.

"I'll be watching you, Elric," Umbridge hissed before she walked out the door.

* * *

"Who's that?"

"There's no way he could be a teacher. He's way too short. He looks like he's 12! Or maybe 15, but that's stretching it."

"So then why is he sitting at the Staff Table?"

"I don't know! Wait till Dumbledore says."

Al noticed that Ed's veins twitched a lot these days.

"Calm down brother, you don't want to make a scene here."

"Yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to listen to them talking about your height."

McGonagall came through the large double doors and brought out the old stool and battered Sorting Hat. She placed the worn hat on the stool leaving the Elric's to wonder what on earth she was doing. Or perhaps if she was insane. It was a possibility. Theeen the hat's large rip began to stretch wide, leading to a gaping Ed.

"Someone must have stuck a soul to that hat!" he whispered excitedly. "I have got to look at it sometime!"

"It's the first time since Lab 5 that I saw someone like me," Al said thoughtfully. "I wonder what he thinks about living as a hat. As much as I didn't like living as a suit, at least I could move with freedom."

As soon as they were done with the sorting and the singing and all that good stuff, the Headmaster rose to greet the students before the start of term feast.

"To our newcomers, welcome. To our old hands, welcome back. There is time for speech making but this is not it. Tuck in!" Dumbledore said with a beaming smile and arms stretched wide.

"Excellent!" Ed said as he seized the nearest plate of chops and began piling them on to his plate. Soon, a mountain taller than he was had formed on the plate and Ed dug in happily.

"I've noticed you eat less than before I got my body back, your theory about you growing and eating and sleeping for my body must be true," Al said. He glanced at Ed. "Maybe the eating part was wrong, since you're practically inhaling the food!"

At that time, the ghosts of Hogwarts floated in.

"No way..." Al muttered, momentarily forgetting about Ed's eating habits.

"It can't be..." Ed said as the drumstick he was holding fell on to his plate. They recognized one of the pearly silver ghosts that floated through the wall. They remembered crying at his grave when he died. They remembered all the times they complained about his happy-go-lucky attitude. And most of all, Edward remembered the ghost of his figure waving good bye at the train station.

"Hi ya boys! There's a face I thought I'd never see again, Ed! Who's the guy you're with?" a ghost with glasses and - now silver- spiky hair said popping up and startling the brothers.

"Is that you, Hughes?" Al asked, bewildered.

"Eh? You know me?" Hughes said, rubbing his chin and cocking his head.

"It's Al! How the hell were you in the investigations department, and can't even tell who he is?" Ed said, picking up his chicken again. He grumbled darkly at Hughes about not even asking how they were. Or something of those lines...maybe a bit more _colorful_.

"Are you a ghost or something?" Al asked.

"Yep! I'm a ghost here, I haven't been around for a while, been doing some errand. But it's me flesh and blood, well maybe not flesh and blood, but ghost...stuff. By the way..." Hughes said looking serious.

"Yeah?"

"Look at Elysia's swimsuit edition, new and improved! The picture moves now, because Dumbledore was so nice as to give me a potion that allows pictures to move!" Hughes said grinning like a maniac. Ed and Al sweat-dropped at that.

"Jeez, Hughes, I thought it was something important!" Ed said.

"How is Elysia not important? She's so cute! Look how adorable she is! So you two got your bodies back?" Hughes said as he shoved Elysia's picture under Al's face.

"Not exactly. Brother still has automail. Well, it turned into prosthetics in this world, but then when we got on to the school grounds, it changed back to automail," Al said.

"So how are Elysia and Gracia and Mustang, did he get to be Fuhrer yet?" Hughes asked, taking another picture and shoving it in to Ed's face this time.

"Last time we checked, he was an enlisted man, but with the stubbornness of Colonel, he'll probably become the Furher by the time we figure out a way to get back home. Elysia and Gracia are fine, Winry has been keeping them company ever since you...you know, died. Winry's like the older sister Elysia never had," Ed said, trying in vain to shove the picture out of his face, and finally ignoring it.

"An enlisted man! How did that happen?" Hughes asked.

"Well, he beat Bradley, who was a homunculus--"

"I figured that out, he could have flown to the top with the information I had the night that I died, but nooo, he wouldn't pick up the phone!" Hughes said.

"Yeah, well, he was Pride and Mustang beat him, and he realized how much damage his alchemy caused in the Ishbalan war and demoted himself. But right before we left Amestris, he was back to his old bastard self."

"Hey, if you're here as a ghost, did anyone else who died also get turned in to a ghost, that we know, of course," Al asked.

"Sadly, no one" Hughes sighed.

"Darn, I thought maybe if Izumi or someone was here, we could ask her about some stuff, without getting beaten up," Ed added, shivering about the beating up part.

"Gracia's apple pie was so delicious, I wish I had another chance to taste it," Hughes sighed, changing the subject, as Ed took a bite out of a slice apple pie.

"You mean you can't eat?" Al asked.

"No." After talking a bit more, the feast ended and Dumbledore stood up.

"Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start of term notices. First years ought to know that the Forbidden Forest in the grounds is out of bounds to students and a few of our older students ought to know by now, too. Mr. Filch has asked me for the, four hundred and sixty second time, to remind you that magic is not permitted in the corridors. We have three changes in staffing this year, We are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be taking Care of Magical Creature lessons, we are also delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, and finally, Professor Ed Elric and Professor Al Elric who will be teaching a new course, Alchemy," Dumbledore said.

There was a polite but slightly enthusiastic applause, mostly from the girls who were gushing how cute the Elric brothers were.

"Tryouts for the house Quidditch teams will take place on the--"

"_Hem Hem" _Umbridge said standing up and clearing her throat.

"Thank you, Headmaster, for those kind words of welcome. Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts I must say! And to see such happy little faces looking up at me! I am very looking forward to getting to know you all and I'm sure we'll be very good friends!_ Hem hem..._" Umbridge simpered.

"Al, when is she going to shut up? This is so boring," Ed whispered.

"You should be more polite, she's of higher ranking than you," Al said, frowning at his brother.

"Well that doesn't matter, because I am not part of the military any more," Ed said.

"Another reason to be more respectful. You're a civilian now, which means you need to listen to her," Al said.

"Who's side are you on?" Ed said, pouting.

"I just don't want to be pulled into another political mess, one is enough."

"Well it wasn't my fault, it was all Dante and the homunculi, and Mustang, now that I think about it."

"How is it Mustang's fault?" Hughes asked.

"Well he was the one to first recruit me wasn't he?"

"You always blame it on other people, brother. It was our fault for sending the letter to him when Mom died, and when we did the transmutation on Mom, he became interested in our alchemy powers," Al said, shaking his head.

"No, it's Hohenhiem's fault for leaving us, and that's what caused Mom to die," Ed spat.

"Are any homunculi still alive? And who were the other ones?" Hughes asked, trying to shift the conversation into something he could actually understand.

"Only one is still alive, it's Envy, the one that can shape-shift, we found out that he was our brother at one point. Lust and Wrath, who was Izumi's child, turned good in the end, Pride was the Furher. Greed was just a guy we accidentally let loose back in Lab 5. And Sloth was the Mom that we transmuted," Ed said ending quietly.

"Envy was the one who killed me," Hughes said. Ed smiled sadly.

"We'll kill him for you." There was a slow applause that signaled the end of Umbridge's boring speech.

"Well, that was boring," Ed said, propping his head on his arm. As if he even listened to one word.

"If you were listening, you'd know that they're saying that the Ministry is interfering with Hogwarts," Hughes said, shaking his head, putting his hands on his hips.

"So they're infiltrating this school?"

"Put in military terms, yes,"

"Kind of like the way Pride and Sloth infiltrated the military huh? But they're being so much more blunt about it, I mean, they're telling all the students, staff, even Dumbledore about it," Al said, looking thoughtful.

"Heh, I knew we should never trust the government. They are just a bunch of corrupt people looking for power...no offense Hughes," Ed said.

"None taken, but I bet most people will agree with you, only people _in_ the military would disagree, after all, State Alchemists are called dogs of the military. They'll do anything to get power," Hughes sighed.

"...Amestris, his name is Nicholas Flamel and I'll be inviting him later this year..." Dumbledore said.

"Hey, Hughes, Dumbledore mentioned him before, do you know who he is?" Al asked.

"Hmm...Flamel, I don't know that name, but there is a chance that it's an alias," Maes said, rubbing his chin. "Just like Riza uses Elizabeth when she's not in office and talking on the phone with the Colonel. Jean uses Jaqueline, Vato is Vanessa, Cain is Kate, and Breda doesn't have one."

There was a loud clattering and battering, obviously Dumbledore just dismissed everyone.

"So that's who Mustang always talks to when he's on the phone!" Ed said. "I thought he was always talking to his new girlfriend that he stole from Havoc or somebody. I bet they all hate their names."

"Mustang's smarter than that, he divides his work and is women well. Of course, he does get out of the military early during evenings to go out with Havoc's new girlfriend. And yes. They all hate their names...especially Vato," Hughes laughed.

"That's true. Just like that flower girl that Havoc liked that went to the play with Mustang," Ed laughed.

"Oh? What happened to Havoc afterwards?" Hughes asked, curiously.

"Well Mustang noticed he was depressed and tried to get Falman to set him up because apparently what Havoc does shows as what Mustang does, and he needs that promotion doesn't he. And guess what, Armstrong offered to set him up with his sister, Catherine. But Catherine turned him down and he became really out of it."

"Hahaha, somehow, I'm not very surprised ol' Mustang did that," Hughes laughed heartily.

* * *

Meanwhile in Amestris:

"Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!"

"General? Are you getting sick?" Hawkeye asked.

"I bet that someone's talking about a handsome fellow like me, that's all," Roy grinned.

"You better start on that paperwork," Hawkeye said raising her gun to inspect it, but at the same time adding a little threat.

"Yes ma'am." Roy quickly said as he leaned forward to sign his illegible signature on. "I just wonder where Fullmetal disappeared off to, he's making me sign all these damn papers."

Hawkeye smiled softly, knowing Roy was hiding how desperate he was to find the two Elric boys.

"Mustang, you know them better than that, they'll be all right, they always have been."

"Ha ha ha, yeah, they crossed the Gate, alchemy doesn't work on that side, how much trouble could they be in? But without alchemy, they can't get back..." Roy said, leaning back.


	3. Chapter 3

**Eeeeek, sorry for those that thought this was a new chapter, but the last line in this chapter wasn't supposed to be there...heh heh... I used to have it there...but I changed it since I thought that it wouldn't be good if he was convincing the students not to do human transmutation...and he did do it...I decided to have a vote, if Ed and Al should do human transmutation on Hughes or not, remember to vote**

Ed sighed, did they really have to get up so early? And on top of that, Potter was having an argument with his friends.

"Been having a nice chat with her about whether I'm an attention seeking prat or not, have you." Harry spat acidly.

"Shut up! I'm not in the mood for this," Ed moaned.

"You never were much of a morning person," Al laughed.

"Let's just get some breakfast, Al," Ed said. Ed trudged up to the staff table, with Al following. To their delight, but certainly not to to the students, Hughes decided to stay behind and show the Golden Trio pictures, of what else? Elysia.

"Isn't she so adorable? And look at this one, she's on a pony in this picture! Imagine that, my daughter who was only 3 years old and she's riding a pony," Hughes gushed. "I bet she'll become a horse rider person...-er!"

Ed sunk into his chair as Dumbledore walked to them.

"Ah, hello there, Ed, Al," Dumbledore said greeting them, "If you want to, you may attend the classes anytime you don't have to teach, there might be something useful that you can use. Or of course, which I suspect would be your main reason, you would be attending them "

"Thank you, Dumbledore," Ed said, nodding.

"Wow, that has to be the first time I've ever seen you be polite," Hughes joked as he returned.

"So what, are you going to be haunting us or something?" Ed asked angrily, grabbing a pitcher at random and pouring it into his cup.

"Aaaah!" Everyone in the Great Hall turned that way.

"Brother! What's wrong?" Al asked, quickly.

"I nearly drank milk!" Ed gasped. Everyone sweat dropped.

"That's it?" Al asked shaking his head. His brother got excited over the oddest things.

"What?! I'll never drink any liquid secreted from an animal, especially when it's from a cow," Ed said, taking Al's cup of pumpkin juice and switching it with his milk filled cup.

"You'll never grow that way," Hughes tutted, winking.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BEANSPROUT??" Ed huffed, growing red and trying to tackle Hughes. Al sighed and shook his head. He quickly grabbed ahold of his brother's collar to prevent Ed from losing balance and toppling over.

"You needn't do that, Al, with his head full of hot air, he'll keep his balance!" Hughes goaded joyfully.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Ed blew up and commenced once again to tackle Hughes.

* * *

"Why' are the Professors Elric in here?" Hermione whispered to Harry and Ron outside the Potion's room.

Snape came and opened the door. The queue outside the dungeon door entered, and Snape closed the door behind them.

"Settle down, and what are you doing in here, Edward, Alphonse?" he said coldly.

"We'll we're searching for a way to get back home aren't we? We figured that Potions and Ancient Runes would are the closest to alchemy. And also Defense Against the Dark Arts to protect ourselves from magic; we've never had experience with it," Ed said. Ed's mouth twitched in a smirk as he thought, _Plus, I hate you, you old bat, so I'm going to give you the worst year you'll ever experience!_

"...Of course. Let's see what you know so far. Where would you find a bezoar?" Snape asked. Hermione shot her hand up as soon as he finished the question.

"A goat's stomach," Al answered.

"What plant's root is used in Draught of Living Death?"

"Asphodel. You got anything harder? These are too easy." Hermione faltered for a second as she heard Ed's comment. This potion was N.E.W.T standard. The fact that Ed memorized the ingredients to this potion gave her a new reason to fawn over him...Not that she needed another reason.

"Too easy? Well then name all the ingredients in the Polyjuice Potion," Snape sneered. Hermione put her hand down, ashamed. How was somebody supposed to remember all of the ingredients? That's the point

"Lacewing flies stewed 21 days, leeches, powdered bicorn horn, knotgrass, fluxweed picked at full moon, shredded boomslang skin, a bit of who you want to turn in to...preferably not toenails..." Ed answered.

"What potion is golden colored?"

"Well actually, there's quite a few, the most common one is Felix Felices." Al supplied. Snape turned away, angered that Ed and Al answered every question correctly.

"Before we begin today's lesson, I think it appropriate to remind you that next June, you will be sitting an important examination. Moronic though some of this class are, I expect you to scrape an 'Acceptable' in you OWL, or suffer my...displeasure," Snape said. As he continued on with his lecture, Ed began to stop paying as much attention.

"Today we will be mixing a potion that often comes up at Ordinary Wizarding Level: the Draught of Peace, a potion to calm anxiety and sooth agitation. Be warned: if you are too heavy handed with the ingredients, you will put the drinker into a heavy and sometimes irreversible sleep, so you will need to pay close attention," Snape said.

Although the students seemed to think that this potion was difficult, to the Elric brothers, this was a simple matter of alchemy.

"Brother, we need to add hellebore too!" Al said.

"You're supposed to add that later, near the end of the potion," Hermione corrected, glancing up from her cauldron.

"No, we're using alchemy to do this," Ed said, adding two drops of syrup of hellebore. "You busy at the moment?"

Hermione checked back at the pages of her book and shook her head. She was excited, finally getting to see a bit of alchemy.

"Okay, then watch this. This is an example of alchemy, want to do the honors, Al?" Ed asked.

Al nodded and clapped his hands. He placed them on the edge of the cauldron. There was a large flash of blue light. As soon as the light disappeared, Hermione gasped. In the place of the ingredients for this potion, was exactly what the blackboard described as the finished product.

"How did you do that?" Hermione said, as she waited for her potion to finish simmer.

Ed smiled mysteriously and said, "You'll find out about that in Alchemy class."

"Those of you who have managed tor read the instructions, fill one flagon with a sample of your potion, label it clearly with your name and bring it up to my desk for testing, homework twelve inches of parchment on the properties of moonstone and its uses in potion making, to be handed in on Thursday, I expect you Elrics to have it too," Snape said. Ed glared at him.

* * *

"Hello, Professors Elric. I am Bathsheda Babbling, the teacher of Ancient Runes," a portly old lady said, nodding at them. "This year, we will be spending most of our time looking at the different magical symbols instead of the actual words on ruins as we have not covered this. The Ministry has added this new part to the O.W.L.s. This is most likely to be a little less then half of your O.W.L.s."

Hermione gasped. This meant she only had a year to study and master portion! This was her worst nightmare!

"Most symbols are in the era of alchemy. Ever since somebody figured a way to transfer our magical power in to a wand, they have stopped using symbols, mostly due to the part that it would require less ruins to memorize," she said with a nod to Ed and Al.

"Guess we came at the perfect year," Ed muttered.

"We'll start with these," Professor Babbling waved her wand and a miniature model of the Stonehenge.

"Muggles have always been fascinated by the the Stonehenge was built, but we know that by looking at some of the symbols that it says 'gorr mannligr.' Can anyone tell me what that means? Hermione." she asked.

"It means 'made human,' literally or in more recognizable terms, a man-made human."

Ed and Al exchanged a surprised glance. That meant that homunculi were already made back in 3100 B.C. in this side of the Gate. That was quite a shock.

"Correct, take 20 points. Now it the only way they could have made this stand up on it's own without wands back then was using an array, using the alchemic term, and making a support to push it up. As there is no written account of how the Stonehenge was made on the stones, we can assume that there are eight pillars, seven on the middle circle connected at the top by another stone and one in the middle. On each of the seven, there are words etched in."

She zoomed in on the model and made the view go in a circle to show the different carvings.

"Can anybody what these say? " she asked. "Terry?"

"In order of what you showed us, Fyst, Elska, Eta, Ogleoi, Moor, Agirni, and Ofsi. Translated, they are desire, love, eat, sadness, wrath, greed, and pride."

"I don't believe it..." Ed muttered, leaning forward to stare at the moving model of the Stonehenge more intently.

"What's wrong dear?" Babbling asked, worried.

"They are the seven sins... Desire can be translated to envy, wanting something he doesn't have. Love equals lust, gluttony is the sin that involves over eating, the sin sloth used to be sadness, and wrath, greed, and pride are self-explanatory," Al said.

"...Yes well, there are also what seems to be tombstones in front of these stones..." Babbling said nervously, staring at Ed and Al. "At least there are names on them, in front of each in the order, are William Corsair, Heather Valentine, Brandon Eith, Trisha Ellie, James Curtis, Pete Sone, and Salem Bradley. And in the middle, the stone is engraved with a S.S."

Ed and Al exchanged a glance again, from what they could tell there had to be homunculi at one point in this world. The bell rang to alert the students from their confused looks at Ed and Al.

* * *

The Harry and Ron entered the Alchemy classroom after Divination to find the two brothers talking with each other, with Hermione enthusiastically adding a few comments here and there. On the board, there was a list of three things in barely legible messy scrawl.

_Never attempt human transmutation_

_Never transmute animals _

_Never attempt to transmute a Philosopher's Stone_

There's was also a tiny scrawl that said: _Never call me short! Ever!!_

Soon, the bell rang.

"Well, let's start, does any one know the difference between alchemy and magic is?" Ed said.

"There isn't really any difference is there? Or else why would you teach it at a _magic_ school?" a boy with platinum blond hair sneered.

"It's considered a science, Mr. Malfoy" Ed said. The boy reminded Ed of Mustang and his snooty disposition and that certainly is not a good thing. It usually involved someone's ass getting kicked, usually, the look/act a like.

"Who can tell me what a transmutation is? Miss Granger?" Al asked.

"To transmute something is to alter an object's form, nature, substance, or state into another," Hermione recited, remembering this little tidbit from the dictionary she read years ago. She never thought she needed to remember it!

"Correct. Take 10 points. Now to do a transmutation, you need a transmutation circle, the most basic one looks like this," Al drew a square within a circle.

"Any questions so far?" Al asked. Nobody raised their hands.

"It's taking an object with one element and changing it into another object with the same element. For example paper can only be transmuted into another an object with elements the same as paper. It's also alchemy's first law, Equivalent Exchange," Ed said as he placed a hand on the circle that Al drew. There was a flash of light and the piece of paper turned in to a thin piece of wood.

"You can, however, change something into something that makes it, or combine more than one thing to make something else. You can transmute glass into silicon dioxide," Al said as he drew a circle on to a glass cup on his desk. There was a pile of silicon dioxide in its place.

"Yeah, you did that in potions too, Al just clapped his hands and put them on the cauldron," Hermione added.

"Good question, so rock is made out of minerals, and the minerals in this stone has the same properties has the mineral's in metal. And you have to be an advanced alchemist to be able to clap your hands and transmute something," Ed lied with ease.

The Gryffindors looked impressed at the fact that both of their teachers, although young, were already advanced alchemists. The Slytherins on the other hand, looked skeptically at him.

"This is so boring," Malfoy whispered loudly.

"Be happy you're not learning the way we did. We had to learn it ourselves from that book on your table right now. Did you even understand a word of it, really?" Ed asked glaring.

"No, but what does that matter?"

"Ed, don't forget those years with Master," Al shivered.

"Oh yeah, did you have a crazy teacher who tried to beat you up just for joining the military? And when she was testing to see if we were apprentice material, she made us stay on a deserted island for a whole month with a crazy dog man...thing and wolves. Wolves that can bite an arm off," Ed said.

"They weren't that bad! ...they just left a scar...a very big one..." Al said

"But still, what's the point of this class? We're wizards, we don't need to follow this equivalent exchange thing," Malfoy sneered.

"You might not now, but what happens if your wand gets stolen, or if it gets destroyed? What will you do then? It's not like you have the physical strength to fight an adult when he is stronger and has a wand with him," Ed said.

"It's not like you can, either."

A voice laughed at that. Ed jumped, as did the rest of the class plus Al. Ed turned around to find Hughes.

"Edward here has fought seven homunculi, which are immortal beings, with really creepy powers, and this guy we call Scar, although he beat Ed up, but then again, he killed hundreds of military officers, didn't you, to make the...thing. And you know, for a boy who went through all that still gets a _little_ scared because we pop up," Maes said.

"Hughes, shut up before I find a way to kill you again!" Ed said, eyes glittering.

"Well, we'll just have to wait won't we, besides, I'm of a higher rank than you, I'm a Lieutenant Colonel, aren't I, Major Elric?" Maes said grinning.

"You _know_, we're supposed to be teaching brother!" Al said, frowning at his brother and the two ghosts.

"Huh? Oh yeah. So the basic strength of a transmutation circle is the nature of the shape itself. The circle represents the circulation of power. By drawing it, that power can be evoked, kind of like the way you need wands. By understanding this circulation of power and the laws that govern it, you can harness it for yourself. Alchemists work within this system of flow to create new things," Ed recited, remembering what their teacher had said.

"Now, about the rules I wrote, never do them, if you do, I will personally give you a beating even worse than the one teacher gave us after she found out," Ed said with dangerous, but sad eyes.

"The first one, human transmutation. Only two people in the entire history of alchemy ever actually managed to successfully do it. Everyone else lost limbs, organs, or even their lives. And those that survive, they have to deal with a living nightmare," Al said. Hughes looked at the ground sadly.

"So, then what is it?" Lavender Brown asked timidly.

"Bringing back the dead," Ed said, without emotion, but his eyes showed despair. "Life flows only in one direction, if you mess with it, you'll find yourself with the body of a sinner. Unless you have a Philosopher's Stone, never do it, understand? "

Harry narrowed his eyes. The brothers mentioned bringing back the dead again. They themselves said it was possible, so he needed to find the right circle thing and figure out what the human body was made of. If he did that, he would be able to see his parents again and alive, this time, not just in some mirror. He was snapped out of his fantasizing of life with parents when Ed began to talk again.

"The second rule, no making chimeras. In our world, chimeras are anyone or animal with more than one set of DNA, a combination of two creatures."

"Once you make a chimera, it's impossible to separate the two, without killing them," Al said. Ed looked at the ground sadly, remembering Nina.

"The last rule, not to transmute a Philosopher's Stone, I won't tell you why. But I'll say, that when the time comes, you'll learn the truth behind the truths." Al said cryptically, remembering what Dr. Marcoh had said.

"Your homework is going to be to solve this riddle, 'All is one, and one is all.' You have a week to solve it, but no giving others the answer, you can help each other though," Al said.

"Trust me, we'll know," Ed said evilly as the bell rang signaling the end of class.

"Oh? And how will we know," Al asked, smirking.

"Because...I'm psychic! Anyway why did you only give the class a week to figuren the riddle out?" Ed said.

"Well, we had to fight Mason on Yock Island, make shelter, and find food, so they have to do less than we do. What'd you think about the class?" Al asked.

"I think I never want to teach any more," Ed sighed.

"Too bad, Eddy! You'll have to keep this up for the rest of the year! But maybe this will cheer you up! Look, it's Elysia and daddy playing with a ball!" Maes said.

Ed gave a small smile, _Yep, same old Hughes._

"Al, do you really think that we'll have to tell them about the Philosopher's Stone?" Ed asked.

"I hope not, but in case Envy thinks of something, we might," Al said.

* * *

"What'd you guys think about the Alchemy class?" Harry asked his two best friends.

"Ed certainly was...weird," Hermione said.

"Yeah, who would believe that a person got into the military when he was 18 years old?" Ron snorted.

"I believe him, and he'd have to get there before he was 15 years old because he's 18 now. But I think that he has the same eyes as you, like he has something in life that he has to do," Hermione said thoughtfully. There was a short pause.

"You like him don't you?" Harry said growled. Hermione blushed.

"No, I don't," she immediately defended... a bit too quickly.

"First Viktor Krum, and now a teacher," Ron spat.

"I don't like him," Hermione protested.

"Hermione, I think he's with Voldemort," Harry said, sincerely worried about his friend.

"What do you mean? He's a perfectly good teacher,"Hermione turned even redder, this time from anger.

"I dunno, he's just suspicious," Harry said. "It's impossible to bring anybody back to life, or else Dumbledore would have brought Cedric back to life last year."

"I wonder if Professor Umbridge is any good," Hermione wondered out loud trying to change the subject.

"She can't be, she's part of the Ministry, and they obviously don't want to believe the Voldemort's back, so then they won't teach us anything worth while," Harry said darkly.

When they entered the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, they found Professor Umbridge already seated at the teacher's desk and the Elrics with the ghost from earlier. Hermione walked up to the crazy ghost that was showing pictures of his daughter to them that morning.

"Hello, we've never had a chance to meet each other properly. I'm Hermione Granger, who are you?"

"Hi, there, I'm Maes Hughes. Don't you think my daughter is so adorable?" Hughes gushed, shoving a picture of Elysia at her. Hermione laughed awkwardly.

"Well, good afternoon!" Umbridge said, when the whole class finally sat down.

A few people mumbled 'good afternoon' in reply.

"Tut tut, That won't do, now, will it? I would like you, please, to reply 'Good afternoon Professor Umbridge.' One more time, please. Good afternoon class!" Umbridge said.

"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge," was chanted back to her a tad reluctantly if anything.

"Now, now, while you are in my class to learn, I expect you to listen and follow what I say, Edward, Alphonse, and you ghost too," Umbridge said.

Hughes glanced at Ed and Al for a second before floating past Umbridge, and out the blackboard.

"Hey! You were supposed- Ugh, never mind," Ed grumbled.

"As I was saying, I expect you to treat me with respect," Umbridge said.

"Sorry, Professor, but that's considered respect in my brother's part. Trust me, there have been worse times, like in Colonel Mustang's office, he would always end up nearly destroying it, if it wasn't for Hawkeye threatening to shoot him with her gun," Al said.

"That was only once!" Ed said.

"No, every time he called you short or mentioned the word little, you would throw a tantrum," Al corrected.

"Wands away, and quills out," Umbridge said, before Ed could retort, deciding he was a lost cause.

Seconds ago, the class was exchanging odd looks toward the Elric brothers, but now they were exchanging gloomy looks. They never had a class where 'wands away' was followed by an interesting class, as demonstrated by Lockhart's classes...and Binn's...and so many more. Umbridge took out her own wand (what a hypocrite!) and tapped the blackboard sharply with it. Words appeared on the board:

_Defence Against the Dark Arts  
A Return to Basic Principles _

"Your teaching in this subject is rather disrupted and fragmented, with the constant changing of teachers. Many of whom, have not appeared to follow any Ministry approved curriculum. It has resulted in your being far behind in the standard of the OWL year." She tapped the board sharply with her wand again.

_Course Aims  
1. Understanding the principles underlying the defensive magic  
2. Learning to recognize situations in which defensive magic can be legally used  
3__. Placing the use of defensive magic in a context for practical use._

For a couple of minutes the room was full of the sound of scratching quills on parchment.

"Has everybody got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?" Umbridge asked as soon as everybody copied it the course aims down. A dull murmur of assent throughout the class.

"I think we'll try that again. When I ask you a question, I should like you to reply, 'Yes, Professor Umbridge,' or 'No, Professor Umbidge.' So has everyone got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"

"Yes, Professor Umbridge," rang through out the room.

Both of the brothers noticed from the corner of their eyes that Hermione, who they had heard couldn't stop herself from opening a book, hadn't even touched her copy. She was staring fixedly at professor Umbridge with her hand in the air. When more than half the class was looking at her than at their book Umbridge decided that she couldn't ignore the situation anymore.

"Do you want to ask me something about the chapter, dear?" she asked sweetly.

"Not about the chapter, no."

"Well, we're reading just now, if you have any other queries, we can deal with them at the end of class."

"I have a question about your course aims," Hermione said, ignoring Umbridge.

"What is your name?"

"Hermione Granger."

"Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully," Professor Umbridge said with sweetness that was all to fake. Kind of like Splenda (no offense to Splenda likers!)

"Well, I don't. There's nothing written about using defensive spells," Hermione said bluntly.

_Heh, so I'm not the only one who noticed that, _Ed thought, smirking.

"Using defensive spells? Why, I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?" Umbridge said with a little laugh.

"Professor Umbridge,-"

"Raise your hand when you speak, Mr?" Umbridge asked.

"Weasley," Ron said as he thrust his hand into the air.

"Yes, Miss Granger. You wanted to add something?"

"Yes. Isn't the whole point of Defence Against the Dark Arts to practice defensive spells?"

"Are you a Ministry trained educational expert, Miss Granger?" Umbridge asked in her false sweet voice.

"No, but-"

"Well then, I'm afraid you are not qualified to decide what the 'whole point' of any class is. Wizards much older and cleverer than you have devised our new program of study. You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way," Umbridge said.

"Yes, Mr. Elric?" Umbridge asked with a slightly forced sweetness in her voice.

"Nobody expects to be attacked. But you always have to be on your guard, and having a stock of defensive spells that you know how to use helps, for wizards, that is. When you get attacked or threatened, that sure as hell isn't risk-free," Ed said.

"Yeah, you need to be on your guard all the time when you're in the military, especially when Scar was running around killing State Alchemists," Hughes said as he popped his head back in.

"Maes?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up and go away!"

"What? A _short _visit is too much for you?" Hughes said, pretending to be hurt. He cradled the area where his heart was supposed to be with fake sadness.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHRIMP SO SMALL, YOU COULDN'T SEE HIM AMONG ATOMS?" Ed yelled. "You spent too much time with Mustang."

"What a _short_ temper you got there, Eddy," Hughes said.

A vein pulsed in Ed's head. He clapped his hands. Immediately, spikes aimed at Hughes sprung out of the ground. The class sweat dropped, they were along the same lines: _Our alchemy teacher is _that_ sensitive about his height?_

"And _that_, brother, is _exactly_ how you always mess up Colonel's office," Al said with raised eyebrows.

"He called me short!" Ed protested.

"But you didn't have to attack him," Al said, sighing.

"Are you agreeing with him?" Ed asked dangerously.

"No, but you didn't have to do that," Al said quickly.

"Good. Anyway, it wouldn't have hurt him, he's a ghost," Ed grumbled. "You know, I wish I could find a way to kill someone that is already dead."

"Ed, are you talking about me? I'm so hurt," Hughes said, pouting.

"Now really, this is a classroom, and I'm trying to teach!" Umbridge yelled.

Ed looked around, apparently forgetting that Umbridge was teaching, er, attempting to teach the students. They were much to interested in the argument between the ghost and the brothers.

"Now, let's continue our discussion before we were so _rudely_ interrupted," Umbridge said sweetly. "As I was saying, there is no need to practice defensive spells in class, as long as you study the theory well enough, you can do it no problem."

"That's if you don't freeze up in front of danger," Ed said.

"Oh, and where's the danger?" Umbridge asked, smiling a smile that came out more as a grimace.

"Out in the world, have you been too wrapped up in your Ministry job, you haven't even noticed that people die out there? It doesn't matter if Lord Idiot is back or not. There's always the possibility that another Dark Wizard stronger than him will pop up. Or even if you meet some drunk guy some where, and he happens to know some Dark Magic, you're in trouble if you don't learn the stuff," Ed growled.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione exchanged glances. That was exactly what they thought the Ministry was doing. Apparently their Alchemy teacher knew more than he let on...most of the time.

"Yeah, like Ced--," Harry said.

"Your hand is not up! Mr. Diggory's death was a tragic accident. Let me make some things clear. You have been told that a certain Dark Wizard has returned from the dead--" Umbridge said, her voice trembling.

"He wasn't dead, but yeah, he's returned!" Harry said angrily.

"Detention, Mr. Potter! Tomorrow evening. Five o'clock. My office. I repeat, this is a lie. The ministry believes, and is correct, that this Dark wizard is dead and will not be reborn," Umbridge said triumphantly.

"It's possible to be reborn, but into another person," Al said quietly, remembering Sloth and the horror they had created that night.

"Didn't the Ministry believe that their is no such thing as wandless magic too?" Ed asked pointedly. "And isn't alchemy considered magic by you people?"

"I expect to see you too, tomorrow night, for detention. While, I do accept your ability to perform alchemy, it isn't magic, it follows equivalent exchange. And someone can't be reborn into another person," Umbridge said.

"Even if they can't, that doesn't mean for sure that Voldemort didn't come back!" Harry yelled.

"That is enough!" Umbridge shouted. "I've said it already, alchemy is not magic! And Voldemort most defenitely is _dead_."

"...Have you ever heard of a homunculus?" Ed asked, seemingly randomly. It was quite scary, the way his voice was so calm after Umbridge's shouting.

"Homunculus? I don't believe I have," Umbridge sneered.

"A homunculus is someone who's dead, and is brought back using alchemy, they're souless beings. That Voldemort person of yours could easily be one," Ed said.

"Come here Potter," Umbridge said after a second of looking blank. She took out a small roll of pink parchment, and scribbled something on it. When she was finished, she gave it to Harry, "Take this to Professor McGonagall, dear. You go along with him, Elric."

The two of them walked out of the room, without looking back at their friend, slamming the door shut, especially loudly with the use of Ed's automail. Harry clutched the note tightly, and turned a corner walking straight into Peeves.

"Why, it's Potty Wee Potter, and little Elric lad!" Peeves cacked.

"Who are you calling a PIPSQUEAK!!" Ed yelled, eyes glittering dangerously. He slapped his hands together and spikes shot up from the ground coming very close to hitting Peeves.

"What on earth are you shouting about, Edward?" Professor McGonagall said.

"We've been sent to see you," Harry said stiffly.

"Sent? What do you mean, _sent_?" McGonagall asked.

Harry handed her the note. She took it from him, frowning, slit it open with a tap of her wand, and began to read. Her eyes zoomed as she read what Umbridge had written. With each line, they became narrower.

"Come in here, Potter, Elric," McGonagall said. Ed looked a bit suprised at the use of his surname.

"Well, is it true?"

"Is what true? Professor?" Harry added in an attempt to sound more polite.

"Did you shout at Professor Umbridge, called her a liar, and told her He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back?" McGonagall asked.

"Yes."

"And did you claim that people can be reborn, shout at her, and interrupt her class, Elric?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Have a biscuit, you two," she said, sitting down. "You two need to be more careful. You know where she comes from, you must know to whom she is reporting. She doesn't care that you are from another country, or dimension, Edward. As long as you are here, you obey our laws. It says here she's given you, Harry, detention every evening this week starting tomorrow."

"Can you give a teacher detention?" Ed wondered aloud as they walked out of McGonagall's room.

"Brother! You could have held your temper!" Al said as he walked up behind him with Hughes floating behind him.

**Hahaha...Stonehenge part...I just couldn't sleep one night and started writing nonsense...and...I just kept it there...yeah...Well be happy this is one longer chapter, it would have been two short ones instead. And I want at least 3 more reviews before I post the next chapter please!  
**


	4. Chapter 4

"So what did Professor McGonnagal tell you?" Al asked worriedly as Harry and Ed approached them.

"Nothing, just the usual stay out of trouble that Mustang gives me," Ed said, brushing it off.

"But you never seem able to. I mean with the Tringham brothers, Psiren, that prophet dude in Lior, the homunculi..." Hughes got cut off by Ed.

"Shut up, Hughes! You've gotten even more annoying, not that I thought that was possible, but apparently you make everything possible!" Ed growled over Hughes long list.

"Hmmm, maybe you're right and I should stop the list. I mean, if I wanted to list all of the trouble you've gotten into, I would need more fingers...and a lot of them," Hughes said, glancing back and forth his left and right hands.

Ed groaned. _How the hell am I going to put up with this?_

Harry, meanwhile, was talking with Ron and Hermione, while keeping a close eye on Ed. There still was something that he didn't trust about him. Hermione noticed this, and whispered, "Really, Harry, don't you think that you're overreacting?"

"Hermione, do you really trust him? I mean, there's just something about him that makes you think that he's suspicious, or at least not telling us something," Harry sighed.

"Maybe he's got a good reason to hide it," Hermione hissed. "Like the way you don't go around shouting that you are the savior of the Wizarding World."

Ron, being the idiot he was, said suddenly, "Wow, I just realized, this is the only time when the two of you are fighting and I'm not." He stood there looking particularly pleased with himself while Harry and Hermione raised an eyebrow each at him.

He blushed and asked, "Whaaat?"

"What kind of secret is good enough to hide now of all times, with the Ministry, and especially with Voldemort back?" Harry countered, as he got over Ron's randomness.

"I don't know, something like...well I don't know, but you could be a little more trusting."

"Ha, trusting, I trusted Moody last year, look where it got me. I trust Scabbers in our third year, Sirius nearly got Kissed. I trusted the Riddle's diary in our second year, all the Muggle borns, including you, nearly got killed. I trust Quirrel in our first year, Voldemort nearly got the Philosopher's Stone," Harry hissed. Out of habit, as soon as Harry mentioned the words 'Philosopher's Stone', Ed's ears were perked at their conversation.

"...You felt that you had to put a diary and a rat in that list..." Hermione blinked.

"Well, I trusted them and that didn't work out very well did it?" Harry hissed.

"Fine, I'll give you my list. In our first year, we didn't trust Snape, he saved you. Second year, Dobby, you didn't trust him, but last year, he gave you the key to the second task. Third year, Sirius, he turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. Fourth year, Karkaroff, he was innocent," Hermione argued, "And I didn't have to put a diary in it."

"Well you put a house-elf in it!" Harry said. "And you said that I shouldn't put a rat and a diary in his list."

"This is one of those times when house-elves are degraded by wizards! If you actually participated in S.P.E.W., you might have realized how much wizards depend on house-elves," Hermione said heatedly.

"Do you really think that we should be talking about S.P.E.W. right now?" Harry said.

"This is exactly what I mean when I say that house-elves are being taken for granted!" Hermione shouted. She turned on her heel and headed to exactly where she felt more comfortable...the library.

"Oooh, mate, bad idea getting her mad today, have you seen the pile of homework we've got?" Ron said. Harry sighed. He wasn't having a good day. He suddenly had the urge to hit Ron on his head.

* * *

"Envy, I have some information that might just be of use to you," Voldemort said to his new ally.

"It better be something useful, I'm not interested in your useless magic junk," Envy said. Scratch that, not exactly an ally, more of a master.

"I think it will, I heard from a reliable source that a man, no an alchemist, named Flamel has just arrived at Hogwarts, where the Elric brothers are teaching," Voldemort said, bowing.

He ground his teeth, he wasn't supposed to be the one bowing. He was supposed to be the one being bowed at! He calmed himself down and thought, _Relax, Voldemort, soon enough, we will be the ones in control._

"Hmm, interesting, Flamel, I know I've heard that name somewhere..." Envy muttered to himself.

_It has to be from Amestris. Dante must have told me something. No one else would know about him... I think. Lust, Gluttony, and Wrath didn't pay attention to the outside world. I've never really talked to Greed. Pride and Sloth might have met or heard of him before, but I don't remember them mentioning any alchemists besides the State ones and that Izumi woman. It has to be a competent alchemist, no one else would be able to cross the Gate. Probably someone we tried to get to make a Philosopher's Stone. Wait a minute...that can't be. But it's the only possibility...  
_

"Voldie, I'm going to be going for a while. I'll fly off to London and greet him," Envy said, smiling sadistically.

Voldemort flinched at the nickname Envy called him and the at smile. Mostly the nickname.

"Of course, may I ask, when will you be back?" he asked.

"I don't know, sometime next week, possibly," Envy said, as he changed into the large green dragon.

Voldemort grudgingly agreed that the dragon Envy became was fierce, beautiful, and most of all, deadly. Each scale reflected the light perfectly so it looked like Envy was carved out of emerald of the finest quality.

"Ah, to be able to shape-shift again. You can't possibly know how hard it was when I was stuck in this form," Envy growled out of jade green mouth to himself more than to Voldemort.

"You could just take a Portkey there," Voldemort said, pointint out the obvious.

"But then I couldn't frighten and kill some worthless people," Envy said, maliciously.

"...Of course," Voldemort said and that was that.

* * *

The story of Ed and Harry's shouting match with Umbridge led to a truly horrible afternoon, for Harry at least. Ed was far too popular, especially with girls, who had stopped the boys from saying anything. But there was the occasional person who didn't care that said, "Really, who'd believe that Professor Ed was in the military?" He would immediately shushed by the angry glares of fangirls.

Harry, who didn't have any girls who was totally in love with him, except for Ginny, but she didn't count, had to go through an entire afternoon listening to, "Psh, who'd believe that Voldemort actually came back?" or "Hmf, who is he kidding? We don't know what happened in the maze, his words are the only evidence we've got. He probably just wants more attention."

"What I don't get is why they believe Dumbledore when he said it at the feast two months ago," Harry growled, stabbing his turkey with much more venom that it deserved.

Hermione hmphed and turned away and became immersed in a conversation with Lavender and Pavarti.

"Well, as you all know, my friend Nicholas Flamel, is coming today...or was supposed to. He's a bit late apparently," Dumbledore said, glancing at that odd watch that he had.

Just then, the doors creaked open and revealed a man there. He said, "Aaaaah, sorry I'm late, Dumbledore. I had some business to take care of first."

Ed blinked, thinking that his eyes were being weird. He stared for a second before he shouted, "YOU BASTARD!"

He stood up, eyes raging furiously, and slapped his hands on the table.

There was a pause in conversations as everybody turned to look at the man. It was a man with golden hair and eyes, quite like Ed's own. He also had his hair in a pony tail with glasses. He was wearing a white shirt with a black tie underneath his black vest and brown coat.

"Edward? Have you...grown bigger?" he asked, cocking his head slightly.

"Arrgh! Why did you phrase it as a question?" Ed growled.

"You seem to have gotten quite a reputation in Central. The smallest State Alchemist in history ever," he said.

"It's youngest! Grrrrr!" Ed muttered.

"Van...Hohenheim?" Al gasped, getting over the shock that 'Flamel' was his dad.

"You bastard, you still have time to show up here, in another world and you didn't even have to time to show up at Mom's funeral?" Ed hissed.

"What in the blue blazes are you addressing your parent as a 'bastard' for?" Hohenheim asked blankly.

"You're not just any bastard, you're _the_ bastard. Mom died because of shit like you. You made her go through a lot of hardships!" Ed yelled.

The students were exchanging odd looks at their teacher and guest, completely lost at what they were talking about. Al was looking scandalized at his brother.

"Brother, control yourself!" Al yelled.

"So, Edward, do you still hate drinking milk?" Hohenheim asked conversationally.

"Who are you a calling an ultra hyper pint-sized midget because he doesn't like drinking milk?" Ed yelled, leaping over the table. Al made a move to stop his brother, but he was too late. Ed managed to make a nice loud _smack_ with a punch on Hohenheim's cheek that was steadily growing swollen and red.

"He didn't say that, brother," Al said sweatdropping.

"Al, you've grown," Hohenheim said, rubbing his bleeding cheek.

"Of course he grew, you left when he was only a baby!" Ed yelled.

"How do you know Flamel?" Dumbledore asked, finally able to control his chuckling at Ed.

"This _bastard_ who says he is Flamel is the Hohenheim of Light," Ed spat.

"He's our dad, Dumbledore," Al said, glaring at Ed for his tone.

"Don't call him our dad, he left us when you were still a baby!" Ed growled.

* * *

"Ed can't really be the youngest alchemist in the military. I agree with that guy, shortest more like," Ron snorted.

As Ed continued to rant, the Golden Trio exchanged similar looks.

"Did he just say that that man is the Hohenheim?" Hermione suddenly whispered at Harry and Ron.

"Yeah, why?" Harry said.

"I've read about him in a book, _Alchemists of Amestris_. It's a book the Ministry never really acknowledged," Hermione whispered excitedly.

"So what's your point?" Ron asked.

"In it says that Hohenheim lived over 400 years ago in Amestris, as a slave in an ancient country called Xerxes, his blood was used to create the first homunculus by his master. He was taught alchemy by the homunculus," Hermione said. "It also _says_, Ron, that Ed is the youngest, in the military."

"Wait, 400 years?" Harry said, eyes wide.

Hermione nodded.

"So he's got a Philosopher's Stone," Harry decided. "That or he figured some magic to let him live forever, but I doubt that. If it was that, the Voldemort would have already found it."

"That's the weird thing. Don't you think that the book would say that something if someone made a stone, don't you think? I mean, with the Elrics' ban on it and the way they wouldn't tell us why. It sounds like it has a good reason to be kept hidden. And there's no other way to become immortal," Hermione said.

"So, then how is he still alive?" Ron asked, furrowing his eyebrows, thinking (for once).

"I don't know," Hermione answered, biting her lip. "But the thing is, that must mean that Ed and Al are from Amestris, which explains so much. Like why the two of them are able to do alchemy, when it's a dead art here."

"Can I borrow that book?" Harry said. _Maybe the book will give me some information to prove to Hermione that those two brothers are suspicious. _

He seemed to forget that if Hermione had read the book she would have figured out much more about the two brothers.

"Sure, but there's something weird about it. One alchemist, the Crimson Alchemist, Zolf J. Kimblee, they get a second name once they become a State Alchemist, looks exactly like Sirius. And here's the weirdest part, he was accused of killing his comrades and partner right after the Ishbalan War had ended. Ishbal is a region near Amestris by the way, but nobody ever proved it, he was just found in the room where the officers had died, laughing hysterically," Hermione said.

Harry and Ron exchanged a glance, this was freaky. It was too close to what had happened to Sirius.

"Sirius was accused of killing Dad and Pettigrew after Voldemort disappeared, so when the first war ended. And he was dragged away by the Ministry laughed hysterically too. So he looks like Sirius and has almost the same past as he does?" Harry whispered.

"Yeah,"

"And don't forget, Sirius was an Auror once," Ron added.

"And the Aurors are exactly like Amestris's State Alchemist," Hermione finished.

"Creepy," Harry shuddered. "Maybe he's innocent too."

"I doubt it, the book says that the bodies were studied and it was exactly the same way Kimblee did alchemy, his special method, by blowing people up."

"The same way that Sirius was blamed for blowing up an entire street," Harry muttered softly.

"There's also another man, the Flame Alchemist, Roy Mustang. He is Ed's Colonel, or the guy in charge of him. Anyway, he really didn't like the rules and he was...a womanizer according to the book. He had jet-black hair and eyes, and superior attitude toward things, and all in all, a rule breaker. Sounds kind of like your dad, Harry," Hermione said.

"...my dad?" Harry choked out. "That's impossible...he died years ago though..."

"But apparently Sirius is still alive isn't he? Anyway, he had this really big group of friends who would probably do anything for him, kind of like the Order."

Harry was still digesting this information as his attention was once again brought to the Elrics.

"...automail," Harry and his friends looked up as Hohenheim said this unfamiliar word.

"Hermione, do you know what automail is?" Harry asked. Stumped, Hermione shook her head. They continued to watch Ed as he stopped dead.

"How the hell did you know?" he hissed.

"Your fist is stronger than what a normal first would be, but you didn't lean on your left side as you leaped so I suppose your left arm or leg is also automail," Hohenheim said.

Ron grabbed a chicken leg from the golden plates as he continued to enjoy the show like many other students.

"Ron," Hermione hissed.

"What? I'm hungry!" he whispered.

"You shouldn't be eating right now, we have to understand what they're talking about," Harry said urgently. He couldn't believe that Ron thought that _eating a drumstick_ was more important than listening in on the father and son's conversation. Not that it was very hard to miss their conversation.

He glanced at Umbridge quickly. The giant toad was looking between the two Elrics turning slightly red. And by slightly, I mean fuming, red hot-er than Mustang's fire red.

* * *

"Jeez, Al, who's side are you on, did you forget who we were talking to? You must have gotten your memories back and remembered him as the man who left as when you were still a baby!" Ed said, back in their room.

"I remember him from the pictures in the house before we burned it down," Al said quietly. "But like you said, I was still young, so I can't remember anything else."

There was a knock at the door. Ed opened the door, knowing it was Hohenheim.

"What do you want now?" he growled.

"To explain to you why I left," Hohenheim said.

As much as Ed hated him, his curiosity got the better of him and he opened the door wider to let him come in.

"So?" Ed glared.

"I'm a monster," Hohenheim said. "That's what I would say to most people, but the truth is, I'm a true Philosopher's Stone."

Ed gaped at him for a second recognizing the expression his father had as one that meant he wasn't kidding. Al stared too.

"400 years ago, I was a slave in Xerxes. My master took some blood from me to make the first homunculus, who calls himself Father. He taught me how to read, math, and alchemy. Father later tricked the king into believing that if he sacrificed everyone in Xerxes, he would become immortal. Since I'm the one who gave him the blood to become alive, he spared me and gave me half of the lives. I fell in love with a woman called Dante and together we were able to defeat Father together. I gave her a Philosopher's Stone because that's what she confided before she knew what I was as what she wanted the most. You should know, whenever you use alchemy in Amestris, where the energy comes from. It comes from people who have died here, " Hohenheim said.

There was a silence in the room.

"So, all these years, we've still been using human lives?" Ed asked quietly tightening his fist and looking down at the floor.

"Yes, but think of it this way, they were already dead. They couldn't be brought back, and they weren't sacrificed to make a Stone," Hohenheim said trying to make Ed feel better.

"Wait, so then how come alchemy doesn't work in some places?" Ed asked.

"Places like here, in Hogwarts, these wizards use magic, and there is always excess energy being produced. Wizards do not learn how to control the energy being used, so quite often, there will be much excess. Alchemists like us use this energy to do transmutations. However in places where there are very little wizards, we are unable to use alchemy. They use the energy from the souls of Amestris, so we basically trade energy, our souls for theirs," Hohenheim said.

"Brother, aren't you supposed to be in Umbridge's room right now?" Al said suddenly, looking at the time.

Ed flipped open his State Alchemist watch, glancing at the _Don't forget, 3 Oct. 11 _stared at it a for a few seconds and shrugged, "Eh, what's the matter, it's not like the old toad is gonna miss me."

"Brother! You have to go," Al said.

"You should go, if you don't I won't tell you the rest of the story, and you'll be forever wondering if it was true or not." Hohenheim said, grinning.

"Fine, but remember, you're still a bastard to me," Ed growled. He stormed off, out the door.

"Alphonse, do you believe me? I know Edward doesn't at the moment, but do you?," Hohenheim asked curiously.

"Well...you're a slave...that became a Philosopher's Stone..." Al said.

"...I know, it sounds far-fetched," Hohenheim said, and hung his head.

"I believe you though, maybe it's because my story sounds so wild too, being stuck in a suit of armor...So what does it feel like not being able to die?" Al asked.

"What does it feel like? It has a lot of good uses, but, I can't take seeing my loved ones die anymore."

There was a few moments of silence.

"Granny Pinako says that the two of you were drinking buddies 'back in the day.' One someone her age says back in the day, they don't mean 10 or 20 years ago. They mean when they were twenty," Al stated.

"Hmm, we met about 50 or 60 years ago. She introduced me to Trisha, I took one look at her, and I totally swooned."

"...Swooned..."Al sweat-dropped, _How can you say that with a straight face?_

* * *

He walked up to Umbridge's office to find the old toad there sitting behind a desk and Harry writing on a sheet of parchment.

"You're late, you'll have to attend detention for the rest of the week as well, I see," Umbridge said smiling nastily.

"Be happy I even showed up here today, my dad forced me to come, the bastard. So what the hell am I supposed to do now?" Ed said.

"You'll be writing lines. Copy _I will not contradict Professor Umbridge,_ until you have finished the sheet." Umbridge said.

"Oh joy," Ed said sarcastically.

Harry stared at Ed. At least he _tried_ to be respectful. But then again, Ed didn't have to be careful since he wasn't in any house and didn't have any house mates who wanted to do him in for losing points.

He grabbed the quill that Umbridge was holding and quickly scrawled out the lines on the parchment set out for him. Harry watched him, happy at least that he could watch this Voldemort supporter have to write lines. He still hadn't given up on the theory that Ed was a Death Eater and knew that telling Hermione would be no use. Ed gasped.

"What the FUCK!" he shouted. His glove was cut slit open saying, _I will not contradict Professor Umbridge, that piece of shit_. A trickle of blood fell from his hand.

"Mr. Elric, you cannot go around calling your teacher 'pieces of shit'. You should be a role model to the students," Umbridge simpered.

"Well, you're a teacher, are you saying teacher's should go around cutting open their students' hands?" Ed retorted.

"That is not the point," Umbridge sniffed.

"So then what is?"

"You disrupted a class the Professor Dumbledore has so_ kindly_ allowed you to go to, so you must be punished," Umbridge said.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, at least I've had worst," Ed mumbled the last part to himself as he set himself to right the lines.

Harry stared silently as Ed didn't even flinch as the words were carved into his skin.

**Not to worry peoples! The book won't be the great big unveiling of Ed's past. Besides, I've got the perfect thing planned for the grand unveiling, it's going to take a while though to set everything up...**


	5. Chapter 5

It was nearly one in the morning when Ed finally got the chance to go back into his room, where Al and Hoheheim were already sleeping in the chairs they were in earlier.

"You BASTARD you sent me off to do detention with the frog woman and you're here taking a nice nap!" Ed shouted as he raised his left leg and shoved it in to Hohenheim's face. The force of the kick knocked the chair over, and with it, Hohenheim.

"There are times I'm actually happy that I can't be killed like this," Hohenheim sighed as he picked himself up from the ground.

"See Al, there is a good thing about keeping an automail arm and leg. No show me your proof, Hohenheim!" Ed growled.

"Well, actually, I don't have any proof, I can't really just take out a Stone from my body... it just comes down to if you believe me or not..." Hohenheim said, expecting to be deafened by Ed's yelling. Smart man.

"YOU MEAN THAT I SPENT 4 HOUR GETTING MY HAND CUT OPEN BY THAT OLD TOAD FOR NO REASON??" Ed screeched, waving his bloody hand in front of his dad's face.

"I can heal that you know...? It won't do any good to get me mad at you. Besides, you should have gone there anyway," Hohenheim said.

"It won't do you any good either if you keep on lying, I won't believe you then," Ed said.

"Brother, be more polite to him, besides, the story fits," Al said.

"How?" Ed said, intrigued.

"Remember the story of the Alchemist from the East?" Al asked.

"Yeah...what about it?"

"An alchemist that taught Amestris and alchemy? He had golden hair and eyes, and it was a couple years after Xerxes was destroyed. Dad also is good at medical alchemy, and the man that taught the Xing alchemy made them specialize in medicinal," Al said.

"Well...ummm, what about...argh! Fine, I believe you," Ed grunted unhappily, unable to find another reason to distrust Hohenheim.

* * *

Harry thought guiltily about the pile of homework he had to finish as he opened the cover to_ Alchemists of Amestris_, the book that Hermione lent him. He swore to do it first thing in the morning and during lunch. He scanned through the first few pages before he looked for Alphonse Elric under the E's.

"Name: Alphonse Elric

Birthdate:April 24, 1978(1)

Occupation: None

Alphonse Elric is the only brother of the famous Edward Elric. They traveled all throughout Amestris looking for a Philosopher's Stone."

Harry stopped here. _This could only mean that they were working for Voldemort. Why else would they be here, the year after Voldemort came back? _Harry thought. _But then again, lots of people would want a Philosopher's Stone_, a little voice said. It sounded oddly like Hermione for some strange reason. He shook his head to get rid of the little thought that the Elric's might be innocent. He read, nervous as to what it might say, but excited at the possibility that if Hermione read the book, she would've have known about every little detail and put together if the Elric's were innocent or not.

"His teacher, along with his brother, taught him alchemy. The two Elrics first learned alchemy through their father's old alchemy books, namely _Introduction to Alchemy_ which is one of the most advanced but thorough book in alchemy. He took and passed the first test to become a State Alchemist when he was 11 with his brother. But Edward did not let him continue to the interview and practical. However Elric has become quite a help in many military problems including helping stop an uprising in Lior."

Harry flipped a couple of pages forward to find Ed's page.

"Here it is," he muttered to himself as he read the passage.

"Name: Edward Elric

Birth date: October 11, 1977

Occupation: State Alchemist

Rank: Major

Military name: Fullmetal Alchemist

Edward Elric is one of the most, if not the most, notable alchemists of Amestris. His father, Hohenheim of Light, left his family when Elric was only 2 and his mother died when he was 10. His brother and father are his only living relatives, however he is not on good terms with Hohenheim."

Harry could definitely see this from the brief meeting during dinner.

"His teacher was Izumi Curtis, who, ironically, hated the military with a passion, but Elric became the youngest State Alchemist at the age of 12 with his unique ability to clap his hands to perform alchemy, which is shared by only his teacher, brother, Alphonse Elric, and a homunculi called Wrath. His military name came from his specialty of transmuting metals. He later solved many cases such discovering the identity of a thief, Psiren, in the City of Water as well as unveiling First Lieutenant Yoki's bribes within the military. He is also famous in Lior, Amestris for announcing Father Cornello as a fake, which turned out to be true. Although this led to an uprising in Lior, the city was able to flourish again, moving further than it had. But he is the most famous for defeating the seven homunculi, also known as the Seven Deadly Sins. They, as their second name implies, are named after the seven sins, Lust, Gluttony, Envy, Pride, Wrath, Greed, and Sloth. To see more about the homunculi, see _Dante_."

Harry flipped forward to Dante wondering why there was no last name.

"Name: Dante ?

Birth date:(circ)1520

Occupation: None

Dante is the controller of the homunculus and convinced them that becoming human was much more wonderful than being homunculus. She created one, Greed and convinced all the other homunculi, which are named after the seven sins, that being human was better. She used to be the lover of Hohenheim of Light but when he left her, she became enraged and took care of the homunculus that Hohenheim created, Envy. She trained him to always hate Hohenheim and the sons that he had with Trisha Elric, Edward and Alphonse Elric. She died when one homunculi, Gluttony, ate her in an elevator she was using to escape. She had previously taken away Gluttony's ability to think, and turned him into a monster who only thought of filling his never-ending hunger."

Harry paused. _Voldemort would really want to team up with these guys,_ he thought as he lay back into bed. _Maybe I should check out that Izumi Curtis and Hohenheim tomorrow..._ Within seconds, he was asleep.

* * *

"Hello, Edward," a student said.

_Wait who is he...oh yeah...how the fuck could I have forgotten, it's that annoying Harry kid. Eh? He never calls me Edward, only Professor Elric or Ed._ Ed thought, as he yawned.

He had pulled an all-nighter last night. He had been looking for another formula to get home, back to Amestris. But, like when he was looking for the Philosopher's Stone, the result had been zilch.

"Why are you up so early?" Ed asked, stifling another yawn.

"I couldn't sleep so I decided to take a walk around the school," Harry said.

"Same here," Ed said. _Wait, I haven't told anyone my first name yet, only the staff know. Of course! It's Envy. I should play along with him, just to see what Envy wanted, besides killing me and Hohenheim, I mean._

"How much can you tell me about the Philosopher's Stone?" 'Malfoy' asked.

"To tell you the truth, not too much. To make the Stone you need something called Red Water. Both the alchemic and magical can be used to turn lead into gold and prolong life. But you always need a Stone to be able to be immortal. However, the alchemic one is more, ah, bloody. To be able to stay alive forever, for the alchemic one, one must move from body to body, thus killing the original inhabitant of the body. The alchemic one is simply a alchemic amplifier, meaning it can do more," Ed said, studying 'Malfoy' carefully.

If it really way Malfoy, he would no doubt be awed by the way people had to stay alive. No matter how much he acted like Mustang, Mustang would never like the idea of killing somebody.

"Perhaps you could ask my father, Hohenheim, but he might not be able to tell you anymore than I can. I think he believes that it is better for someone to find the answers themselves," Ed continued.

Envy twitched again. Ed smirked. Mentioning Hohenheim would no doubt make Envy furious. That would mean that Envy is definitely pretending to be Malfoy.

"But of course you know all that don't you, Envy?" Ed said, transmuting his arm into a blade and stabbing it through Envy's stomach.

Envy gasped, but quickly calmed down.

"Heh heh, you should know by now that that wouldn't kill me, " Envy laughed.

"If I do it a lot of times, it will. All I need to do is to make sure that the Stone shards in you are useless. Trust me, I wouldn't mind doing it," Ed growled.

He suddenly spotted Harry walking out of the Owerly. He quickly transmuted his arm and glove back as to hide his automail arm. Envy didn't notice Harry and continued to taunt him, considering transmuting his hand back as a sign of weakness.

"What's wrong, Fullmetal Pipsqueak? Scared?" Envy said, turning back to his usual androgynous form.

Ed lunged at Envy, apparently forgetting that Harry was there.

"Do you really think that you can beat me with that, pipsqueak?" Envy taunted.

"That's the sixth time! You called me 'pipsqueak' three times back in Lab 5! And twice in the forest!" Ed roared.

"Such a good memory," Envy said, sweatdropping.

"What the..." Harry said as he finally found his voice.

"Eh?" Envy said as he turned around.

"Run!" Ed yelled as he lunged clapped his hands while Envy lowered his guard.

Turning heel, Harry ran as fast as he could. Meanwhile Ed was trying to kill Envy again. He clapped his hands and placed his left one on the wall and pulled out a spear from it.

"Stay still...why..don't you!" Ed growled as he swung and stabbed at Envy.

"Brother!" Al yelled.

He ran toward the homunculus clapping his hands and slapped it on to a suit of armor along the corridor. He did this repeatedly to other suits of armor along the corridor as he ran toward Ed. They all started to creak slightly as they moved toward Envy clumsily and slowly.

"Hey! Get off of me you stupid clumps of metal!" Envy growled as he kicked the armor away, but they just kept coming back.

"Heheh, who knew your alchemy can defeat Envy?" Ed laughed.

Envy shape-shifted into a large dragon that immediately destroyed all the armor.

"Uh...heh, I don't think we should have made him mad," Al said in a small voice.

"I think so, too," Ed said in an equally small voice, looking up to stare at the dragon. He shook his head to get rid of the fear.

He clapped his hands and placed it on the floor, and the homunculi sealing array appeared.(2)

"What's that for?" Al asked as he clapped his hands again and spikes pointed down from the ceiling.

"Even if we can't make get all the stones out of him, we can at least get some. If only we had some of of his hair to make him STAY STILL!" Ed said as he lunged forward to get out of the way of Envy's attack.

"If we could only find a way to make him stay in one place!" Al groaned as Envy evaded yet another spike.

Envy sped toward Ed, with his mouth wide opened. Ed quickly ducked, but Envy's teeth managed grazed Ed's right arm, destroying his automail. Envy spat out the metal and wire bits.

"Where's Dad? He should have one of Envy's old remains," Ed grunted.

"I think he's on the way." Al gasped, jumping out of the way.

As if on cue, Hohenheim came running and clapped his hands. There was a large flash of light and Envy was blinded temporarily. Sensing danger, Envy transformed back into his usual form and jumped up to the window sill.

"Scared?" Ed shot back, blinking from the flash of light.

"I've got some of your old bones, face it Envy, you won't live," Hohenheim said fiercely.

"Well that was a nice work out," he said grinning maliciously, ignoring Hohenheim, "but I have to go Fullmetal Shrimp!"

"So is he gone?" a voice behind Ed said, causing him to jump.

"Yeah, were you hiding the whole time!"

"Of course! What could a measly old ghost like me do against Envy of all of the homunculi? Do you want him to kill me again?" Hughes said, shrugging.

"Hughes? HE CAN'T KILL YOU!" Ed shouted angrily.

"Brother! Calm down!" Al said.

"Well I can't do anything to him either, can I? Besides, I got Al and your dad for you didn't I?" Hughes pouted.

There was a shuffle of feet. Ed and Al turned around to see who it was. It was Dumbledore, led by Harry, both of which had their wand drawn.

"Ed, Al, is Envy gone?" Dumbledore asked as they came to a stop with his .

"Yeah," Al said as he fixed the ceiling and floor.

Ed spotted Harry staring at him, or more accurately, his arm.

"Your arm...it's metal!" Harry choked out.

"Oh, my arm...I lost it in the Eastern Rebellion during the Ishbalan Civil War," Ed lied with ease.

"Harry, go back to your common room, and do not tell anybody about this, not even Ron or Hermione, understand? Hohenheim, can you please tell the staff about this, make sure nobody else hears, I want to talk to your sons," Dumbledore said, looking over Ed and Al for any injuries.

"...Yes sir," Harry asked, wondering why Dumbledore didn't even take a glance at him.

* * *

"Is there anything about Envy I should know?" Dumbledore said as they settled in his office.

"Well, Dad created him, and his power his shape-shifting. Oh, he also hates me and Al, and Dad a lot since Dante, the controller of homunculi, convinced him that Dad left her and Envy for our mom. But really, it was a little less then 400 years before he actually met Mom. Envy actually managed to kill me once, but Al brought me back to life. And then I brought him back."

"Brought you back to life...? Do you mind telling me the entire story?" Dumbledore asked, a bit shocked.

"Our mom died when I was 10. We wanted to bring her back so we decided to learn alchemy. Al and I learned it under apprenticeship. We learned under Izumi Curtis," at this, Ed and Al shivered slightly. "The two of us attempted the transmutation about a year later. Doing the transmutation allowed us to see the Truth. But Equivalent Exchange was still in use, and for what we saw, we had to have payment. I lost my left leg and Al lost his entire body. I sacrificed my right arm to be able to get Al's soul back and I sealed it to one of the suit of armors that were in the room. What we created wasn't something human. It was a homunculus, Sloth."

Al continued for Ed, "Brother joined the military to be able to research a way to get our bodies back, we were looking for the Philosopher's Stone. Eventually the homunculi, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Pride, Sloth, and Wrath got wind of it and tried to force us to make it to become human again. The last homunculi, Greed, wanted just to figure out how to become immortal. Brother and I went to Rushvalley once to visit his mechanic and met this Xing prince, Ling, who was also looking for the Stone. We teamed up, but Gluttony ate brother, Ling, and Envy, but they figured out how to get out. During the time they were in Gluttony's stomach, I got him to lead me to their leader, Dante. They got out, nearly killing Gluttony and we were able to get away before Dante could kill us. We killed some of them, but Envy, Wrath, Gluttony, and Pride survived. In a little town called Lior, a man named Scar turned me into a Philosopher's Stone since I was turned into a bomb by Kimbley, using the lives of all of the military personnal there because of an uprising."

"Later, I was kidnapped by the homunculi. Brother tried to rescue me but he was killed by Envy. Since I was a Stone, I tried to bring brother back to life. But using it made me disappear. Brother came back, and brought me back by offering his life as exchange. But he was just brought across the Gate, to Munich, Germany, and I just forgot all of the memories we had in the four years we were on the road. Dante, who didn't get her stone, was eaten by Gluttony."

Ed started to talk again, "Two years later, a woman, Dietlinde Eckhart, tried to open the Gate, as a result, she and I went through. I met up with Al again, and we defeated her together, and we went through the Gate again to close it from this side, with my commanding officer from when I was still a State Alchemist, Roy Mustang, closing it from the Amestris side."

"You said your brother lost 4 years worth of memories, right?" Dumbledore asked.

Ed nodded, unaware on what's going on.

"Well, I happen to have an extra Penseive. It is this magical device that allows you to put some of your memories in it. If you happen to lose your memories again, you can just relive them in a way, using this. Now on to a more serious matter. I've had a hunch that Voldemort sealed part of his soul to various objects. Of course that had involved splitting your soul, but still, an 11 year old who bound his brother's soul onto an object. And each of you succeeded a human transmutation," Dumbledore chuckled softly.

"We just work harder than others," Ed replied modestly.

"And how wonderfully you do that!" Dumbledore laughed louder at this. "Allow me to ponder this, please. You can go back to your rooms, if you have nothing else to say."

"Yessir," Ed said pompously, in the same way he always addressed Mustang.

(1)-I'm using their birthdates if Ed was 18 and Al was 19 during the beginning of the school year.

(2)-I'm not sure what it's called. Anybody want to tell me?


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi! Well, I need some help. Can somebody please please please give me a good plot for a short fantasy story? A short one please. It's for this English tutor. She wants me to write one, and I can't really think of a good plot. I've got an okay one, but I'd rather not use that one :) A plot that'll take up anywhere from 1-3 pages will be fine. It's due on Thursday, so if I could get it by say, Tuesday? The person who's got the best plot will get the next chapter early :) **

By lunch, nearly everybody in the school had heard of the fight between Envy and the Elric brothers. Although all the students knew was that someone got in Hogwarts and that the Elric brothers defeated them, they had created a lot of theories. The most extravagant being one where Voldemort himself had come into Hogwarts and was aiming to kill Harry, but the Elric brothers had managed to ruin this plot. Since Ed's arm wasn't there anymore, as he didn't know how to fix the automail, he decided that there would no point in hiding it anymore.

"I guess news travels fast around here," Ed nervously.

One girl, a girl with blonde hair and large blue eyes, looked particularly more interested in his automail than trying to flirt with him. He had taken out the broken automail, but she was poking at the wires used to connect the automail to the port. She looked strangely familiar...

"Winry!" Al gasped. It had to be her, she looked exactly like Winry Rockbell, except with her hair swept to the side in a pony tail.

"Eh? How do you know me? I don't take alchemy," Winry inquired suspiciously. "But do you mind if I, erm, look at your prosthetic? I've never seen anything like it! My parents were doctors, who specialized in prosthetics, and I'm studying them too, back home, but these are amazing!"

"On one condition, you have to make a new one for me," Ed grinned.

"That's it?" Winry scoffed. "I'll have one ready for you in no time!" she said, whipping out a wrench, with a dangerous twinkle in her eye.

"Just like Winry," Al muttered. "Let's hope that she doesn't hit your head with a wrench when you break her automail."

Ed glared at him, but sighed, "I swear, there's still a wrench shaped bruise in the back of my head."

He turned to Winry and said,"Are you busy after lunch? My automail, the prosthetic, is in my room, it was ruined in the fight."

"No problem," Winry said, still staring at the automail port in awe. The brothers then inched away from the frighteningly familiar stare at the automail and giggling girls.

"You know, I'm glad that the students can't be allowed at the teachers' table," Ed said.

"Same here, brother," Al sighed, trying in vain to ignore the girls staring and giggling over them.

"You know, sometimes, I'd rather fight Scar and deal with the military than handle these girls," Ed said.

"Oh, Eddy, maybe you'll be able to find a woman for you as wonderful as Gracia for me," Hughes gushed.

"And maybe I'll find a way to exorcise you," Ed glared as he bit into a slice of steak and kidney pie.

"Oh damn, I forgot to ask Dumbledore if I could see his hat," Ed grumbled suddenly.

"Just ask him next time," Hughes said gazing fondly at his picture of Gracia.

* * *

Harry wasn't having a good day. It seemed this year, he was having nothing but good days. Especially with Ron and Hermione nagging about him starting that weird Defense class for some people. Really, as if he had enough time to deal with homework and detention with Umbridge. But today, had to be an all-time low, with everybody doubting that he really was in the fight. True he was only there for a minute or two when he first saw Envy transform, and when he finally got Dumbledore at the very end. Somehow that fact that he was even there spread like a wildfire, although just about all of the school doubted him.

"Why does everybody believe that the Elric's were there but not me?" Harry growled, as he stabbed his chicken with particular forcefulness.

"It's all right, mate, we believe you. You got through our second year didn't you? I'd rather take not getting believed that everybody thinking that I'm Slytherin's heir," Ron said, stuffing his face.

Harry nodded as he sighed.

"Hmf, can you really believe it? I bet Potter spread it himself that he was there," a voice said, quite loudly. Harry glared at his chicken with intense dislike. Poor chicken.

"Hey Potty! I bet you ran away like the sissy you are once you saw that Envy dude," Malfoy taunted as he walked past the Gryffindor table. "I heard he was impersonating me, he must have looked the best he ever did."

"Hm, how do you think he got to be able to look like you? I suppose that he must have had Polyjuice Potion. How did you not notice him taking a couple hairs from you? And I pity him for one reason. He had to drink Polyjuice Potion that tasted like you," Harry shot back.

"Well I happen to know some secrets about him, that apparently you don't," Malfoy smirked.

This confirmed Harry's thought that somebody told Malfoy about the homunculi. He always seemed to know what was going on with Voldemort. The question was who. Lucius Malfoy was in Azkaban. Snape was a possible. Harry stood up taking out his wand.

"Harry, it's not worth it," Hermione said, grabbing on to his sleeve.

"Why don't you listen to your little Mudblood girlfriend while you've got a choice?" Malfoy smirked as he walked away with Crabbe and Goyle whispering, trying to understand what Malfoy and Harry were talking about.

"I wish that I could prove that Snape's a Death Eater," Harry muttered.

"That's random," Ron said, swallowing a large chunk of mashed potatos.

"Listen, who else could have told Malfoy about the homunculi? His father's in Azkaban, so that's impossible," Harry said.

"Harry, for the last time, Snape's innocent," Hermione said, exasperated.

"As innocent as a old bat who takes points off of Gryffindor every chance he gets," Ron said.

"Well, Malfoy's a good student. He could have read _Alchemists of Amestris_ too," Hermione said.

"Listen to yourself! You're defending Malfoy!" Harry said.

"No, I'm defending Snape," Hermione sniffed.

"Just you wait, I'll prove it to you somehow," Harry said and he dug into his food.

* * *

"Eh? What are they doing?" Ed said, as Winry waited outside his room.

There were people outside on the field, holding their brooms and two people, the Weasley twins, holding on either side of a big black box.

"They're playing Quidditch. It's this game that is played on broomsticks and there are three Chasers who try to throw the balls into the hoops, two Beaters that hit the Bludgers. They're things that try to knock players off. The Keeper blocks the ball from going in and the Seeker is the person that captures the Snitch, which is this really tiny thing. I really want to take it apart and see what makes it tick," Winry said, eyes glittering.

Ed laughed inwardly, there was no doubt about it, the two Winry's were the same. He remembered the time the Winry back home wanted to open his State Alchemist watch, eyes glittering. His face softened as he remembered when she found his secret in the watch.

"Well here's my automail, it's probably hopeless, so you can take it apart if you want to," Ed said, handing Winry the bundle of wires and metal.

"What did you do to it? I can't even take it apart anymore, it's all messed up," Winry said, scandalized.

"What's that supposed to mean? Don't forget I'm a teacher, I can give you detention and take points off of Gryffindor. Besides, Envy was the one that did all that, he scrapped the top of my automail," Ed pretended to be offended.

She looked through the jumble, poking at some of the wires and clumps of metal.

"You better be happy that I'm fixing this for you," Winry huffed.

She left the room, leaving Ed alone. _So Quidditch, is it?_

* * *

"Whoa, I didn't think she was serious when she said they were flying on brooms," Ed said to himself as he walked down to the Quidditch pitch.

Harry was passing a ball to Ron, who dropped it. Ed continued to watch and winced every now and then as Ron continued to drop balls or let them go through the hoops.

"Gryffindors are losers, Gryffindors are losers," a crowd chanted from the other side of the field.

Ed could spot that Mustang-boy, a pug-faced girl, two giant gorillas, and some more hulking figures, probably twice the size of himself, or perhaps even three. Finally, the captain of the team called everybody down from the air, after a truly horrible practice. One girl who had a nasty nose bleed had to be escorted by the two twins, two of Weasleys. The Slytherins at the other end of the field laughed nastily. Ed met up with Harry and Ron, both who looked beaten and worn.

"Not exactly the best practice is it?" Ed asked.

"What are you saying?" Ron growled.

"Nothing, except that it wasn't exactly a very good practice," Ed said.

"Fine, if you're so good at it, why don't you try to fly it?" a cranky Harry said.

He shoved the broom under Ed's nose.

"Eh, I like to keep my feet on the ground, thank you very much," Ed said, pushing the broom back. "To me, brooms are meant for sweeping, not for flying."

"Are you a coward or something?" Ron barked angrily.

"10 points from Gryffindor for calling your teacher a coward," Ed barked back smirking.

The Slytherins, who had been walking back to the castle laughed loudly as they heard this.

"Guess the shortie teacher isn't as bad as we thought he was," Crabbe laughed.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A GRAIN OF RICE SO SMALL IT WOULDN'T FEED AN ANT! AND 20 POINTS EACH FROM SLYTHERIN FOR...FOR...FOR BEING RUDE!" Ed shouted, turning red in the face.

"Brother!" Al said, running towards him, restraining him just in time.

"He called me a midget, little, he called me short!!" Ed growled, in Al's grasp.

The Slytherins raced back to the castle before Ed could release his fury on them.

"Brother, remember our class of Ancient Runes on Monday?" Al asked on a walk outside the castle to calm Ed down.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Do you really think that there were the 7 sins in this world too?" Al asked.

Ed quieted, "Maybe, who knows, they could even be dead by now, and we won't be dragged into another mess."

"But Lust and Wrath turned good. Wrath was the one who led me to Xerxes, that underground city. He was the one that got the two of us back together," Al said.

"I don't know, but I just hope there's not another Envy," Ed sighed, "I miss Winry...well not her wrench, just her. Her automail was the best."

"Miss your girlfriend?" Hughes teased, as he popped out of nowhere...like usual, including back in Amestris.

Ed turned beet red as he stammered out, "No...she's...n-n-not my g-girlfriend!"

"I think he's rejecting too much," Al said, crossing one arm over his chest, and the other rubbing his chin.

Hughes copied this and said, "Hmm, well, since I _am_ part of the Investigations Squad, I know all about this, and I have one conclusion in this...HE LOVES HER!" Hughes cackled.

"What a-are y-y-you ta-talking about?" Ed stammered.

Hughes cackled again, "You're as good as Mustang at hiding it, which is to say, not very good, nope, not at all."

"How I wish that I had my arm back," Ed sighed as he took a piece of chalk out. He scrawled an array on the castle. He placed his good hand on it and a large spike formed, leaving the castle wall thin.

"Haha, brother, I don't have to have a transmutation circle!" Al laughed.

"And guess what! I can't be hurt! Good luck Ed, trying to fight us!" Hughes laughed.

By the time the three of them were finished, a large portion of the grounds had been transformed into a spiky, dangerous battle field.

"Hey, Hughes, mind getting Hermione for us?" Ed asked, grinning wickedly.

"Yessir!" And Hughes flew into the castle and retrieved a bewildered Hermione in a couple of minutes. Behind her were Harry and Ron, trailing to see what was going on.

"Hey Hermione, do you mind if you do something for us?..." Ed said, smiling a smile that certainly made Harry and Ron cringe.

* * *

"It's no fair, Al, even when you're back in human form, I still can't beat you at sparring," Ed pouted they marched back to the castle after the spar. The Golden Trio had already headed back to the castle, sniggering at what they imagined Umbridge's face to be soon.

They walked right past Umbridge, who they ignored, and into the Great Hall for dinner. She spun around on her heel to face the backs of a certain ghost and two brothers.

"ELRIC! What did you do to the grounds!?" Umbridge yelled who became quite flustered at being ignored.

"Well, we had started out with some sparring, and then it sort of got into an all-out alchemy battle, which was pretty fun. You should try it out some time," Ed said, "But then again, we'll just beat the shit out of you. Of course we don't care what happens to you, so just say the word."

"You ruined half the grounds!" Umbridge screeched.

"So? You guys are magical or whatever right? Just wave your wand, say some funny words, and change everything back to normal," Ed said.

Al, who normally disapproved of his brother's bad behavior, only frowned instead of his usual reprimend.

"Why don't you just fix it yourself?" Umbridge growled.

"Well, you see, I ran out of chalk, I used it all, and Al here is tired from clapping his hands to much and used too much energy with the spar we had. You on the other hand, only has to wave your wand, so you've got the easiest job out of all of us."

Al sighed, Hughes smirked and said, "I'll make your job easier, I'll show you pictures of my beautiful little daughter, she's truly a beauty. And the best thing is that, since I'm intangible, you won't have to worry about me at all! Well, let's see. Ah, this picture! It's my favorite. Isn't she adorable! Ooh, and..."

Umbridge glared at Hughes.

"Well, who knew that Hughes was actually useful for something?" Ed whispered to Al.

"Elrics, you should know that the Minister of Magic will hear about this," Umbridge said curtly, before turning away to try to figure out how to fix the grounds.

* * *

"Ed, Al, you better look at this," Hohenheim said.

"Mmmm, go away, I'm sleeping," Ed moaned, as he covered his face with his blanket.

"Brother, wake up," Al said as he sat up from his bed, yawning.

"Nooooo," Ed said, tossing and turning.

Hohenheim gave Al the copy of _Daily Prophet_ he was holding.

"Brother, you might want to read this," Al said as he finished reading it.

Ed sat up and rubbed his eyes as Al tossed the _Daily Prophet_ to him.

_"_Let's see what this is...

Ministry Seeks Education Reform, Dolores Umbridge Appointed First Ever High Inquisitor.

In a surprise move last night, the Ministry of Magic passed new, blah blah blah. It is this last function that the Ministry has now formalized with the passing of Educational Decree Number Twenty-three, which creates the new position of Hogwarts High Inquisitor. Useless stuff...

'After I heard about the Elric brother's fight on the school grounds, I knew that something had to be done to control those two boys,' a concerned parent said, 'which is why I'm so pleased to hear about this new decree for Hogwarts.' The Minister replied by saying, 'Dolores Umbridge, who is a teacher at Hogwarts, has told me about this fight, which is one of the main reasons that I had this decree signed.

What the fuck!" Ed growled.

"You do know that this means that Professor Umbridge can inspect us to see if we're good enough to stay here," Al said.

"We've got to plan something that'll blow her away..." Ed muttered.

"Why do I get a bad feeling all of a sudden?" Al groaned.

"You never have any fun, Al," Ed said, pouting.

"You always get in trouble when you're plotting something like this," Al explained.

* * *

"I have graded your papers as if they were graded on your O.W.L.s. I am disappointed to say that most of you have barely scraped an A. If you do not improve, I will be forced to put the dunderheads that got D's into a Remedial Potions class," Snape hissed.

_Oh damn, the paper..._Ed thought.

"Elric! I don't remember getting either of your papers," Snape said.

_That's a first, Al not turning something in...except when we were looking for the components of the human body the first time in grade school,_ Ed thought.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I just had so much free-time that I didn't know what to do with. I guess I shouldn't have spent all that time doodling, should I?" Ed said sarcastically.

"I do not appreciate the sarcasm," Snape hissed. "I'll just quiz you to see what you know then. Tell me, what happens when you mix fluxweed, doxy wings, unicorn hair, lovage, and powdered moonstone and boil them in water for half an hour?"

"Hmmmm, fluxweed, doxy wings, unicorn hair, lovage, and powdered moonstone..." Ed scribbled down the equation. "You get a potion that strengthens you but also messes with your sense. You could change the unicorn hair and fluxweed into Re'em blood and skip the water and get a better effect. Or you could skip the potion and get a couple dozen bottles of beer and a couple steriods, that also gets the same effects."

"How did you know that?"

"Well, my superior officer would always get drunk and-" Ed started, innocently.

"Not that, the Re'em blood," Snape growled.

"That was easy, all I do is get the formula for each item, like what it's elements are. I calculate what would happen if I mixed together and I change the ingredients to make the solution easier and more effective, if possible," Ed said. "That way, I can make basically any potion that I need. Of course, some would take more calculating then others, like say, a poison to kill someone without a trace."

Snape turned away to teach. Every now and then, he would look back at the two boys with a look of loathe he usually reserved for James Potter and his idiotic son.

"Today we will begin the Strengthening Solution. The instructions are on the board, and get started. Elric, no alchemy," Snape instructed.

"Bastard," Ed muttered under his breath. "Hey Al, give me the alchemical equation. That's the least we can do is to still get to annoy Snape. Besides, it's not alchemy."

Ed immediately received a sharp rap on his head.

**I'm craving reviews. I want at least say...five? I'm still keeping it low at the moment. See? You should be happy. I don't want _that_ much. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A nice long-ish chapter for you guys...long by the standards in this story at least :) You guys better love me for this. And do you know how to show your love? Yep! Reviewing! I'll be waiting to read them!**

"ELRIC!!" Umbridge roared at lunch.

Al muttered, "I told you you couldn't avoid her forever."

"Yes?" Ed asked, feigning innocence. Quite hard for Ed...because he's ED!

"May I ask you why I cannot remove the alchemy on the grounds?"

"Maybe your just inept at magic. Perhaps you should put yourself on probation. Perhaps Professor Dumbledore can find a better teacher to take your place," Ed said.

"I'll get you fired, if it's the last thing I do," Umbridge growled.

"Hughes?"

"Hm?"

"I just love making her mad, she looks like a giant frog," Ed laughed.

Al hit him.

"Hughes? Is it just me or is Al being more violent these days?" Ed said, rubbing his poor wound.

* * *

"All right, has any of you figured out what the riddle means?" Ed asked as the alchemy class sat down.

Hermione raised her hand, while everybody else kept their hands down.

"Go ahead," Ed nodded.

"One is us, and all is the world," Hermione answered.

"Correct, we all make up a tiny part of the world. When these little parts come together, they make the universe. We are all living according countless 'rules.' Taking things apart and putting them together according to these 'rules' is what we call alchemy," Al said.

"Hem, hem," Umbridge coughed from the back of the classroom.

"What?" Ed glared.

"I was just wondering if you got my notice that I'd be inspecting your class?" Umbridge asked, smiling widely.

"Oh! That's you Umbridge? I thought some fat toad hopped into my classroom, silly me," Ed said in a Mustang-like way.

Umbridge turned red, but Ed just ignored her while Al glared at his brother.

"Today, I thought we could finally start learning about alchemy in here," Ed sighed. Al hadn't let him do anything extreme to give Umbridge the shock of her life.

"Professor, does that mean you didn't teach them anything last time?" Umbridge smirked.

"Well, alchemy is a science, these students have learned magic all this time, we just thought it would take some getting used to for them," Al stepped in before Ed could do something rash.

"I see...but you're wrong alchemy is a dead art, the predecessor of magic," Umbridge glared, having lost a reason to put them on probation.

"Alchemy has nothing to do with magic, it follows the law of equivalent exchange. Now, alchemy, as we said in our last class, uses transmutation circles, or arrays, to do. I doubt any of you know how to do a correct transmutation circle, so today, we'll start practicing drawing circles and squares," Ed said lying through his teeth at the first part, glaring back at Umbridge. The students all shivered at the look in his eye as he glared.

Malfoy was one of the first to regain his posture, and asked skeptically, "So we're going to spend this period...drawing circles...?"

"Well, if you think you can draw a circle correctly and not lopsided in anyway, come up here and draw a circle on the chalkboard," Ed said.

"_I _quite agree with Mr. Malfoy, what is the point of spending the entire period _drawing circles_," Umbrigde emphasized the last two words to show how much she disapproved.

"Well, if you can draw a circle," Al drew a simple array on the board, a square in circle, and continued, "then you can do virtually any kind of transmutation you want, as long as you know the correct one."

Umbridge scribbled a fast note on her clipboard, as she glared daggers at how Al was able to answer each question with ease. Harry on the other hand, gaped at how Al was able to draw a perfect circle without a compass or any other instrument.

The Gryffindors exchanged excited looks with each other, while the Slytherins arranged their face to show skeptical amusement.

"Now you guys start practicing and me or brother will make sure that the circles and squares are perfect. If someone can get the array correctly by the end, we can see if the person can do alchemy," Al said.

Umbridge seemed determined to be able to find something wrong with this class, "Why don't you just use magic to draw the circles?"

"This is class is to help you if you lose or if your wand is damaged," Al said.

"What about that fight you had with that Envy character. You must not be particularly skilled at alchemy then?" Umbridge sniffed.

"All right, you fat fro-" Ed started.

"What Brother means is that Envy is a homunculus. He's immortal. You want to try killing someone immortal?" Al said, also extremely ticked. "Also, Brother became the youngest State Alchemist in Amestris at age _twelve_. Only one or two actually pass the military at exam."

Al glared at Ed for being rude and instructed him to help the students. Ed and Al walked down the rows of students, attempting to use draw circles. Their hands, scrawled parchment out lopsided ovals and circles on the parchment. Only the Muggle-born or Muggle-raised seemed to be able to draw something that half resembled a circle. Apparently the wizard-raised never thought twice of drawing a circle.

"Make over here rounder...this edge of this is too long, " Ed instructed a trembling Neville. Harry looked at his sloppy circle and lopsided square. He sighed. Apparently this was harder than what he thought it would be. He glanced quickly at Hermione's nearly perfect drawing.

"Good job Hermione," Ed said, "But look here, the square goes through the circle a bit, so just make that smaller and maybe we'll be able to have a experiment today."

Ron widened his eyes as he looked up from his wobbly drawings. It was Hermione they were talking about! She always did everything absolutely perfect though! _Well, if that wasn't good enough to work, then mine definitely won't,_ Ron thought as he continued to work on his wobbly lines and choppy circle.

Hermione on the other hand, set straight to work after she heard the Professor's comments. She was set on making him amazed with her wonderful alchemy. She sighed in her mind as she envisioned his beaming smile at her.

"Draco, don't think that you'll get away with cheating," Al said. "I can hear you muttering the spell."

The Golden Trio glanced to the back of the room to see a perfect transmutation circle on Malfoy's sheet of parchment.

"That little furret," Ron growled.

"I'm just glad that he didn't get away with it," Harry said. "It'd be horrible if that transmutation circle actually worked and the Professors were actually proud of him. He'll never stop boasting."

Hermione nodded fervently agreeing with her best friends.

"Congratulations Draco, you just lost your house 50 points for cheating and a detention with me tomorrow night," Ed glared.

Harry and Ron glanced at each other when they heard this. 50 points off just for cheating! After all, it usually was 30 points at maximum or simply a detention.

"Let's see if anyone has a useful transmutation circle," Al finally said about 10 minutes from the end of class. "Just bring whatever you have at the moment."

The students shuffled forward, handing forward their drawings. Ed glanced through the pile he got quickly to find one that was at least was distinguishable as an array.

"Well, this is the only one can be able to pass as an transmutation, good job Hermione. Let's see if you can do a transmutation," Ed said. The other girls glared at her, as she beamed.

Ed placed the parchment on the floor.

"Place your hands on the edge of the circle, and push your energy through your hands, and imagine transmutating this piece of parchment into anything you want," Ed instructed.

Hemione squeezed her eyes shut as she did what she was told...but it didn't work.

"It's ok if it doesn't work, it took us many tries to figure out how to do it," Ed said. "But let me see try this array out."

Ed slapped his hand down on the paper. The paper instantly became a plank of wood.

"Well, congratulations, the circle still works, you just have to focus to do the transmutation, it's not something you can just read out of a book, you have to _feel_ it. Here, let me show you."

Hermione's eyes widened when she heard that books would be no use. She sighed. This was the third time in her entire school career that books didn't help. The first time was during the first year, during their flying class. Needless to say, that didn't turn out very good. Second was Divination. She quit that class before the school year actually ended.

Ed drew a transmutation circle on the floor. He placed his hand on it and lo and behold (1) there was a large cage that shot up around Umbridge.

"ELRIC, GET ME OUT OF THIS!!" Umbridge screeched.

"Well, I don't think I want to," Ed taunted.

"_Reducto_!" she yelled as she her wand was pointed toward the cage bars.

"That's not going to work," Ed said. "The bars are too thin and spaced so far that someone with aim as bad as yours will never make it out. You rely purely on luck that you hit your targets."

"GET ME OUT OF THIS!" she screeched, banging on the bars. The students snickered; Umbridge looked like a frog being boiled.

"Did I forget to mention that I rearranged some of the minerals in the castle bricks to make it into metal? Whoops, I'm sorry," Ed said innocently...or as innocent as he can get.

"Brother..." Al sighed.

"What Al? I mean, if we can immobilize her and trap her without the use of magic, doesn't that prove that we're fit to stay, right?" Ed defended himself. Al shook his head.

"This is how you got nearly got somebody killed every time we get a lead," Al sighed.

"Not true, what about...uhhh...how about..." Ed thought aloud.

"Lior, you nearly destroyed the town, Xenotine, you nearly sunk it. Oh before that, there was Psiren, and she nearly killed you, Marcoh, you got him kidnapped, Youswell, you caused Lyra to get fired, which made her go to Dante...(2)" Al said, counting off his fingers.

The bell rang, and the students bolted out of the door, eager to get away from Umbridge. A few brave, and stupid, students lingered to see how Umbridge would get out. They were immediately shot by a few curses.

"Hey Al, you can't forget Lab 5 and Scar business" Hughes said.

"Oh yeah, Lab 5, those people almost died," Ed noticed Al didn't mention that Ed was the one who almost killed them, "Scar..."

* * *

"That class...was really weird," Harry decided.

"You shouldn't say that about a teacher, no matter how horrible," Hermione scolded.

"You're admitting that she's bad?" Harry laughed, too.

"No, but she could be better and actually teach us something."

"Wow, I'd never thought that you of all people would say something bad about a teacher," Ron chortled.

Harry joined in as well.

"I just wonder why you don't like Professor Elric," Hermione sniffed.

"I told you, I just don't think they're trustworthy," Harry sighed.

"Just be more trusting sometimes," Hermione sighed.

Ed, like last time was already in the Defense Against Dark Arts classroom. But this time, he wasn't smirking at Umbridge, (as she was probably still stuck in that cage) and _attempting_ to ignore Hughes's rants of Elysia at the same time. Apparently, it wasn't working very well.

"Oh, isn't it so much cuter when it's moving! Really, she's got to be the most beautiful angel!"

"Hughes! Shut up! God, these are times when I wish Mustang was here so you could annoy him. I wouldn't mind him snapping once or twice," Ed growled.

"That's not very nice. Do you want me to be burnt to a crisp or something?" Hughes pouted. "How could you not enjoy these cute pictures Elysia. She's so adorable!!"

Hughes rubbed the picture to his cheek, in complete bliss. Suddenly the door burst open to reveal a disheveled Umbridge.

"Look at the old hag!" Ron whispered excitedly. Her face was thick with sweat, and her chubby cheeks were mousy red.

"Can't say I like her, but this is definitely an improvement, for the moment at least. She might take it out on us," Harry said.

"Put away your wands, and take out your books. Turn to page 19 and commence 'Chapter 2, Common Defensive Theories and their Derivation.' There will be no need to talk," Umbridge said, partly regaining her regular posture.

"Too bad she wasn't so mad at the bros she didn't give us anything to do," Dean sighed.

"Too bad, mate," Ron said, patting his classmates back.

He noticed that Hermione's hand was up again, just like last week.

"What is it this time, Miss Granger?" Umbridge said as she bent down to talk to Hermione without the rest of the class hearing.

It was easy to say that Umbridge, although not fully, was back to her old self.

"I've already read Chapter 2," Hermione said.

"Then proceed to read Chapter 3," Umbridge said.

"I've already read that too, I already read the entire book," Hermione said.

"Is that so? Then tell me what Slinkhard says about counter-jinxes in Chapter 15."

"He says that counter-jinxes are improperly named. He thinks that 'counter-jinx' is just a name people give their jinxes when they want them to sound more acceptable," she answered. "But I disagree, Mr. Slinkhard doesn't like jinxes does he? But I think they can be very useful when they're used defensively."

"Oh, you do, do you? Well I'm afraid it is Mr. Slinkhard's opinion, not yours that matters within this classroom, Miss Granger," Umbridge said.

"Actually, I agree with Hermione," Al said. "If you kill someone, the government will say that you are to blame and will punish you. However, if you kill someone because he attacked you without a good reason, you will be praised for being alert and defending yourself. It all depends on the circumstances."

"That is enough. Miss Granger, I am going to take 5 points from Gryffindor house for giving your opinion on a matter that you now very little about," Umbridge said.

"But, me and Al know quite a lot about this, even if we are new to magic. We've been attacked many times, and had to defend ourselves using the same techniques they did. It's just the same with your magic. If someone attacks you, you have to use a spell to deflect or evade it," Ed argued.

Umbridge seemed determined to ignore the two alchemists, plus the ghost of a Brigadier General.

"I am here to teach you using a Ministry-approved method that does not invite students to give out their own opinions. Your previous teachers in this subject may have allowed you more liscence, but none of them, with the exception of Quirrell who did at least appear to have restricted to age-appropriate subjects, would've passed a Ministry inspection."

"Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher, there was just the minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head," Harry said loudly.

"Whoo, that is a bit of a minor setback isn't it?" Hughes said shaking his head, "Good help is hard to find these days, isn't it?"

He nudged Ed with his foot as he said that. Edward felt his head was just doused with extra icy water.

"What's that supposed to mean!? I'm trying to find a way to get back home! Isn't that help enough?" Ed yelled.

"But, still, couldn't you have at least figured out a way to let me exist in Amestris? I wanted to surprise my dear Gracia, but then she might get mad at me for not being there for all this time." Hughes sighed.

Harry glanced oddly at Hughes. _Is he always like this? I don't blame Ed for wanting to shut him up once in a while._

"I think another week's detention would do you some good Potter, for that very untrue statement about Professor Quirrell," Umbridge said sleekly.

Hermione gave Harry a sharp shove before Harry could say anything rash. He settled for just a low growl.

* * *

"Angelina? What are you doing make a loud racket right now? Your disturbing my sleep," Ed yawned early next morning from his seat in the staff table.

"Sorry, Professor, but Potter has gotten another detention," Angelina blushed.

"Eh? Oh yeah, yesterday in DADA," Ed said. "Do you mind to stop shouting for a few minutes so I can sleep some more? I swear, I hate teaching, it'll be the death of me." Ed said with weary eyes.

Ed yawned loudly and widely.

"Perhaps if you didn't study so much every night, you could have some more time to sleep," Hughes laughed.

"I av ta stuee, ooastad," Ed mumbled, placing his head on the table.

"Dad, what did he say?" Al asked, pointing at Ed.

"I have no idea at all," Hughes blinked.

"You're supposed to be in the Investigations Squad, back home?" Al asked, eyebrow raised.

"Hey, you're the genius that can decode the ingredients to a Philosopher's Stone from a_ cookbook_."

Ed snored softly as he slept.

"Poor Ed, I know exactly what to cheer him up with!" Hughes said excitedly.

He swipped out a picture from inside his sleeve, similar to the way he got his push knives.

"Lookie here, Eddy! It's an adorable picture of Elysia on her birthday! The Winry back home was there but you were in the hospital, but look how adorable she is with the teddy bear the Winry gave her that day. I'm sure you've never seen anything more adorable than this. And here's another picture with Winry and Elysia together. Awwww! They look just like sisters don't they!" Hughes gushed.

"I don't know how you stand dealing with him now, and now that I think about it, back in that Amestris," Harry sweat-dropped from his seat at the Gryffindor table.

"You know, I wonder how Ed manages to sleep through Hughes' entire narration," Angelina muttered.

"Brother can sleep through anything," Al laughed. "Except when somebody says the word 'little' or something like that."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL AN ATOM WOULD BE GIANT COMPARED TO HIM?" Ed reacted on impulse.

"Told you," Al said.

"Whoa, one mention of the word and he goes crazy," Ron exclaimed.

"Once, we were on a train that was hijacked when he was sleeping and one of the hijackers called him a 'runt' and brother nearly punched him to death. He didn't even know that they were hijackers," Al laughed.

"He wasn't kidding..." Fred said.

"When he said never to call him short," George finished.

"Finally some people understand not to call me short," Ed sighed happily as he nestled his head back into the crook of his arm.

"Hello, Professors Elric, what was that racket earlier?" McGonagall asked as she walked back to the Staff Table from the other end of the Slytherin table.

"Somebody called me small," Ed grumbled, folding his arms tightly.

She herself had learned the wrath of Ed when Umbridge unwisely called him shrimp.

"I see, but please, do not make sure a large racket next time," McGonagall said.

"Yeah, yeah..." as Ed drifted off to sleep again.

"Is he always like this?" McGonagall asked Al.

"Not always, but whenever we pull an all-nighter, he can sleep for the entire day," Al sighed. He said softly, and hesitantly, "Shrimp."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A TINY SHRIMP SO SMALL A WHALE CAN'T EAT IT BECAUSE IT'LL GO THROUGH ITS BALEEN PLATES!(3)?"

"Ummm, Ed? Whales don't eat shrimp," Hughes said, raising an eyebrow.

"Eh? They don't?" Ed asked.

"Nooo..." Hermione said, looking oddly at her teacher.

"What are you pulling an all-nighter for?" McGonagall asked, glancing at him.

"We figured there's something fishy about how Voldie came back. Some tyrant like him wouldn't stay low for 14 years. Maybe less than that, but he would still be doing something at least. But in the 14 year period, I haven't figured anything suspicious, besides the many events that occurred here at Hogwarts, but that only began about 5 years ago. If Voldie's anything like Envy, there's no doubt that he'll be planning on infiltrating the Ministry. So either he couldn't do anything or he really did come back," Ed said. "But that's impossible since we're the only ones in this world who knows how to bring some one back."

"You're getting all the credit for figuring out the infiltration! I was the one who did all the work!" Hughes pouted.

"You could ask Albus about the details...unless..." McGonagall trailed off, looking at Harry.

"I'd rather Professor Dumbledore tell him," Harry said, looking uneasy.

Ed glanced between the two. Then he understood. Harry must have seen what happened.

"If you don't mind, I need to go prepare for my next lesson," Ed said, getting up. "I wish Umbridge inspected my class when it was for the seventh years, it would've been so much more ev-interesting."

"It was pretty funny looking at her through those cage bars," Hughes laughed. McGonagall looked as if she wanted to ask what they wee talking about, but she decided against it.

"I say she's a frog chimera, what about you Al?" Ed said, glancing at Umbridge on the other side of the table glaring beadily at the students.

"I say that you're too rude," Al glared.

"Hmph," Ed said, crossing his arms.

"Where is your father?" McGonagall asked, looking around.

"Huh? Oh, he's just in the library to figure out a circle to go home. No offense, but this library seriously lacks in the alchemy department," Ed said.

"The equations for the Gate are just too complex for your information," Al sighed.

"Didn't you say that your dad could go between to two worlds though?" Hughes asked, confused.

"Yeah, but he said that since he is Stone, it automatically let's him pass...I don't get it either, but either way, he doesn't need the transmutation circle, and this is too big to just clap my hands for. Hm. Oh, I know an example. You know how Envy came to this side? He shouldn't have been able to do that, but, he forced his way through. Well apparently you need to be a Philosopher's Stone to get through, like Dad, or like me, if it was part of a sacrifice," Ed said.

"Professor Elric!" a voice gasped as a figure came running to them.

"Winry!" Ed said, face brightening. "Have you fixed...er...made me a new automail yet?"

"Yep! You couldn't believe how long it took to develop a schematic for this thing, but I have to admit, it's probably the best thing I'll ever make! And don't you go breaking this again!" Winry scolded.

Ed sighed, exactly like the old Winry Rockbell.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll take care of it," Ed muttered, taking the new automail. He weighed it in his hands. "Whoa, this is so light!" It's even lighter than the one that Wi-...er, my old mechanic made for me."

"Yep, I charmed it to make it lighter, but it's slightly heavier than the trash heap you gave me, so I suppose that if my magic isn't strong enough to be permanent, it should be as heavy as your old one. I also added a weapon in it. Just thought you needed it," Winry said, as if she was talking about a lover.

Ed and Al sweatdropped. It was just like that man in Rush Valley(5) who made one of those for that girl. Ed made a face as he was about to put his new and improved (4) automail in. He shoved it in, to make it fast, but still grunted loudly at the pain. He hadn't had automail in quite a while, so the pain was even more alarming.

"It hurts?" McGonagall asked, intrigued.

"Hell yeah, I'm attaching it to my nerves, so of course it hurts." He sighed, "Well, we'd better get going."

* * *

(1)- I never understood that phrase...

(2)- Yes, I know that Al would probably not bring those up, but the only list I could make was including the homunculi stuff.

(3)- As you can see, I'm running out of 'short' cracks. I'll think of some more though!

(4)- That completely contradicts itself! And sorry for these little A/Ns every now and then :)

(5)- I forgot both there names! Do you know why? Well my dad BLOCKED any site with manga in the name the day I edited this part. RAWR


	8. Chapter 8

**When I was writing this chapter, I started reading Loveless, Chrno Crusades, Yu Yu Hakusho, Rave Master,**** 666 Satan (or part of it), and**** finished and reread D.Gray-Man A LOT, so sorry if Edward is being OOC. **

**Oh, and updates are going to slow, my dad blocked the internet except for one hour in the morning. And, even worse, my Microsoft Word is acting funny. It's like, if I open, it and do something, it'll say it's not responding : P Sorrrrry.  
**

Ed yawned. He was standing outside Professor Dumbledore's office.

"Lemon Drops," he muttered.

"Brother, you shouldn't pull so many all-nighters. You can barely stay awake as it is."

"Do you want me to wait until you two finish your conversation?" the gargoyle asked impatiently.

"Just hurry up and let us in, before I decided to redecorate you," Ed groaned.

"Brother!"

"If you've finished threatening my gargoyle, please enter," Dumbledore said, as he turned a corner to face the two boys.

The gargoyle jumped out of the way to reveal a passage leading upwards. The boys walked into it to find a circular room full of tinkling and whirring instruments on spindly desks. Ed raised his eye at all the silver instruments, thinking just what would happen either of the Winry's were left alone in a room like this. He shivered slightly.

"Why did you want to see me?" Dumbledore asked mildly.

"About the Triwizard Tournament last year. Oh and, before I forget, do you mind if I check out the Sorting Hat? Remember last time when I told you about Al's body? Well, we forgot to ask, but Sorting Hat seems like it has a soul sealed to it," Ed said eyeing the ragged patchy hat.

"A soul sealed on it? That's the first time I've heard of it, but nevertheless, Hogwarts did form a thousand years ago, and the founders would surely know of alchemy," Dumbledore said as he waved his wand and the Sorting Hat flew into Ed's outstretched arms.

"Let's see, the seal could be anywhere, hidden in the seams, covered over with magic, anywhere. Might as well just ask him, it's worth a shot," Ed said, looking inside the hat to find nothing but more patches, "Here Al, you do it, since you were sealed before," Ed said, handing the hat to Al.

"Ummm, ok," Al said, putting the hat on uncertainly. He looked above him to see the rim of the hat flopping over his bangs.

"Interesting...I don't believe it's time for the new sorting, unless I've mistaken. I haven't even written the new song yet," the Sorting Hat said curiously.

"No, it's not time yet, but I was wondering, are you a sealed soul?" Al asked nervously. This was the first time that he talked to another sealed soul. Well besides the time with Barry the Chopper. But he was a convict. And not on Al's head.

"Hahaha, I don't think I've ever met a person as smart as you. You're the first to figure out I'm a sealed spirit since when I was sealed on more than a thousand years ago! Oh I see, you were sealed on to a suit of armor at one point," the hat laughed.

"But how are you able to move? When I was in the armor, I could only move the limbs, and stuff, but unlike you, I couldn't move my mouth," Al asked, curious.

"I was made from a special combination of magic and alchemy, thus I can move myself however I please," the Hat said smugly, moving the rim of the hat to demonstrate.

Ed decided to ask a question too, "How are you able to read minds? You're supposed to be a soul sealed within a hat, so isn't it impossible to read minds by just putting you on?"

"Well, you're brother could still do alchemy while I was on it, wasn't he? It's the same thing. Obviously, I'm a wizard, so I can still do wandless magic since I have no hands to put a wand in, so I use Ligilemens."

"One more question, before I leave to you to do whatever you want, who are you, really?"

"The question I was hoping you were going to ask, well I knew you were going to ask it, but, I am," he paused dramatically, "Godric Gryffindor," he thundered dramatically.

"Godric Gryffindor?" Dumbledore asked, eyes wide. Not much could surprise the old man, but this would definitely be one of them.

"Yes, as I'm sure you know, I was the first of the 4 founders to die, killed by Slytherin. Rowena was a brilliant alchemist as well as a witch. She was able to get my soul back from the Gate by using magic and grabbed the closest thing, which was my hat."

"Well, these students should be honored to be judged by one of the founders himself!" Dumbledore laughed a deep chuckle.

"Who knew the Gryffindor would be such a great song writer," Al joked.

"Yeah, if it wasn't for the fact that you were a founder of Hogwarts, you could get rich from writing songs," Ed said sarcastically.

"Aren't you forgetting what you're here for in the first place?" the Sorting Hat glared...if hats could glare.

"Huh? Oh yeah, old man, so can you tell me exactly what happened last, um, June?"

"Last June...Do you mean the last task in the Triwizard Tournament?"

"Uh, well whenever this Moldy Wart guy came back to life," Ed said.

"If he ever heard you call him Moldy Wart, you'll probably be dead soon, of course he already wants to kill you since he's under Envy's influence," Dumbledore laughed.

"Hmph, I don't care about dieing."

"Brother, you'll get yourself killed someday...or maybe worse, you only care about other people, never yourself," Al said quietly.

"Quite a brave lad in that case, if it wasn't for that awful attitude, he'd do wonderful in my house, but still, I don't judge anybody by what house they're in, unlike that _Slytherin_," Gryffindor sighed.

"So...can you tell me everything you know about what happened that night?"

"Of course, this will be a long story, though-"

"No need, I just need the basic outline of what he did that night."

"I see, well, he simply had my Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Mad-Eye Moody, who was actually an imposter, turn the Triwizard Cup into a portkey and he helped Harry throughout the maze to make sure that he was the first one to touch the portkey. Once Harry and Cedric had touched the cup, they were transported to a graveyard where Peter Pettigrew killed Cedric. Pettigrew took a bone from Tom Riddle Sr., some blood from Harry, and cut his own hand off. He put it in a cauldron along with the thing that Voldemort was sealed in." Dumbledore said.

"Brother does that mean that Voldemort got his body back from being sealed somewhere?" Al asked, alarmed.

"...I think so!" Ed gasped.

"Of course I do not know nearly as much as you about alchemy, but please, do explain."

"An infant can open the Gate, if there is the right transmutation circle drawn on it, which can get Voldemort's body back, first of all. Next, this Peter person got a bone, some blood, and flesh, the main components of a body, with magic, I think that you can multiply it and make it grow. His soul, I'll figure that out, but he might also be a homunculus...anyway if there is a soul, the two would accept each other basically and revive a person," Ed sighed, shaking his head.

"I see...in that case, I have some information that might startle you. You see, Voldemort has figured out a way to separate his soul, and attach it on to different items, called Horcrux, Horcruxes in plural," Dumbledore sighed.

Ed sighed in relief, "That means he's not a homunculus."

"Edward, you know about the homunculus?" Gryffindor asked. suddenly

"Well...yes...?" Ed said, wondering all of a sudden if he was insane for talking to a _hat_.

The hat sighed, "Those damned homunculi controlled by Salazar Slytherin sure put up a good fight."

"The homunculi...the Stonehenge...?" Ed gasped as he put two and two together.

"But the Stonehenge was made thousands of years ago wasn't it?" Al asked, confused.

"Yes, but there were a select few Seer's who were able to predict the formation of homunculi, they also predicted that there would be a great controller of them," the hat said bitterly.

"Wait a minute, those homunculi...they could still be alive. Did you kill them all?" Ed gasped.

"There were only four of us, but we managed to defeat all 7 of the homunculi! I'm not sure what other homunculi have been created though," Gryffindor apologized.

"I see, I'll be on a lookout for an Orborous," Ed sighed.

"Be warned, there are more homunculi than the seven sins, there can be other sins," Gryffindor warned.

Ed blinked, this was new information for him.

"What do you mean by there are more though?" Ed asked cautiously.

"There can be more than just those seven sins, any trait considered a sin can be formed into a homunculus such as Betrayal, Lie, Suicide, you get it?" Gryffindor asked.

"I see...If you don't mind, we'll be going to the library, we need to find out who those other homunculi are as soon as possible," Ed said.

"I understand, come if you never need any help," Dumbledore said.

Ed got up and Al set down the hat gently and quickly followed his brother out, all the while thanking Dumbledore for invaluable information **(1)**.

"Hughes, you heard all that right?" Ed asked. When Hughes nodded, Ed said, "Good, now your investigation skills come in."

"Right-o! Now, on a lighter note, feast your eyes on my beautiful, adorable...Elysia!"

Ed sighed and smiled slightly at the happiness in Hughes's voice. Unknown to them, a figure was watching them from the shadows.

* * *

In a grand room, there was a androgynous person sitting sloppily at the center of the room, in a large throne-like chair. About 3 dozen other men and women were kneeling along the two sides, with what looked like a snake chimera on the opposite side.

"Master Envy, I thought that you said you would be back in a week," a masked man asked timidly.

"Well, change of schedule, I did a little detour, it should be in the _Prophet _tomorrow," Envy smirked.

"May I ask, just what did you do?" another man asked.

"Let's just say that I obliterated a city," Envy grinned maliciously.

"Is there any news you know of about Potter and that Elric boy?" Voldemort asked, not daring to look Envy in the eye.

"Hm, I just got news from one of the other homunculi that the two of them are getting Maes Hughes to help them find out who the other homunculi are. Hm, this will be troublesome,** (2)**" Envy said.

"How is it troublesome?" one of the women asked from the side.

"Because, I can't do anything to a ghost. And even if I could exorcise him, I'd have a hell of a time of doing it with Hohenheim there," Envy said, looking at the woman.

"I-I see."

"Hm, so you just need to get rid that Hohenheim person?" Voldemort asked, the wheels in his head working furiously.

"Yes," Envy said, turning back to Voldemort.

"Will this work..." Voldemort said, explaining his plan gathering more courage as he went along.

"Heh heh, it might just work," Envy said, smirking.

* * *

"Let's just hurry up to the library," Ed yawned. "I want to get into the restricted section. Hopefully there's something helpful in there."

"Who else could be a homunculi?" Hughes asked, floating along with them to the library.

"Hm, well Pride was the leader, Sloth was his assistant, and the rest didn't have much outside connection, did they? Well Lust did date Havoc for a while, didn't she?"

"Well the leader of this place would be that Corny Chocolate guy?" Ed asked.

"...it was Cornelius Fudge..." Hughes said, sweat-dropping at what Ed's butchering of the Minister's name.

"Oh yeah..."

"Well his assistant is Umbridge I think," Hughes said, thoughtfully.

"Umbridge? Well I can totally see her as a homunculi," Ed said.

"Yeah, but the world's not divided into homunculi and regular people," Al reminded him.

"Does she have any sin traits?" Hughes asked.

"She likes to torture poor little kids, that should count," Ed said.

"How does she like to torture poor little kids?" Hughes asked, upside down. He seemed to like being odd in ever way possible to Ed and Al. I mean, being a ghost, showing off his daughter every second he could, liking to hang upside down, etc.

"My detention! She cut my hand open!"

"Hm, well it is you, so it doesn't really count, does it?" Hughes smirked.

"HUGHES!" Ed shouted. He was immediately shushed by the Madam Pince. He grumbled under his breath.

"Fine, fine, but has she shown any sin traits besides that one?" Hughes gave in.

"No, but the Fuhrer didn't show any traits did he?" Al asked.

"Well there was his great ability to fight. He was 'blind' in one eye, or at least it was covered up, but he could still defeat anybody without alchemy," Hughes said.

"Well you have to be strong to be the Fuhrer, so maybe since he couldn't do alchemy, he just used that as a cover-up," Al said.

"True. This is hard, Sloth didn't show any traits either though," Ed commented.

"She didn't seem very slothy at all, did she?" Al agreed.

"That means that anybody could here could be a homunculus," Hughes sighed.

"The only way we could find out who it is, is if they shouted 'I'M A HOMUNCULUS!" Ed sighed.

"Or if they come back to life after they die, but we can't really go around stabbing people off the street to see if they regenerate," Al said.

"Do you think that homunculi can control their regeneration powers? Like if they get hurt, can they choose not to get the regeneration done?" Hughes asked all of a sudden.

"I don't know. Why?" Ed asked.

"It'll be harder to find someone if cuts aren't healed immediately after they are inflicted. They might be able to turn off the power and heal at a regular person's rate, so they've got another way to be hidden," Hughes explained.

"But either way, we can't just cut everybody we see and see if it heals quickly or not," Al reasoned.

"We can ask dad, he's got a Philosopher's Stone in him, it might work the same way," Ed said.

"It's not _in_ him, more like, he is it," Al said, "So it might work no matter what. Like a self-preservation automatic thing."

"It can't hurt to try," Ed said. "Dad said he was going to be in the restricted section right?"

Ed leaned over the rope dividing the section students could stay, and the restricted section. It was very messy, with books all over the place and Hohenheim studying the books around him.

"Did you find anything?" Hughes asked, floating through the rope as Ed and Al climbed over it.

"Nothing important," Hohenheim said, still poring over the books.

"The Sorting Hat told us that it's possible for other sins to become homunculi, not just the Seven Deadly Sins," Ed said.

"I know," Hohenheim said, "I just figured that out about, "he glanced at the clock," an hour ago. And shouldn't you be somewhere else right now?"

"Huh? Oh, fuck," Ed cursed.

"You're already...five minutes late," Hughes informed them.

Al bolted out, dragging Ed behind him, who was currently shouting "Al!"

"Ah, youngsters," Hohenheim joked.

* * *

Al and Ed arrived to their class as the tardy bell rang.

"That bastard, I thought he meant class already started," Ed growled under his breath.

"Well, it was hilarious seeing your taller, younger brother drag you off," Hughes said. He was sitting at the teacher's desk, with his legs propped up.

"Get out," Ed growled.

"I'm hurt," Hughes said, but nevertheless, he floated out of the chair.

"Now, how many of you guys actually did a transmutation for homework?"

Two hands were raised almost instantly.

"Right...now, someone I can believe? Weasley, if you want to lie, you might as well do a believable one," Ed said.

One Ravenclaw lazily raised his hand. Both Al and Ed recognized him almost immediately as Russel Tringham.

"Tringham, show us," Ed ordered.

Russel took a piece of chalk from his desk and drew a perfect array on the ground. He placed both hands on it and after a burst of blue lightening, the rock turned into a mini version of a tree.

"Good, 50 points to Ravenclaw for being the first one to achieve a transmutation. I really didn't expect anybody to actually make it this week," Al said.

"So, tree boy does alchemy. It's still pointless," a Slytherin sneered.

"10 points from Slytherin. Today, we won't be working that much on alchemy, but I still expect you to practice it. Anyway, we'll be talking about homunculi today," Ed said. Al looked at him curiously.

"I want to see the reactions of the students when they hear it," Ed muttered from the corner of his mouth. But, most of the students had any reaction, besides a confused look.

"So, does anybody know what they are?" Again, Tringham was the only one who raised his hand and was serious about it. Ed nodded at him.

"It's a manmade human," Tringham answered.

"Not exactly, but close. It's the result of a failed human transmutation. Actually, there only have been two successful human transmutations. But not all human transmutations actually make something. There are some times when the alchemist is killed. In fact, there have only been a couple more than five known transmutations where the alchemist actually survived...in Amestris that is," Al answered.

"You said it was illegal before and that-"

"it would probably kill us. So-"

"why do people still do it?" the twins asked.

Ed gave a loud bark of laughter, "That's rich, coming from Fred and George Weasley? Either way, laws are like rules, aren't they? Rules that govern society or some crap like that. And you two. Shouldn't you know better than anyone that rules are always broken?"

"Haha, yeah, but if it's-"

"gonna kill you-"

"why would people want to do it?" again, the twins said.

"The government didn't give the entire story to the public," Ed said. "They thought that the public would be too scared to know that there were immortal things with special powers running around. Like the way that the Ministry won't admit that Voldemort's back."

That led to shocked looks from the students. Hughes meanwhile, smirked. That couldn't be further from the truth. More like the military was over flowing with homunculi supporters, afraid that the public might resist if they somehow figured out the plan and somehow defeat the homunculi. And there was also the master plan that the military higher-ups themselves didn't know they were apart of.

"And yes, homunculi are immortal," Ed said assuming correctly that that was what the students were stunned about.

"But...but...not even You-Know-Who isn't even immortal, and he's the worst there is out there...right?" a girl stuttered.

"Miss, homunculi aren't human. Get that into your head. Voldemort, however, is human. Now, what makes a homunculus so dangerous is what it'll do to get what it wants. In Amestris, it wanted..."

* * *

**(1)- Ya know, I never get why it's called invaluable if it's supposed to be valuable. I always thought meant not valuable. Like with priceless. You'd think something would be worthless if it was priceless right? Like it's so worthless, you can't put a low enough price on it.  
**

**(2)- I had a total Shikamaru moment there XD**


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm not dead! Now...I have to work on the next science stuff....:( My teach is trying to kill us!**

"The homunculi of Amestris wanted a Philosopher's Stone. It's not what they wanted so much that what the stone's were made of," Ed lectured, pacing. "I'm not telling you what the key ingredient is because you haven't proven you need to know what it is. Equivalent exchange. Oh, and because I'm pretty sure that most of you will piss in your pants if I tell you.

"Each of the homunculi has a unique power and our named after the Seven Sins. Lust could change her form at will, a shape-shifter." Al shook his head, this was just like Ed. Using class to give false information and see if anybody would recognize it.

"I thought..." a girl in the back said, blushing furiously.

"Yes?" Edward said, a slow smile creeping up his lips. All the students just felt a shiver run up their back as they saw the sadistic smile.

"Never mind!" the girl muttered, looking at the book in front of her. She seemed not to notice that the book was upside down.

"What was that? I didn't quite catch that," Ed purred sadistically.

"Nothing," she breathed out.

"Alright, Rose, why don't you wait a bit after class, I want to talk to you a bit, like where you learned about the homunculi, if you get what I mean," Ed said.

"Okay," was a soft response that the entire class could hear. It seemed to be all terror and no part of any confidence at all.

The rest of the period went along nice and dandy, without a notable incident, unless you counted the fact that all the students were shivering from the icy tone of their professor.

"So, Rose, or should I say a homunculus?" Ed said, propping his feet on his desk. Although he really was feeling a bit scared of acting so defiant and bold to a homunculus, he needed to appear like he wasn't afraid in any way.

"Smart. Feeding false information," was all that Rose said.

"So, mind telling me who you are, or do we have to go through the entire part where we finally find your name when someone mentions it?"

"You can't do anything to stop us. The Wizarding World will fall because of us," Rose hissed, but still looking as beautiful as her namesake.

"So, who are you, if you're so confident?" Al asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Sloth," Rose hesitated.

"Thank you, see? That wasn't so hard," Ed smirked.

"Well, now that we're all through the hostile things, hello! I'm Maes Hughes," Hughes said cheerily.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Whaaaat?" Hughes pouted, "Oooh! Look at Elysia!"

"If you manage to find a way to make him shut up, I won't be as mad."

"I wouldn't mind it either," Rose said, leaving the room.

Neither of the boys nor did the ghost notice the smirk that danced on her lips.

* * *

"There's been an attack!" Hermione shrieked the next morning as soon as she glanced at the headlines of the Daily Prophet. The Great Hall silenced. Ed and Al were deep in thought. Hughes was just pretending. Envy appearing all of a sudden. An attack.

"McGonagall, do you mind if I see that newspaper? If your done that is," Ed asked. McGonagall handed him the paper, a deep frown etched in her face.

_"City in England Obliterated!_

_...A large green Eastern dragon was seen attacking a suburban city in Western England...Disappeared immediately after attacking,' More like Envy shape-shifted into something else_," Ed snorted.

Al took the paper so he could read a bit too, "_'All of the building's there are all collapsed. In all my years as a dragon tamer, I've never seen this kind of damage caused by a dragon,' says Charlie Weasley.'_

"Well, even if we know who it is, we aren't getting any closer to catching him," Ed sighed.

"Hey, why is Envy even working for him? Shouldn't he be much stronger than Voldie? And I'm sure he doesn't really want followers. Or at least he doesn't care that much," Hughes asked.

Ed mulled over it for a few seconds before saying, "Well, Envy did say that all that crap, er trouble he caused was because he wanted to see us have pain. But you're right, he could have done that even without Voldemort."

"So there's something more," Hughes said.

"Exactly. Perhaps he wants a Philosopher's Stone to...get home maybe? Or to turn human?" Al asked.

"But he hates humans the day that he wants to turn human is the day I--," Ed shook his head, and got cut off by Hughes.

"Is the day you grow another inch," Hughes said joyfully. Ed swiped at Hughes with his right hand. He looked at his right hand in wonder and an evil plan was unraveling in his mind. He set it aside as he went back to the present topic.

"He doesn't hate homunculi, he doesn't even mind helping homunculi. So that should prove there are homunculi here," Al said.

"I thought everything was being hushed up by the Ministry too," Hughes remembered.

"You're right!" Ed gasped. "That means someone is pulling strings either in Daily Prophet, or in the Ministry!"

"I couldn't help but hear you say something about the Ministry. Perhaps you know something that can help the Ministry find the person who sent the dragon?" Umbridge said with a really fake sweetness.

"Well it's probably something you already know, so there really is no point in repeating it, now is there?" Ed smiled sweetly. And fakely.

"Any information is important. We take everything into account," Umbridge answered, not yet dropping the act.

"Well, I don't think that you took the fact that Voldemort's back into account? And just the fact that the three of us took about ten minutes to figure out the information, says that you must've already figured it out, considering you've already got one day," Hughes added.

Umbridge glared. Hughes smiled. Ed smirked. Al couldn't help but smile. Students snickered. Dumbledore chuckled. Filch scowled. Slytherin's sneered.

* * *

Harry nearly choked on his scrambled eggs when he heard Hermione shriek. It took him a couple of seconds before it actually clicked. And when it finally did, a rush of thoughts came crashing into his mind.

A city was attacked. The only Dark Wizard nowadays is Voldemort. But hadn't Dumbledore or someone like that told him that Voldemort would be lying low for a while? So why all of a sudden? And then something went off in his head. What if it wasn't a wizard? What if it was a homunculi? What if it was Envy?

"_City in England Obliterated!  
_

_Yesterday, a large green Eastern dragon was seen attacking a suburban city in Western England. It caused mass disruptions and panic. But the oddest thing is, is that according to all wizards and witches witnessing the attack, and survived, is that the dragon disappeared immediately after attacking. There are so few survivors that I can count them on one hand and still have plenty spare, mind you, I've got 10 fingers. Also, not all of the reports were the same. Some said that the dragon also took the form of a androgynous teenager at times with dark green dreadlocks. It still is yet to be determined whether it is a female or a male. But in both forms, the attacker has caused record high damages. And needless to say, the death toll of the attack is amazingly high. In fact, it hasn't been this high since He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was alive._

_Muggles believe this incident to be the work of a 'terrorist' or a Muggle who, as the name implies, inputs terror into their systems. This tends to cause them to panic and go crazy in fear. Many wizards and witches are also panicking because the dragon seemed to know exactly what to do, not attacking randomly and specifically attacked for the Muggle inhabited buildings. In those buildings, the wizards have less of a chance of survival, despite the already low chances. We just pray that whoever ordered the dragon will not strike again. _

_For those that want a summary of what had happened there. All of the buildings there have collapsed. 'In all my years as a dragon tamer, I haven't seen this kind of damage caused by a dragon,' Charlie Weasley said, a notable dragon tamer." _At this, Ron choked. Hermione spared him a disdainful look before continuing, "_The number of survivers is far less than the number of deaths as mentioned above. Perhaps we'll be getting another Potter--" _Hermiond stopped suddenly and glanced at Harry.

Harry growled under his breath.

"Another crack about you," Hermione said in a small voice.

Ron saw this as another chance to convince Harry to start their own Defence Against Dark Arts class.

"Harry, it's because of stupid teachers like Umbridge that this happens. I mean loads of people dying. They aren't trained well enough in _DADA," _Ron said, emphasizing 'DADA.'

"Ron, you know better than I do that it's practically impossible to kill a dragon," Harry said, raising an eyebrow.

"Not when there a lot of people fighting together," Hermione said.

Harry had a sense of deja vu. Maybe because he already had this argument with Hermione and Ron about ten times already. Who would really learn Defense Against the Dark Arts from _him_? He was supposedly the attention wanting freak who'd do anything to get attention, such as lying about a supposedly dead Dark Wizard.

"For the last time! I'm not doing it!" Harry said in exasperation.

"What's wrong with you teaching us DADA, Harry? It's useful for all of us. Especially with that hag teaching," Ron said.

"Ron!" Hermione said, disapproving of the word 'hag.' "Harry, I've already invited a few people who are interested in meeting this Hogsmeade weekend. I've asked them to meet at the Hog's Head. And I thought...I thought we could ask Professor Elric, both of them...I thought we could ask them to teach as more alchemy."

Hermione obviously was a bit nervous at Harry's reaction.

"What! You know I think they're on You-Know-Who's side," Harry growled.

"I can't believe you!" Hermione hissed. For a second there, Harry thought Hermione looked rather Slytherin-ish, "What has he ever done that made you suspect him?"

"He talks about bringing back the dead!" Harry said. Ron squeaked here. He fidgeted around and looked uncomfortable.

"And what's wrong with that?"

"It's just not possible!" Harry argued. "Even Dumbledore says so. At the end of last year, he said nothing could bring back the dead."

"No. I remember. He said no _magic_ could bring back the dead. It's alchemy," Hermione argued.

"But it goes by equivalent exchange," Harry said. "You can't bring back the dead like that. I don't know why, but you just can't. Plus, isn't alchemy weaker than magic?"

Hermione sighed, "No, and it's possible. As long as you have the ingredients, you can do anything. And that doesn't mean he's with Voldemort."

Ron squeaked again.

"He never shows his arm. Ever," Harry said. He suddenly remembered the metallic machine that was Ed's right arm. Harry furiously pushed out the idea that maybe Ed's other arm was also metal.

"Who wears short-sleeves in this weather?" Hemione shot. "Besides, you've had dreams about Voldemort," another squeak, "and have you ever seen Ed in any of them?"

"Fine," Harry was said grudgingly, "but I still don't trust him."

"But he's still going to teach us," Hermione said. "Think of it this way, now you don't have to teach as much. And look, he's right there. I'm going to go up to him and ask him if he'd like to teach us."

"Wait! How about if we ask the others first? The other people you invited, I mean. See what they say."

* * *

"...You teaching us DADA..." Ed caught. Apparently Harry was having an argument with his two so called best friends. Again.

"I've already invited...Hog's Head. And I thought...Elric...teach us more alchemy," Hermione answered. Ed turned away.

"Hey, Al. Interested in going to the Hog's Head this Hogsmeade weekend?" Ed asked mischeviously.

"Brother!" Al sighed. "It's not our business."

"Yes it is! Hermione mentioned that she wanted to asked us if we would teach them alchemy," Ed said excitedly. It gave them the perfect excuse to snoo-, er _listen in_.

"Do you remember how many times you got in trouble in snooping in places you weren't supposed to?" Al asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Oh yeah, you're right," Hughes said, "Like the time with Lab 5(3), and with Marcoh, and with Scar, and--"

"Hughes!" Ed pouted.

"Sorry, Eddy-kins, but it's true. You're too snoopy," Hughes grinned.

"So we're _not_ going right?" Al asked hopefully.

* * *

Thousands of miles away, Envy was musing in Voldemort's chair. The Death Eaters were surrounding him as he decided to make a command.

"Rose, why don't you attack them? It'd make them stay on their toes. Do tell me their expressions when they find out about it," Envy said. "They'll be trying to eliminate you anyway."

"Alright, Envy," Rose said. "How soon do you want it? They can't do anything until they found out about the old Rose."

"Soon, no doubt the boys and Dumbledore will be trying to kill you, it'll be too dangerous," Envy said after thinking about it. "And with Hohenheim there, it'll be risky even to attack them. Oi Voldy!"

"Yes, Envy?"

"How much longer will it be until Hohenheim will leave?" Envy snarled, impatient.

"Not much, we have to make it sound like it's legitimate," Voldemort said, casting his eyes on the carpet. "Meaning we'll need to make many others here about it first."

* * *

"Brother?"

"Hm?"

"I don't know how you drag me into these things," Al sighed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ed shot back.

"We're going into a pub. To listen to a bunch of teenagers argue," Al answered.

"So?"

"It's snooping."

"Hmf," Ed sniffed.

They were walking down Hogsmeade, heading toward the Hog's Head where they would be 'listening in'.

"Ooh, look! Zonko's Wizarding Joke Shop," Ed said. His familiar evil grin was growing. "Just think about all of the stuff that I could do to Umbridge with that. I'll just alchemify it and make it absolutely wonderful."

"Well I think your forgetting something, Eddy-kins," Hughes said, "She can fire you."

"Well I can actually set her on fire, plus I can make her life here living hell...literally," Ed said. "just remind me to go in there after we're done snoo-, I mean listening in to their conversation."

"So how are we going to enter? We can't really just go up to them and say, 'Oh, we heard about your little meeting. Just thought we'd drop in and listen,'" Al said. He preferred not standing out. That was kind of hard when he was a suit of armor. So, he was making up for it now.

"Of course not, silly. We're going to drop in Yousville style. Nice and dramatic," Ed said. So much for not standing out.

"I don't know how you could be my brother," Al groaned.

"What? Even you had to admit, that entrance was cool. They were all talking about how to over throw Yoki. And then BAM we entered, and I flaunted the deed. Hughes, you should've seen the look on their faces, it was hilarious, you would've like it," Ed laughed.

"And now, we make our entrance," Hughes muttered joyfully. Al sighed. Nothing could ever change his brother. Not even going into a whole new world.

"Hello there kiddos," Ed said cheerfully, acting oblivious to the frightened looks the students were sending to Harry and Hermione.

"Hello...Professor," Hermione managed to choke out. What was going on! She hadn't invited him...yet.

"Now, I heard this interesting story around Hogwarts. That a bunch of students were invited to the Hog's Head today to start a Defense Class for themselves since that hag wouldn't teach anything," Ed said, pulling up a chair.

"You're information networks are impressive," Fred grinned.

"Hahaha, I call it listening into other people's conversations, like it?" Ed grinned back.

"Yeah, something that _somebody_ should stop doing, brother," Al said, also pulling up a chair.

"Plus, you've got really good timing," George piped."Granger was just talking about you."

"Yes, yes, I know. I'm a man of many talents," Ed joked pretending to bow.

"Now, as I was saying," Hermone began, "I was thinking that we should ask you to teach us alchemy."

"I'm flattered," Ed grinned.

"So you'll do it?" Hermione asked hopefully.

"No."

"What!?" Hermione exclaimed.

"I said no."

"I heard that. But why?"

"I'm a busy man. I have to find a way to get back home, and do something here that I can't tell any of you guys about," Ed said, eyes pausing at Rose and smirking.

"Think it over, please?" Hermione begged. Harry really didn't know why she was obsessing over this so much. It was just alchemy, which was kind of useless.

"Well, as I'm the youngest State Alchemist, my price is quite high. And I shan't forget the many times that I saved towns and cities from destruction. Not to mention the uncovered plots within the military itself, and I must mention that I'm the only one who has ever transmutated a soul," Ed said nonchalantly.

"Stop drawing it out, brother," Al sighed.

"Hey! You just ruined the mood. Anyway, I'll do it if you people make Umbridge's life as horrible as possible," Ed smirked. Hermione looked absolutely shocked. Of course she had known about Ed's hatred of Professor Umbridge, but wasn't this going a bit too far?

"Of course I'm sure that Fred and George will agree, anybody else?" Ed grinned.

"Don't agree to that. He's going to make your life horrible...and Umbridge's too I guess. But especially your life," Al warned.

"Hey! That was only one time!"

"Three."

"No, for those other two times, I said 'Trust me,'" Ed pouted. (4) By this time, the students were exchanging worried looks.

"Same thing. Either way, they listened to you," Al smirked.

"Hmf," Ed slouched. "But anyway, we got a deal?"

"You wanna put a vote in it?" Harry asked.

"Sure," Al shrugged.

"All in favor of Ed teaching, raise your hand," Hermione announced. Only a couple 'shady characters' as Harry so eloquently put it, kept their hand down.

"Well, it's obvious it's majority," Hermione decided. "We'll give you the details of the meetings in class. Or at least who has the closest class that day."

"Okay," Ed shrugged. He didn't really care. As long as he could make sure these kids don't die because they lose their wand. Really, that'd be a very stupid way to die, wouldn't it?

"So, if everybody can sign this paper..."

* * *

"That was boring," Ed yawned.

"_You _were the one that wanted to go," Al reminded.

"But I didn't expect them to argue _half an hour_ about where to meet, when to meet, and those boring stuff. It's much more interesting when they're planning it out to defy Umbridge," Ed pouted.

"You're back early. I see you've taken another step in tormenting Umbridge?" Hohenheim chuckled from behind them.

"Yep! I can't wait until my plan is set in motion!"

"I'd hate to find out what happened to Mustang if you're this annoyed at the teacher," Hohenheim said.

"..." Ed said, giving his father shifty looks.

"..." Hohenheim was a little unnerved by that look.

"Anywaaay," Ed started with a falsely cheery voice, "How far are you with Philosopher's Stone research?"

"Barely got anything done. Although I've been thinking, if I'm your dad, then you must have inherited at least some sort of Philosopher's Stone properties. Like when you did the human transmutation, did anything weird happen, or did you see more than you were meant to, but didn't pay the equivalent exchange? Or perhaps when you bypassed normal equivalent exchange?" Hohenheim urged.

"Well...there was that time...when I was trying to bring Al back to life...(4)" Ed said hesitantly. "I offered my life, but then, all that happened was that Al lost four years of memory."

"That makes sense," Hohenheim muttered.

"So why didn't it work when we tried to bring Mom back?" Ed said suddenly furious. "I would've given some of my memories of her to bring her back!"

"You did it nearly two years after Trisha died didn't you?" Hohenheim continued, not waiting for an answer, "Well, by that time, the soul had already moved on, into this world, possibly already used to. But for Al, he had just recently died, same with the other way around, when Al brought you back. Al used the Philosopher's Stone he was made out of to bring you back and heal up your wound. You used your own Stone to bring him back, but since it wasn't a pure one, somethings were also lost. Well not lost, exactly, more like you coming into this world and him losing part of his memory."

Ed and Al stayed silent, and Hoehnehim went on, "The Truth works in a funny way. It's not always materialistic things that he's after. As long as there is equivalency, he's happy. In that case, you two were being separated. Ed, you've always felt that Al was alive, didn't you? And you always felt like you two would never be together again. So the yearning hurt more and you just couldn't move on. And Al, losing part of your memory made you want to learn more about your brother that you would never remember again."

"So how come we met each other again?" Al asked. "Isn't Truth the force that makes the world go around?"

"Truth doesn't control fate. It sets the laws and the equivalency, but it can't control everyone's moves. He couldn't have controlled Dietland Eckhart not to make the portal. He couldn't have controlled Wrath to open the portal."

"So was it a fluke that we met each other again and had the chance to see each other again?" Ed asked.

"Everything in both worlds came from a fluke," Hoenheim answered. "Nothing is meant to happen, and anything can happen."

Ed fell silent. So many things that were supposed to be impossible had happened, and so many things that were meant to happen had failed.

"If we both lost something, does that mean the Philosopher's Stone parts in us are gone?" Al asked, changing the subject.

"Well, it's possible that the Philosopher's Stone doesn't always show its traits. There could be times when it shows, there could be times when it doesn't show, however, it will usually react with red water, since it's the raw form."

"Like that time in Lab 5!" Al exclaimed, remembering it.

"I stepped in red water and it gave me all this power that I could use, but I couldn't control it," Ed said quietly. "My head hurt so much, it was like it was splitting open."

"There was probably because it wasn't a good ratio of red water to the Stone in you," Hohenheim said. "The red water over powered the Stone and that led to that. Usually, red water would kill a person, so that would be some proof that you have inherited at least _something_ from me."

The room was silent, but not for long. There was a bloodcurling shriek that went off.

* * *

(1)- I don't know any English cities and stuff :) just deal with it

(2)- I know, I know, again, I just needed to bring up some bad moments, cuz at the moment, I haven't really been reading FMA at all, so I can't remember anything.

(3)- As far as I know, these three incidents have not occured, but I'm too lazy to scour my brain for them XD.

(4)- Remember, Hohenheim didn't meet Ed in either of the times Ed traveled to our world

For those people that don't understand the last part, it's not that they have Stones inside them or they are a stone. It's like a mix of regular human blood and a small portion of Stone in their blood. Since it's not equal, and the Stone can't overpower the human blood and make that into part of the Stone, they are an impure Stone. They only have a small trait of the Stone that doesn't always show.


	10. Chapter 10

**Ugh, this chapter was a pain to write. I had to rewrite a couple times cuz I didn't like how it turned out and what I got was…_this_. Please don't hate me too much for this chapter, I reaaaaally suck at writing fighting scenes. And I've been making you wait so long for such a crappy chapter, but pleeeease don't hate me :( **

**And yes, I'M ALIVE!  
**

Ed scrambled out of his seat, nearly knocking it over, and Al and Hoenheim followed him as he ran full speed toward the corridor where the scream seemed to have originated.

The scene that stood before them startled the two boys, and even Hohenheim was surprised. After living for more than a couple centuries, nothing was _supposed _to surprise you, but of course, life never follows rules.

The previously dank and empty corridor was covered with vines, leaves, and flowers. Every inch of the golden brown stones were covered with leaves, twitching in surprise at the sudden arrival of three new people. Flowers lifted themselves off the floor, and turned to the attacker, as if waiting for an order. Ed was unnerved by the rich blood red color the flowers were.

Three of the students huddled in the corner of the room, struck with fear. One of them, Hermione, whimpered in terror. The leaves twitched and Hermione shrieked again. Ron reflexively wrapped an arm around her, although his eyes were just as afraid. The leaves twitched again as the vines slithered toward the two boys. They reminded Harry horribly of the snakes that he'd think Voldemort would have at his side.

"Nice, aren't they," the silhouette of a girl said. Her fingers brushed against her lips as she looked fondly at the vines and branches that were twisting up her other arm affectionately.

"Heh," Ed chuckled scornfully. The girl, Rose, not to his surprisement, looked questionably at Ed.

"What? Did you really fall for my lie?" Rose asked. "Hm, and I was berating myself yesterday for making such a horribly done lie. Maybe your brain _is_ proportionate to your size."

"Oh, no, it's not that. It's just that we can't believe you'd attack so soon," Al said, covering up Ed's mouth as he turned red as he waved his fists and legs angrily in the air. He didn't like the comment about his size much.

Ed managed to pry Al's hand off, snickered and said, "I guess my brain is proportionate, after all, I'm so smart and tall. Smart enough to realize that you just dyed your hair so we didn't realize you're the opposite of the Rose we met in Lior."

"Not bad, Envy ordered me to when he found out that you had arrived." Rose grinned. "Just like how he ordered me to attack."

She relished the looks of her opponents' faces as she said the forbidden name to them, 'Envy.' "But, since I've got all the time in the world, being immortal, and since I've got three innocent lives in my hands, why don't we talk a bit? Like about how you knew that I wasn't Sloth."

"You obviously made up it on the spot. You knew you shouldn't say who you really are, just like Envy told you, perhaps," Ed said, "You hesitated after you said the first 'S..' It's nothing an amateur would notice. Of course, if you're in or were in the Amestris military, as Envy knows full well, you have to stay on guard at all times."

"Not bad, not bad at all," Rose laughed lightly, "but even if you did know that, you still can't stop me."

Ed, before anybody noticed, clapped his hands with a thundering sound and a large rock shaped spike shot out of the ground. With a small 'Oh,' it stabbed right into Rose's stomach. Her blood splattered on the stone; the shapes reminded the brothers of the flowers. Many of the vegetation closer to her had been soaked with her blood, leaving an eerie feel.

The vines and such all fell limp.

Although Harry was quite glad that their lives weren't in danger anymore, they couldn't help but feel that Ed had gone too far. Apparently Hermione felt the same way, by the way she paled and yelped. Hermione tightened her already painful grip on Ron. Ron swore that it was bleeding by that time.

"..Y-you d-did-n't h-ha-have t-ta go th-that far," Hermione stuttered, as she clutched Ron's shirt tightly with h.

"Waait for it," Ed said, eyes trained on Rose. "Just watch. She'll come back alive."

"Darn.. I was hoping to kill them before you mentioned that. Guess I didn't move fast enough, eh?" Rose giggled. She made motion - she swung her arms in an 'X' shape in front of her as if she was cutting something - and the vines crumbled the rock as if it was nothing more than paper.

"Hmm," Rose said, feigning thoughtfulness, "I _do _recall saying that we were supposed to be just talking, no fighting or anything violent like that. Really, boys these days. They don't listen to a word anyone says these days. Especially that Mustang, if what Envy told me was true, which I'm supposing is."

"Don't talk about that Bastard like that! He might be shit, but he's still a hundred times better than you," Ed yelled angrily, pointing a finger at Rose.

She yawned, looking unimpressed.

If Harry hadn't been so scared that he nearly pissed in his pants, he would have sweat-dropped. What kind of person was insulted a person while defending them...

Ed went on, "Of course he is a hell of a bastard, but he still did his best to help Amestris."

"If you're done," Rose yawned, "can we got on with this?"

She extended her arm without waiting for an answer. The vines and branches moved forward with amazing agility and attacked Ed before he was prepared. He grunted from the pain as some vines scraped his skin as he dodged. That was the moment that he realized that there were small thorns on the vines that weren't there before. He let out a low chuckle as he wiped some of the blood of his right cheek.

"Surprised?" Rose giggled. "I bet you didn't think I'd be able to grow thorns that quickly."

"Surprised?" Ed asked, repeating the question. "Of course not. I'm just laughing at the fact that your plants are so much weaker than Russel Tringham's of Amestris. I don't have to worry about them. In fact, they should be an insult to anyone who uses plants as their alchemic power."

"What...did...you...say!?" Rose screeched. She leapt forward like a cat, forgetting about her powers and her plants. Anger clouded her senses and movements. Ed took advantage of that and jumped out of the way at the last minute. She managed to stop herself before she crashed into the wall behind him. She turned back to Ed and Al and they noticed that she cooled down a bit.

Ed went right back to making her mad.

"Even a monkey could have done that," Ed scoffed. "In fact, a monkey might actually be able to come in contact with me. And really, that reaction after just a liiittle insult. I think you'd do better as Pride."

Rose blanched, "That idiot? Puh-lease, anybody who knows him would hate him. Kind of like you."

The three students stayed huddled together, watching the insults back and forth between the two enemies. Al shook his head sadly. Really, his brother being so reckless...not to mention idiotic.

"Can you back up your words?" Rose hissed..

She leaped at him again and this time, with the back up of plants. Al clapped his hands and a slab of rock that seemed to just sprout from the ground crushed the plants. Ed, this time, was preparing himself to face Rose as he expected her to turn and face him. However, Rose feinted running too fast again. Her hand stuck out from her sides and the vines shot out from inside her sleeves.

Ed gasped as he attempted to dodge. He managed to dash out of the way of most of them, but one of the vines managed to scrape his arm. He grunted at the pain. He glanced at his arm quickly, to estimate the damage done. Blood had soaked his red coat. He shuddered as he felt another dose of pain flow through him. His right arm was destroyed. There were shards of metal and wires scattered around the ground.

"Do you like it?" Rose giggled. "Some of the vines are coated with poison. And some of the flowers can release a pollen that can paralyze you."

"Brother!" Al cried. He clapped his hands, in an attempt to attack Rose. Suits of armor had clumsily begun to move toward her.

She laughed and said, "Do you really think that these tin cans can really defeat me?"

She easily dodged the first few attacks and crumpled the rest of the advances even without her plants. As she was focusing on the job at hand, she noticed a large blue flash that thundered through the room. She couldn't tell where it had originated, but she could see the trail that the blue light was following and the black outline that was left behind. She tossed some of the armor that was in her line of vision. She froze. She recognized this pattern, this array.

It was Flamel's, the one of the only things that could kill a homunculus. (1)

She whipped a hand out in Al's direction. He was startled and tried to duck out of the way, but it managed to hit him in his torso. Ed stared helplessly as he saw his brother fall as a curtain of blood flowed out of the wound.

"AL!" Ed cried as his brother landed with a dull thud on the ground. Rose turned to him, a feral grin curling on her lips.

Ed didn't move. His eyes were trained on Al's lifeless body. The stinging of his wound brought him back to reality and he looked up to see green vines darting straight at him. His eyes widened as he looked for an exit route. No hand-clapping form of alchemy, no time to draw an array, nowhere to run. He was screwed. He looked at his attackers again, only to find them plopping to the ground.

"Wha-?" Ed gasped. He looked back at Rose. There was a golden chain hung on her arm. Her eyes were also wide in astonishment. She couldn't move. She was frozen in place.

"Ed! Don't do anything rash!" a voice rang from the entrance.

"You're late," Ed spat angrily.

"Well a hero always shows up at the last minute, doesn't he?" Hohenheim smiled slightly.

"Don't talk about something so useless right now! Al's in trouble!" Ed growled.

"Take him to the infirmary," Hohenheim said. "I'll deal with Suicide here."

Ed hesitated a second, before dashing off to Al's aid. He was relieved when he heard Al's breathing, labored and shallow, but it meant he hadn't died…yet. Ed shifted him onto his shoulder, to transport him to the Infirmary, where hopefully, Madam Pomfrey would be able to heal him.

"Brother…" Al coughed.

"Don't say anything, save you breath."

"Don't," Al coughed again, "kill h-her."

Ed seemed to forget about getting him to the Infirmary, and just stared at Al oddly.

"Homunculi, - "a fit of coughing, "change after - " another cough, "the shards leave their body."

Ed looked at his brother again and sighed.

"Dad, just get the Stone shards out, don't kill her…yet," Ed commanded, still staring at Al, "but make sure she doesn't move, just in case."

Hohenheim nodded, and activated the array as Ed ran to the Infirmary.

* * *

Ed paced around the hospital ward. Back and forth. Right, left, right, left. He growled under his breath at the stupid Al who was too noble for his own good, at the stupid homunculi, who were too annoying for their own good, and at the stupid nurse who didn't let him see Al. Something about making sure he could relax properly.

"The nurse still isn't letting us in?" a deep voice asked from across the corridor.

"You! You fucking liar!" Ed growled, pointing an accusing finger at Hohenheim. "You said that the Philosopher's Stone would react and heal Al!"

"I never said that," Hoenheim muttered. He looked sadly at the closed doors. "I said there still was the chance. But now that I think about it, the Philosopher's Stone might have already been used up already..."

Ed opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He closed it, along with his eyes. In a forced calmness, he asked, "What do you mean that he might have already used it up?"

Hoenheim sighed, golden eyes looking directly at Ed.

He said,"How do you think he was able to talk to you for all those years?"

"What does that have to do with this!? I'm asking you why he might have used it up! He was in a suit of armor! There was no way that he could have used it up! He couldn't get hurt at--" Ed stopped mid sentence. He understood.

"Exactly.. He didn't have vocal chords. He couldn't have talked. He might have been communicating telepathically, transferring some of his thoughts to you. " Hohenheim looked at Ed sadly.

"He must have known that something was allowing him to do that," Hohenheim said, "After all, he had all of those sleepless nights to think about it...And to imagine, if I didn't leave to find a way to be mortal again, Trisha might still be alive and you two won't be in this mess."

Edward stayed silent, noticing that his father was starting to talk to himself. He let him be. As he continued pacing, he noticed a figure come up from the side. He paused. It was Rose.

"Ah," Rose said hesitantly. She looked down, "How is he?"

"What do you care," Ed spat bitterly.

"He saved my life," Rose said quietly back, "I might not be human, but I can think straight now. No stupid stones messing with my head."

"How sweet," Ed said, sarcasm dripping from every letter, "Why don't you play a good homunculus and go off to the corner."

"No," was the blunt reply, "He saved my life, I want to help him, especially considering it was my fault."

Ed snorted, "Glad you can recognize that. At least you're not a total idiot."

"If I wasn't afraid that I would be the only one blamed for your murder, I'd attack you right now," Rose muttered under her breath.

"Wouldn't you still be the only suspect if you killed me earlier in that corridor?" Ed asked in wonderment.

"Well, there, I'd have enough seeds and magic to grow a plant that could kill you the same way I would have ended up killing you," Rose shrugged. She slouched against the cold stone wall.

"How comforting," Ed muttered. "I can see the headlines now 'Freak Herbology Accident: Self-Proclaimed Genius at Alchemist killed by Plants.'"

Rose laughed.

"Eh, I used a lot of my plants against the fight against you," Rose said, "I set a couple, well I guess they're like mines, but it's amazing how you didn't set off any of them. You're lucky sometimes."

"Not lucky enough," Ed said quietly to himself. "I'd rather be dead then to see Al in pain like this."

"Classic hero," Rose noted. She caught sight of Ed's confused expression and said, "You know, doesn't care about anything besides making sure everybody else is okay. He'd die first, and make sure he drags as many of the enemies down with them."

"Well I guess I'm a classic hero," Ed muttered.

"So is Potter," Rose mused. "I started attacking the girl. You know, damsel in distress. And his prince, along with a bumbling fool, comes by and saves the day. Or that's how the story is supposed to go. To bad for Potter. But really, he's like you. He cares a lot about his friends, he'd do anything for them, risking his life and such."

"Hm," Ed hummed.

Rose continued, "In his first year, my third, he could've easily just owled Dumbledore about Quirrell, although the time he thought it was Snape, attempting to get the Philosopher's Stone and just hoped for the best. In the second year, he saved the redhead, Ron I think his name was, anyway the redhead's sister from that basilisk. Third year, he was trying to save Ron from that Sirius dude. The framed Azkaban escapee. They thought he was a mad murderer at the time. Last year, the Triwizard thing. He brought back Cedric's body, although he could've just left him there to rot."

"Ah," Ed hummed. He wasn't paying attention. Just staring at his stump of an arm.

He paled, "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit."

"What?" Rose asked, alarmed.

"Winry's gonna kill me…It's your fault! I'll tell her that you were the one that destroyed my arm!" Ed exclaimed.

"How nice," Rose said dryly.

"You were," Ed all but whined. "It was your stupid plant's fault."

"Deal with it. I'm not taking the blame. I'll have to go talk to Dumbledore anyway. I'll be in enough trouble as it is, although it wouldn't surprise me if he just let me off the hook. He's a bumbling old fool like that," Rose said.

"You deal with that by yourself! Winry's gonna kill me!" Ed grabbed the collar of Rose's robes.

She stared at him and blew a raspberry in his face.

"…Forget Winry killing me. I'm gonna kill you first!" Ed roared.

"Idiot. You've got one arm to hold me, and no other arm to hit me with. Genius, much?" Rose rolled her eyes.

The two of them plopped back down in front of the Infirmary doors.

"I hate you," Ed muttered. ­

"I hate you, too."

"Good."

* * *

"Ah, good evening Ms. Rendon, come in," Dumbledore welcomed. He glanced over the parchment in his hands quickly before setting them aside.

"Ah, hello," Rose said nervously.

"No need to be so nervous. I'm sure you mean no harm now," Dumbledore chuckled. Rose laughed along nervously and cautiously. Did this guy know that with a flick of her fingers, she could make his own desk gobble him up? Not that she'd do it…probably.

"I already talked to Flamel, ah I mean Hohenheim about it. Old habits die so hard," Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling. "Lemon drop?"

"Er, no thanks?" Rose answered uncertainly. Eccentric old fool. She never was comfortable about talking with the headmaster.

"I'm sure your lemon trees could produce much better lemons than the ones used to make these," Dumbledore said, picking a lemon drop out of its wrapper with his long slender fingers.

"Er…" Rose said. She wasn't sure how to answer him.

"Mm," Rose hummed, nervous despite the reassurance. Now that she wasn't a mass murdering psychopath, she did want to make a good impression on Dumbledore. He was after all, one of the few things standing between her life and death. Although she wasn't technically alive. But that's another matter.

"I'm sure you want to get out of here as soon as you can," Dumbledore started, "So I'm going to make this quick. But first, let me ask you a question. Would you betray Envy?"

"Yes," Rose answered without any hesitation. Dumbledore piercing blue eyes focused on her and nothing else for a few moments and he looked away. It was unnerving. It was like he could see her every thought.

"All right," Dumbledore said after another tense moment, "Would you be willing to become a spy for us? Envy has been giving you instructions, I believe. If you would please share that information with us, I would be eternally grateful."

"I would be glad to," Rose smiled. "But there is a slight problem, as that would involve me still being under cover. Envy likes to give instructions face to face, he doesn't trust the owls. Says they're for food, not mail."

Dumbledore chuckled under his breath, and motioned for Rose to go on.

"So the problem is that as I'm sure you know, Voldemort can do Legillimens. He would be able to tell Envy about my, ah, betraying them."

"Hm, that is quite the problem isn't it?" Dumbledore said thoughtfully. "But that'd only happen if Voldemort really is loyal to Envy."

"You mean he's not?" Rose asked bewildered. "He seemed to obey everything Envy said, although I could hear him grinding his teeth together each time Envy ordered him to do something."

"According to one of my spies there, Voldemort has been calling Envy names, that are much more, ah, colorful then calling him one of the 7 sins."

Rose laughed softly, but wasn't very convinced, "Isn't there a chance that he will still tell Envy?"

"If you think about it, Envy's already as furious as anyone, even a homunculi can be at Ed and Al. He would have tried to kill them more times if it wasn't for Hohenheim's presence at Hogwarts," Dumbledore said.

"Oh!" Rose yelped. "Voldemort has a plan or whatever that is _supposed_ to lead Hohenheim away from the castle."

"I know. My servant in his circle told me all about the plans that Envy has revealed so far," Dumbledore said, "But that's not very comforting because as I hear from Hohenheim and the Elric's, he works in secrecy."

"Well they're right," Rose scowled. "As one of the only homunculi, Envy gave me more privileges." She caught the look on Dumbledore's face and said, "I don't know who they are."

Dumbledore sighed and dismissed her solemnly.

Rose stood up, dusted some nonexistent dust off her skirt and went to the door. She felt a shiver down her back, but just brushed it off.

* * *

"You gonna move or what?" the gargoyle outside of Dumbledore's growled. It looked down over its pedestal to see the same blonde hair he'd seen for the last 15 minutes. Or was it 45 minutes? Same difference.

"Yeah, yeah," Ed grumbled. His back _was_ getting sore after sitting next to the ice cold stone for the last few (many) minutes. Of course the iciness did help to stop the swelling of the wrench-shaped bruise on his cheek. Was it just him, or was the Winry here more…forceful?

"Then hurry up and beat it!" the gargoyle growled for the nth time. You'd expect stone to be more patient after being around for a few hundred years. Apparently not.

"And what is this?" a sickly sweet voice asked. Ed inwardly groaned. Whoops. Maybe that one was out loud.

"Ah, Umbridge!" Ed said falsely cheery, "What a _pleasant _surprise."

Umbridge could just feel the sarcasm dripping down from the line. Her expression didn't change, stuck with a sickly smile that made Ed just want to give her a nice hard _smack_ right into the ground.

"You want me to get rid of him?" Filch asked eagerly. Mrs. Norris mewed in agreement.

"No need, as I was just telling Garygoyle here, I was just leaving," Ed said, a fake smile plastered on his face. It was enough to make him want to barf.

"Oi! The name's Gargoyle. _Gar_goyle," the gargoyle muttered darkly.

"That's what I said, Garygoyle," Ed said simply. And before turning away and stomping off, he noticed a stack of paper in Filch's hand.

"What's that?" Ed asked curiously and warily. Anything that made Filch look so happy was bound to be no good to him and/or the students. He mostly cared about him.

"This is a Ministry order -" Umbridge simpered. Ed cut her off.

"You mean the Cheesy Candy dude?" Ed asked nonchalantly.

Umbridge turned puce and in a forced calmness, said, "It's Cornelius Fudge. This is a Ministry order saying that any organizations are now disbanded, unless it has approval by me. Of course this would have nothing to do with you, as you aren't even a student here."

Ed noticed that the line was said just positively _dripping_ with sarcasm.

"Oh," Ed said, "Well see ya, toady."

Umbridge looked like a boiled frog as Ed walked to his room with a slight limp.

"Finally that kid's gone," Gargoyle muttered. He started spinning as the staircase up to Dumbledore's office opened up. "Aw jeez! Can't a gargoyle have a rest?"

Rose flounced down the steps and said, "Ah…Professor Umbridge."

There was a slight wrinkle of distaste in her nose. It went unnoticed by Umbridge, but apparently Mrs. Norris noticed it and hissed at Rose's direction. Funny, hated people/animals seemed to band together, Rose noticed, bored-ly.

"Ms. Rendon, I suggest you go back to your common room before I give you a detention for the rest of the week," Umbridge growled.

"Yeah, yeah," Rose muttered darkly.

She stuck her nose in the air, away from Umbridge and strode off. Around the corner she noticed a shadow, which was Ed. He was watching Umbridge and looked slightly fidgety about her. Ed raised an eyebrow that clearly said, _You told her didn't you?_

"As if," Rose scoffed. "What's the point of helping a frog like her? Unless they got like no life, nobody would help her."

"Guess that explains Filch," Ed snorted, rolling his eyes. "Mrs. Norris too. I swear, even Al doesn't like her very much. Oh whoops, I'm sorry, I mean _it_."

Rose giggled before saying, "Well you should be careful. She is high up in the government here."

Ed snorted, "As if that ever stopped me."

He hurried down the corridor as he noticed Umbridge waddling over to see who the whispers were from.

"You're not in Amestris anymore," Rose said quietly.

"Who cares," Ed said flatly, but his eyes showed the truth.

"If I were you, I'd focus on getting back there," Rose continued, as if she didn't hear him, "It's best for your brother, and for yourself, especially with Envy running around and being psychotic."

"As much as I agree with you, I have to say no," Ed said, walking away. "You're not one of the Seven Sins. That proves that there are many possibilities of other types of homunculi. I have to take them out."

Rose sighed, and muttered, under her breath, "Insufferable fool."

Ed ignored her.

* * *

**(1)-**Still don't have the real name...did they ever even say it O-O


	11. Chapter 11

**I have an excuse! Sorta. One that'll make you guys hate me still, but AN EXCUSE NEVERTHELESS! I've been working on the ES fanfic (which still only has 3 reviews, 2 which are mean and made me feel sad .) ANYWAY, I was working on that and the reason I haven't updated is because my beta (I finally got one...O.O just because of those 2 reviews xD) is a horrible procrastinator. I gave her 2 chapters (I think..) and the entire summer to beta....she still hasn't gotten back to me. Sighh. I knew I should've picked someone less procrastinating... but she's mermaidtetty, the one I'm writing it for and has hella good writing skills (althought she always denies it). DAMN HER PROCRASTINATION. **

**I've also been obsessed with dA lately :D It's awesomeness reigns supreme!!! I wanna post some stuff up now 8D...I need a scanner first . bleghhhh**

**By the way, did you know that when you do cross stitch, you lose your needle a painfully large number of times. ;-;  
**

**ON TO THE (horribly, extremely late) CHAPTER!  
**

Harry was rudely awakened by a yell from the common room. He lay in bed for a few seconds as he attempted to go back to sleep, but, even though it was the ungodly hour of 7 in the morning, he was unable to fall back asleep. He lay in bed as his consciousness rudely reminded him of the pile of homework that was currently hidden deep within his bookbag, as if that would make it disappear. Instead, it seemed to breed. He silently cursed all his teachers for giving him so much homework when he wanted to do nothing more but play Quidditch. At the rate his homework was breeding, he'd barely have time to do practice.

And the worst thing was, the teacher that he liked the best was giving him all this breeding homework, which really sorta sucked.

"Did you hear?" rang out through the Gryffindor common room as the angry students who had been jerked from their restful slumber got up and checked what could have woken them up. There was a crowd of students that were all pushing and shoving each other to see what Umbridge had done this time. Honestly, that woman was trying to get a death wish. Harry didn't doubt that Ed would help her with that.

"What happened?" Harry asked, exasperatedly as he walked down the stairs leading down from the boys' dormitory. How could anyone sleep with the racket that they were making? There was a mass of students crowded around the back of the portrait, yelling and arguing loudly.

"That old toad," Ron muttered darkly as he filled Harry in. They pushed their way through the crowd of angry students with great difficulty. "She decided that she could pick what clubs can stay open. And frankly, I doubt that the DA is part of her list."

"Do you think she knows?" Harry said, in a hushed tone.

"I bet someone snitched!" Ron exclaimed, making a lot of heads turn their way. "...Oops."

Harry dragged Ron's red face and ears along with the rest of his body out the corridor and into an empty classroom.

"Don't worry," a voice rang from behind them. Harry whipped his head around to find a tired and weary Hermione. "I put a charm on the paper that we all signed. Let's just say that it will make Eloise Midgen's pimples look like freckles."

"Now _that _I want to see," Ed chortled as he passed by the vacant room. In a more serious note, he said, "Ugh, what a pain she is. Just more proof that there's no such thing as an uncorrupted government. Honestly, can't there be one efficient government?"

"Just because one person is...unlikeable" Hermione said, struggling to think of a suitable word to describe Umbridge with, "doesn't mean that the entire Ministry is like that. That is a biased and stereotypical thought."

"Tsk," Ed smirked, "So naive. Believe me when I say that the government is just one corrupted mass of people that are complete assholes."

"Well that's just the Amestrian government," Hermione shot back. "I'm sure there's plenty of people like Ron's dad who are genuinely concerned about the wizarding world."

"Well in Amestris, there's a grand total of 11 people who were," Ed said idly. "As for the others, if they weren't in it for the power, they were in it to get money. Well that or trying to kill all humans, but that's not the point. They're all just greedy bastards. Oh darn, that just reminded me of Greed…"

"Oh really," Hermione said acidly, "So pray tell, who were the other lucky ten people?"

"Who said I was one of them," Ed said softly.

Hermione was stunned as she saw the expression on his face, but the mood was interrupted as Al walked into the room, with an exasperated heave, said, "Hurry up brother!"

"Ah there you are!" Rose said cheerily.

"You!" Harry said, in anger. This was the homunculi that was attacking them! And now she goes cheerily on her way saying hi without a regret?! He whipped out his wand and pointed it at Rose. Harry nearly screamed as he felt the wood seemed to wiggle and writhe within his hands. He dropped it in surprise.

"What's wrong Har—?" Ron asked. He quieted as he saw he noticed Harry's wand on the ground, twisted like a pretzel.

"Honestly, when will you guys learn that my power covers anything to do with plants?" Rose laughed. "Your little sticks can't do anything to me if they don't work!"

"You know, I said the same thing as you, Harry. But apparently, an idiot thinks that she's harmless. If I didn't know better, I think he lost his marbles." Ed said, pointedly glaring at Al. "Of course, I don't know better, as a certain kind Colonel has repeatedly told me several hundreds of times, so who knows, maybe he did lose his marbles."

Rose cleared her throat, not unlike the way Umbridge would, and said loudly, toward Ed, "You _do_ know that I'm right here right? Or is your brain so small that you can't remember what happened 5 seconds ago? Because really, that wouldn't be surprising, given your size."

"Calm down, Harry. I can't really explain into detail what happened, but don't worry about Rose. She's on our side," Al said. "And brother, you could be more helpful you know."

"I could," Ed said, doing his best to stop himself from looking at Rose. The vein marks at his temple showed why. "But I'm not a very helpful person."

"You disappoint me," Rose tutted, "Weren't you supposed to be Alchemist of the People? The savior! The one who is the annoying-est! The shorty! And all that other crap, and you won't even help your own brother?"

"You're one to talk," Ed said briskly. "And you don't have to add an insult in every sentence."

"Nope, but I can and I will, _and_ it's free," Rose smiled, ignoring the second part of Ed's sentence, "I, er, she...me...whatever. _Rose_ did anything I could to help her boyfriend didn't she?"

"Including following a psychopathic prophet who was bent on world destruction," Ed smirked.

"You did that too," Rose shot back, "Well you followed and believed that Furher of yours, didn't you?"

"Not when there was proof when he was a psychopath," Ed sneered.

"Can you guys go a single day without arguing?" Al sighed, voicing the Golden Trio's thoughts.

Ed and Rose exchanged a quick look before answering simultaneously, "No."

"Okay then, you are going to be out of the classroom when we have class," Al said sternly.

"Al!" Ed pouted.

"You should listen to him," Hermione giggled, "The problem is, Professor, some of the boys around here are just so thick-headed that they can't do anything right."

"I know exactly what you mean," Rose gushed.

"You know, I think I liked you better in Lior," Ed grumbled.

"Yeah, well life ain't fair," Rose smiled.

"That's way too true," Ed muttered under his breath.

Al, in an attempt to save the dreary mood, cheerily said, "Well on the bright side, you guys are agreeing with each other for once."

"Now on to a more important matter," Harry interjected, "What the hell are we going to do about Umbridge?"

"Easy," Ed said. With a sing-song voice, and fluttering a fan that seemed to appear out of nowhere, he said, "Just wait till Defense!"

Somehow, Al and the Golden Trio could tell that it would not be a pretty class. And mind you, they had to go through breakfast with her first! And with their luck, she would be in Potions...

* * *

How right they were when they entered the oh-so-cozy Potions dungeon and what did they find but a 'frog boiling in the back of the room' as Ed put it. Al promptly slapped his own head out of exasperation while Hughes chortled.

"Yo! Snapey, you making something with toads in it today? We got a not so good specimen in the back," Ed drawled, his thumb pointing back at Umbridge. He pinched his nose like something was stinking reaaally bad, "Might wanna use it fast, before it rots even worse."

"Well, well, well," Snape said, with an approving smirk, "what have we here? Two snot-nosed brats, a deranged ghost, and a Professor in the back."

"Who are you calling deranged?" Hughes said, disapprovingly, "Do you call a man, er ghost, who has such an AMAZINGLY cute daughter deranged? No, you don't."

"Language, you wouldn't any of the students picking any foul language. Of course, it's already foul enough in here." Ed said back jestingly, a slight tilt of the head showed that he was obviously talking about Umbridge, who was turning crimson with every jab.

"Might I remind you," Umbridge began with a shrill voice, "that you are on probation, currently?"

"Well I'm not on probation, so I have every right to talk to Snapey-kins here, 'cuz he's my bestest buddy in this world! I would do it with Mustang but he's not here at the moment," Hughes said cheerfully. "They've both got that 'mess with me and you die' look around them, and the best thing is, I'm already dead, so they _can't_ kill me! Besides, freedom of speech! It's against the law to stop me from talking to him!"

"Eh," Ed shrugged, turning around, "Couldn't really care less. But of course, if you fire me, you have to find someone to replace. And, well, considering that the Ministry doesn't even acknowledge the fact that there is alchemy in the world, you got no chance of replacing me. So you're stuck with me."

"Bro-ther," Al moaned. Getting into another fight...

"I can just cut Alchemy straight off the curriculum," Umbridge seethed.

"You can't, you haven't gotten the au-_thor_-i-ty," Ed stretched out the word happily.

"I can get it," Umbridge argued.

"Actuaaaally," Ed said, with an innocent tone. "I-"

"As interesting as your argument is, I have a class to begin," Snape said smoothly and lethally.

"Go on, batty," Ed grinned. Al resisted the urge to bang his head on the wall. Snape gave Ed a withering look, and Ed just smiled in response.

Snape swept his cloak away from Ed's direction and began his lesson in a hissing soft voice. "We are continuing with our Strengthening Solution today. You will find your mixtures as you left them last week. Instructions are one the board."

There was a flourish of his wand as words magically appeared on the board.

"So, how long have you been at this post?" Umbridge asked Snape after she had walked around a bit.

"Fourteen years," Snape answered curtly.

"I also have information that says you had also applied for Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Umbridge asked, after making a little symbol on her clipboard. "You were unsuccessful?"

"Obviously," Snape hissed, showing some teeth.

"You have regularly applied for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post since you first joined the staff, I believe?" Umbridge asked. Without waiting for an answer, she went on, "Do you have any idea why Dumbledore has consistently refused to appoint you?" Umbridge asked.

"I don't know, I suggest that you ask him," Snape said jerkily, quite obviously annoyed.

Ed gave out a soft chortle as he stopped Harry from putting in the wrong ingredient for the fifth time or so.

Of course, it didn't help much, considering Ed had missed out a lot of the ingredients that Harry accidentally put in. It was only halfway through the class and the contents of Harry's cauldron was already reduced to a rubbery, bubbling mass that was giving off a very_ nasty_ smell.

Kinda like how Mustang smelled sometimes.

"What do you think of this class Miss Parkinson?" Umbridge asked in a feigned kind tone. Really, even a toddler could see through a voice like that.

"Professor Snape is a great teacher!" Pansy gushed. "I mean, sometimes, students don't listen to him, but that's just because those students are bad, there's nothing wrong with Professor Snape. I mean, you know how Potter is a bit loony in the head, so it's not really the Professor's fault that he's failing this class."

"I quite agree," Umbridge smiled. Harry growled under his breath, as he yet again, picked up a random ingredient and dumped it into the cauldron. Ed eyed the cauldron warily as it started bubbling precariously. Ed glanced at the pile that Harry had just reached from. Limestone. Ed ducked. Just in time to get out of the small explosion. That was an understatement.

"Er...I don't think that's supposed to happen," Harry blinked, his and Umbridge's face covered in soot.

"...on the bright side, your potion isn't a bubbling rubbery mass anymore?" Ed laughed.

"How more incompetent can you get?" Snape near growled as he magicked all the explosive potion away.

"No marks again, Potter," Snape said nastily, magicking all the contents of the cauldron.

"I hope you punish him accordingly," Umbridge hissed as she (rather unsuccessfully) wiped her face, forgetting for a second that she was a witch. The patch of skin that was revealed showed her red rubbery face furiously mad.

"For what? Making a simple mistake?" Ed scoffed. "School is where you learn to fix those mistakes."

"Except Potter has been doing this since the first year. He doesn't learn at all," Snape sneered. "Meaning that he hasn't learned a single ounce of knowledge."

"Well maybe it's because of the incompetence of the teacher," Ed said happily.

"Why is it," Al muttered, very much annoyed, to Hermione, "that every time Brother sees Umbridge, there's arguing?"

"I know what it feels like," Hermione comforted, "Malfoy and Harry are like that every time they lay eyes on each other."

"This is exactly how it was with Mustang," Al sighed. "Brother can never control himself."

"-lalala! I can't heaaar you!" Ed chimed as he covered his ears like a 2 year old. Al didn't doubt that his mind capacity _was_ of a 2 year old.

"Mark my words," Umbridge growled, "You _will_ be sacked. And I swear I'll do everything I can to make your life miserable."

"Gee, I wonder what'd it be like with a miserable life," Ed said with raised eyebrows, suddenly being able to hear, despite the covering of his ears.

The bell rang at the moment, sparing Snape and Umbridge a big lecture of how his life was miserable already (mostly due to them being in it).

* * *

_I want to go to the library later,_ Harry thought, as he and Ron were busy making up random and rather ominous predictions for their future.

"Eh? Why?" Ron asked absent-mindedly. "If I were you, I'd be doing my best to avoid it, especially with Hermione going crazy about studying her OWLs. Honestly, she starts studying when there's more than half the school year left."

Apparently Harry had the habit of speaking things when he was supposed to be thinking them. He blamed the incense of the Divination classroom; it really could mess with your brains. That explained a lot about Trewalney.

"I want to check some stuff out," Harry replied vaguely. He turned to the index of his textbook, "A bunny means violence or violent. That's the weirdest thing I've heard."

"Well it _is_ Divination," Ron explained matter-of-factly. "This entire subject is barking mad. The one think I don't hate about Umbridge is that she put the old bat on probation."

"Hey look here," Harry observed, "A bat stands for demon."

"Trewalney's a bat alright," Ron shook his head, "but she's no demon. Umbridge already took that role."

"Nah, it's not Umbridge, it's Snape," Harry disagreed. "Umbridge is a toad, a fat, stinky, toad that has nothing to do all day except to torture us. She's definitely not going to get kissed by a handsome prince or whatever."

"…Huh?" Ron asked bewildered. "Why would anyone want to kiss a toad?"

"Muggle story," Harry sighed. "Apparently there's this handsome prince that got turned into a frog and when a girl kissed it, he turned back into a human and married her."

"That's just barmy," Ron muttered, "Muggles make up all these stupid stories. Why would he just marry her after she kissed him!? Maybe she gave him a love potion or something."

"Ron." Harry sighed, "It's completely made up, fictional, whatever. No love potion or anything like that."

"Hey, so why'd you want to go to the library?" Ron grouched, changing the topic.

"I want to study for the O.W.L.s." Harry hastily lied.

"Uh-huuuh," Ron said skeptically. "The O.W.L.s aren't for another half year. More than that. And unless someone drank some Polyjuice Potion and is pretending to be you, I'd be thinking you're barking mad. So, who are you and what have you done to Harry?"

Ron's nearly seriously expression made Harry chuckle a bit, "Well the O.W.L.s are important aren't they? So it's best to start studying."

"…I think Hermione mixed some weird potion or gave you something funny to eat this morning…" Ron stared. "You know…that might be possible. She might have given you some funky magical mushroom or whatever and is trying to get me to study for the O.W.L.s. Or you could be Hermione in disguise while the real Harry is somewhere knocked out and stuffed away in a broom cupboard. Well, Hermione, this plot won't work, I'm not going to go study."

"…I think, no, I _know_ you've gone bonkers."

"Thank you."

"Your welcome."

Lavender frowned as she heard them laughing and joking around, "You know, you're being very mean right now. Professor Trewalney is already depressed because of-" here, she looked around shiftily, "Umbridge."

Apparently the looking around didn't do much help, as Trewalney let out a wail as the name was uttered. She shuddered as she began sobbing uncontrollably.

"There, there, Professor," Pavarti patted Trewalney's back awkwardly. "It's okay, Umbridge is just a really annoying, don't let her get to you."

Ron looked at Harry seriously and said, " I think this place has gone nutters."So there Harry sat alone in the quite empty library. He made sure to avoid both Ron and Hermione; Ron because he was still looking at Harry like he was crazy for going to the library, and Hermione because she was bound to ask what it was for. And somehow, he didn't think that she would like his answer.

* * *

So there Harry was, in the quite empty library. Scratch that, it wasn't quite empty, it was completely empty besides for him. Even Madam Pince wasn't in there. It _was_ 3 hours past curfew after all. Under his Invisibility Cloak, he was getting quite paranoid. Every creak was Snape. Every shadow was McGonagall. Every whisper was Edward. In fact, the whispers were coming from a book called Edward. It was a story of a valiant teenager who decided to save the world. Plus a lot of gory details. It was a joy to read. _Joy_.

Harry shook his head and berated himself silently for being so paranoid. He continued to walk on into the Restricted Section, idly wondering who he could get to give him a permission slip to borrow a book. That is, if he found one that suited his needs.

Edward? Possible, if he phrased it right…and lathered it with a lot of praises and did a lot of sucking up to. McGonagall? No way, she was too rule abiding and suspecting. She'd report it right away. Flitwick? Maybe, but he'd probably report it too. Snape? He'd kill himself before asking Snape to do something. Umbridge? No way in HELL. Hm…Trewalney would work…especially considering how much she was in denial of probation.

As he thought, he paced. As he paced, he stroked the tops of the books. There was a whole row of muttering and whispering books saying how disgusting it was to be even looked at by a mere human. Harry wandered over to the section that he had been looking for.

Ah…there it was. He carefully picked out a random book, hesitating every few seconds, wary of new creaks, new shadows from his flickering candlelight, and new whipsers from Edward. He gently opened the book, ready to snap it closed and bolt if it started screaming like the oh-so-nice one that nearly deafened him in his first year.

It screamed.

"FILTHY WIZARD! HOW DARE YOU EVEN LOOK AT ME! AAAAAH!"

Harry snapped the book shut, and bolted out of the room, leaving the candle behind. He nearly ran into Edward who had already gotten to the door. Snape came in from the other entrance at the same time. Harry backed away slowly, doing his best not to knock anything over. It felt like Ed's golden eyes were staring right at him.

"Ah…you," Snape said distastefully.

"So you heard it too?" Ed raised an eyebrow.

"It's hard not to. It must've woken up the whole castle," Snape answered. "Only Restricted Section books do that."

Harry edged toward the door as he tried to escape the two.

"What's the meaning of that racket!" Umbridge hissed as she too entered the room.

"Student out of bed! In the corridors! Ooh, when I find him, I'll hang him by the toenails from the ceiling!" Filch muttered happily to himself, trailing behind Umbridge.

"The student must still be in here, there's no way anyone could've gotten out of here in time," Snape guessed. He waved a wand at the door. "Now no one can leave this room without setting off the wards. That should teach Pott- the student."

"So you immediately assume it's Harry?" Ed frowned.

"Of course! That little brat!" Umbridge hissed. "Disrespecting authority!"

Harry felt it was hopeless to leave until someone lifted the spell and sat in the corner, eternally grateful for his Invisibility Cloak.

"So the Restricted Section, eh?" Ed wandered over there, glancing at the books. "Is it just me or do you hear whispers?"

"It's a charm on the books," Snape replied curtly. "When there's a student nearby without permission, they'll whisper. Quite like gossiping little old ladies, really. They'll scream when opened."

"I'll take your word for it…" Ed raised an eyebrow. "Well that means that the student's still in here, which also means that he knows about the ward you put up. Brilliant."

"You didn't do much," Snape hissed.

"No, I found out what section the student was in…." Ed answered. He was pale and staring at the shelf like it was the devil himself. Snape frowned and wandered over. Umbridge too walked over frowning a bit.

"Alchemy? Someone must be planning to use alchemy to overtake the Ministry! You've been corrupting the students! The Minister will hear about this!" Umbridge gasped.

"This is the restricted section. You can find many alchemy books in the regular section," Ed shook his head. "The restricted section holds the most gruesome and dangerous things. Someone's planning _human transmutation._"

Harry stiffened at this.

"Human transmutation?" Snape frowned. "Isn't that bringing someone back to life?"

Ed nodded. "That's exactly why it's so dangerous. Nobody should mess with the balance of life. One, ah, I mean God doesn't take it lightly."

He turned to the seemingly empty room and yelled out, "I know what you're planning. Don't go through with this. You'll wish you didn't."

For once, Harry wished he could listen to his teacher. _I have to go through with this…it's my only chance of seeing my parents again. Even the Mirror of Erised said that that was my 'heart's greatest desire.'_


	12. Chapter 12

So, a couple of months ago(like some time last year...) I decided to edit the entire story, because I went back and couldn't even stand to read a chapter (I'm really surprised how many of you guys actually like this xD).

I'm already done with one and a half chapters, blame my laziness. I'll update them all together once I'm done, which might actually not take that long since I'm writing really fast lately. But they won't be up this month because I have a piano test soon, and I'm really not ready...blame my laziness again.

I swear I am not dead, and I will finish this story! Don't review to this chapter since I'm going to replace it with the actual story.


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